(Closed) Would guests pay for this or the shower organizers (me)?

posted 8 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Who pays for the pottery painting ($35), at a shower - individual guests or the shower hostess?
    Individual guest : (7 votes)
    50 %
    Shower hostess : (7 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    476 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I think that’s way too much to put on one person.  Definitely pay for the bride though.  Maybe if you just put is somewhat straight forward that this is where we’re going to be and this is what it costs.  Maybe if there’s someone you know won’t be able to pay that much you could talk to them privately.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I think the above comment is good I don’t think any one person should have to pay for all of that. 

    We just had a shower for my cousin and we did an email to everyone explaining that we were going to take care of the first round of drinks and apps/desert but any other food or beverages they would need to plan on coming dutch.  Anyway, it went really well and it wasn’t a burden on anyone.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    we did a shower like that for my sil and my mom paid for everyone… but if bridemaids were paying (or really anyone) i wouldn’t expect them to pay. that’s a lot of money! i think my mom just felt bad because her parents didn’t have a lot of money so she wanted to throw her a nice shower.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1982 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would see if there’s any way you could negotiate a group rate… if not, maybe offer to pay 5% of each person’s pottery as a way of getting people to come? I think that would be a good gesture

    Post # 7
    Member
    248 posts
    Helper bee

    Personally I don’t think it is polite to ask shower guests (who are natually bringing a gift) to pay for anything at a shower ~ food, drinks, activities should all be the responsibilitiy of the hostess. So I would explain to the bride that as the hostess, I can’t afford pottery painting and that I’m not comfortable asking guests to pay their own money to “honor” the bride – beyond their gift. I would instead offer to host the type of shower I could afford, even if that’s tea sandwiches and lemonade on my back deck.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1023 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    yah, I’d be annoyed if I were asked to pay to attend a shower (esp $35) and then bring a gift. I’d do something else.

    Post # 9
    Member
    78 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I have to say that as a guest I would agree with the last 2 comments.  Everyone brings gifts for everything (eng, shower, wedding) and to be expected to pay for a supplemental activity at the shower would be frustrating.  I also don’t think it should be just your responsibility.  Is there anyone else that would be willing to share the cost with you?  Mother, friends, other bridesmaids?  That would atleast soften the blow a little.  If not then my suggestion is to have the shower elsewhere and do the pottery painting as a seperate activity.  Maybe a bridal party event?

     

    Good Luck!!!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1194 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Yea, I am kind of eh on this.  Something like this seems maybe a little better suited for a low key bachelorette party.  But, I agree with @LaborofLove . . . see if you can get a group rate and maybe coverage a percentage of the cost.

    I just know that if I wasn’t into painting pottery, came with a gift and paid an extra $35, I’d be a little nonplussed by it.  It might especially throw off some of the older guests who are a little less open minded about stuff like that.

    Post # 11
    Member
    44 posts
    Newbee

    Why would it cost $35? Most pottery places I’ve been to have all sorts of items for painting at all sorts of prices. One common inexpensive one is a clay tile about 4 inches by 4 inches, which you can use for a drink coaster (or sometimes there are frames to put a bunch of them together into a larger trivet, which you could do if you wanted it to be “let’s make a keepsake for the bride.” That’d probably run you about $5-6 per person.

    You could announce that you’ll pay for a tile per person. Then if they want to do something else, that can be on them. I think that’d be a nice compromise.

    Post # 12
    Member
    940 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    This may not be a popular answer, but personally, I would be quite put off if I were invited to a shower that I’d not only have to bring a gift for, but pay $35 for pottery I didn’t even want.  I mean, I get that this is what the bride wants.  But seriously, that’s just way too much.

    Does she understand the costs involved?

    Post # 13
    Member
    3762 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I am not sure why they charge $35 pp.  What if you went and just bought 1 piece per person (should be about $10 per person) and you bought it for them?

    I think it sounds like a bit much for you to pay for, and a bit much to ask for guests to pay for.  I would be upset if I were in either persons shoes.  Like you said, it would almost be $700 out of your pocket, and as a guest its $35 plus the cost of a gift!  Too much money!

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