Post # 1
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I was just reading a story about how a woman who used her maiden name as her middle name and used all 3 names professionally. She applied for a new position in media relations/spokeswoman type role, and her new boss asked her to only use her first and married names, not her maiden-now-middle, because it was also her uncle’s name and her uncle and her boss had had some bitter business disputes. The boss and the uncle had been big critics of one another. She actually did drop her maiden/middle name!
Have any bees ever been asked to modify their name for work? If so, what was the reason given?
Do you think this is a reasonable request or overstepping?
Post # 2
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
Horseradish : Was she a partner at a law firm?
Edit: Never mind. I just reread it. Interesting story.
Post # 3
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
I think that’s totally inappropriate unless the uncle did something horrible that was well known in community, so that being affiliated with him would be bad press. Just not liking someone is not enough reason to ask someone to change their name.
Post # 4
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper
slothbear : no, not a law firm. I wanted to leave the employer out for the telling of the story because I didn’t want the employer name or boss or uncle name to influence people’s reactions/opinions.
Post # 5
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
Horseradish : Oh no, I understand. I actually asked (before I later realized it was a different type of company) because I was wondering if her name would show up as part of the company’s name or in some major way on their website, or if the boss and uncle were like legal scholars that always wrote articles criticizing each other’s views.
Either way, I think it’s definitely overstepping. You can’t make someone change their identity.
Post # 6
Member
2433 posts
Buzzing bee
At first, I thought, what balls! But the boss has to think of his professional reputation too. He is entitled to that, and it isn’t like he wanted to fire her for her name. I assume the boss isn’t asking her to change her name legally, just not use the uncle’s name in connection with her job.
If you worked in an investment firm, and your uncle was Bernie Madoff, it is understandable for you not to use that name, in your professional life.
Post # 7
Member
7412 posts
Busy Beekeeper
DanaWeddingGuest : it’s nothing like that; the uncle might not be everyone’s favorite but he’s always been considered legit/ethical and respectable.
Post # 8
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
Would not change my name. Definitely inappropriate to ask someone to do that because of personal bias.
Post # 9
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
I had a co-worker (law firm) where the boss asked her to change her name from a foreign name to Tina!!!! She never used or went by the name Tina, but he wanted her to use it so clients wouldn’t struggle with her name. Thank goodness she stood up for herself and said no!
Post # 10
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
mrsaime : Woooow. That’s terrible.
Post # 11
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee
I would be ticked off. Mostly because i didn’t change my name and I’d have to go to court to get it legally changed. Now if there was money at stake i might swallow my pride and change it for business but not legally unless its going to cost me millions in business. So bottom line i would change it if it effects business and MY bottom line but not legally. Id still be unhappy with it though.
Post # 12
Member
4910 posts
Honey bee
mrsaime : OK this is awful. This might change my answer.
Post # 13
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
That sounds illegal. What if it were an ethnic name?
I once had a mysogynistic “old world” boss who refused to call any women by their birth last names, if they did not change it after marriage. He’d find out their husbands’ last names and use that.
Post # 14
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
On some work things, my maiden name is included, and in other things, it’s not, mainly because of formatting issues. I am proud of my maiden name. The administration never made a big deal about it.
As far as the example in question, I suppose I’d need more context. If your maiden name is Walton, and you’re working high on the chain for Target, I can see why they’d want you to not have the maiden name so prominent.
Post # 15
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
Umm.. it’s time to find a new boss!
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