(Closed) Would I be a jerk?!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Can your Fiance escort his mom down and then have his Dad and stepmom walk together?

She might be over reacting, but I think maybe now would be the time to let the things in the past go. None of those offenses seem like that big of a deal. And technically it is the right thing to invite FIL’s wife instead of his friend (or both).

Post # 5
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@SimplyMrsC:  Oh, I see about the BFF, and that is weird.

My mom, stepdadish figure and stepmom walked down together and it was cute. They all get along really well though so it worked. Otherwise maybe have an usher walk her (your SM) down.

I thinnk with the Groomsmen being at the alter already, it would work really nice for him to walk with his mom.

ETA:I would do

Your SM with usher /GM

FIs Dad and SM

Fiance and mom


Flower girl

Bride and family

Post # 6
11355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Although I think it is perfectly fine for you to ask your divorced parents to walk you down the aisle on either side of you, I do not think it is at all appropriate for your FI’s divorced parents to walk together down the aisle.

I think you could avoid this situation entirely by having your FI’s father escort his wife down the aisle first and then be seated next to her, then having one of the groomsmen or an usher (preferrably one that is related to your FI’s mother — does your Fiance have a brother or cousin on his mother’s side who is in the wedding who could do this?) escort your FI’s mother down the aisle, followed by your formal wedding-party procession (bridesmaids, flower girl), followed, finally, by your parents escorting you. 

Would that work?

Post # 9
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@SimplyMrsC:  In a lot of Catholic ceremonies that I have been to this is pretty traditional (I have  been to mostly catholic weddings so that is the norm for me).

Post # 10
11355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@SimplyMrsC:  Oh, sorry! I actually forgot about your stepmom. Oops. (And I AM a stepmom, lol!)

The best manner in which to handle this is to seat all of the other mothers (except YOURS, of course), FIRST, BEFORE the groomsmen and your Fiance come out and stand at the altar.

Generally, the procession down the aisle should go from least important to most important. (I hate putting it like that, because no one is unimportant, but the most important should be last.)

Yes, I would have one of the other groomsman escort your stepmother first.

Then, I would have your FI’s father escort your FI’s stepmother.

Then, I would have your FI’s brother escort your FI’s mother.

Then, the groomsmen should all appear (those who have escorted the mothers could go to the side after having seated the mothers and then process out with your Fiance and the other groomsmen to stand at the altar.

Next would follow the bridesmaids and then the flower girl and ring bearer (if applicable.)

Finally, the main attraction:  YOU, escorted by your parents on either side. 

How does that sound?

ETA:  You definitely could make a case for having your FI’s dad escort your FI’s stepmother first, before a groomsman escorts YOUR stepmother.  That actually may make the most sense, since SMOB probably trumps SMOG, just as MOB trumps MOG.  However, I had the order reversed simply because your FI’s father would be escorting her.

Post # 11
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I kinda think this is ridiculous.  She’s walking down the aisle for 2 friggin seconds!!!  I bet she’s upset that he’s going to be walking down the aisle with his ex-wife more than the fact that SHE won’t be the one walking down with FI’s dad.  She sounds RIDICULOUS.  I wouldn’t give her a second thought, honestly.  If you WANT to change it around because you think you can find better options, that’s all you.  But, I think it’s YOUR wedding.  YOU should do what you want and have whomever walking down whenever with whomever! 

And, I disagree w/ a PP.  Asking you to step out of a picture because she wants “family” only – ew! 

Post # 12
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I have to agree with her, it’s inappropriate for FI’s divorced parents to walk down the aisle together. But whatever, it’s what Fiance wants. I wouldn’t change my mind just because this lady is dramatic. 

Post # 16
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@Brielle:  This order looks right to me.

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