(Closed) Would drop your maiden name if your boss didn’t like your uncle?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

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Horseradish :  Was she a partner at a law firm?

Edit: Never mind. I just reread it. Interesting story.

Post # 3
Member
251 posts
Helper bee

I think that’s totally inappropriate unless the uncle did something horrible that was well known in community, so that being affiliated with him would be bad press. Just not liking someone is not enough reason to ask someone to change their name. 

Post # 5
Member
528 posts
Busy bee

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Horseradish :  Oh no, I understand. I actually asked (before I later realized it was a different type of company) because I was wondering if her name would show up as part of the company’s name or in some major way on their website, or if the boss and uncle were like legal scholars that always wrote articles criticizing each other’s views.

Either way, I think it’s definitely overstepping. You can’t make someone change their identity.

Post # 6
Member
2370 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

At first, I thought, what balls! But the boss has to think of his professional reputation too. He is entitled to that, and it isn’t like he wanted to fire her for her name. I assume the boss isn’t asking her to change her name legally, just not use the uncle’s name in connection with her job.

If you worked in an investment firm, and your uncle was Bernie Madoff, it is understandable for you not to use that name, in your professional life.

Post # 8
Member
201 posts
Helper bee

Would not change my name. Definitely inappropriate to ask someone to do that because of personal bias. 

Post # 9
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

I had a co-worker (law firm) where the boss asked her to change her name from a foreign name to Tina!!!! She never used or went by the name Tina, but he wanted her to use it so clients wouldn’t struggle with her name. Thank goodness she stood up for herself and said no!

Post # 10
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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mrsaime :  Woooow. That’s terrible. 

Post # 11
Member
5643 posts
Bee Keeper

I would be ticked off.  Mostly because i didn’t change my name and I’d have to go to court to get it legally changed. Now if there was money at stake i might swallow my pride and change it for business but not legally unless its going to cost me millions in business. So bottom line i would change it if it effects business and MY bottom line but not legally. Id still be unhappy with it though. 

Post # 12
Member
5643 posts
Bee Keeper

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mrsaime :  OK this is awful.  This might change my answer. 

Post # 13
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

That sounds illegal.  What if it were an ethnic name?  

I once had a mysogynistic “old world” boss who refused to call any women by their birth last names, if they did not change it after marriage.  He’d find out their husbands’ last names and use that.  

Post # 14
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

On some work things, my maiden name is included, and in other things, it’s not, mainly because of formatting issues. I am proud of my maiden name. The administration never made a big deal about it. 

As far as the example in question, I suppose I’d need more context. If your maiden name is Walton, and you’re working high on the chain for Target, I can see why they’d want you to not have the maiden name so prominent. 

Post # 15
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Umm.. it’s time to find a new boss!

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