Post # 1
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
Long story short:
Im not catholic (but am baptised christian) but my fi is, we will have a mixed marriage wedding ceremony march 9th in cancun (so its a one hour flight away from the city we live, monterrey). theres a bilingual priest there who is available to do the ceremony
thing is, we’ve been attending a local church (to help me understand more about the catholic church and if i want to fully convert after the marriage, as well as marriage preparation related stuff) and the local priest has been helping us every step of the way. quite simply, he’s a lovely lovely man
would it be odd to ask if he could travel with us and perform the ceremony? i dont know if it makes a difference, but there are 7 priests who do masses every sunday at this church (every hour on the hour) and they sometimes subsitute for each other
we’ve only been attending for a few months and whilst we’ve met him several times..it seems a bit forward to say “please could we fly you to cancun”. but given his help, itd be really special if he did the ceremony as opposed to a priest we’ve never met
aside from whether he wants to, are priests even allowed to travel?
Post # 3
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
@newname_99: Your best bet will be to talk to the priest. Even if he says he can’t, I’m sure he’d be very honored that you’d ask! 🙂
Rules will vary from diocese to diocese. If your priest is in an order (a Franciscan or Benedictine, for example) his order’s rules might be different from the rules for the diocesan priests. Also, if, say, four of the other priests are on retreat that week (unlikely, but who knows?), it would probably be a really inconvenient week for him to be out of the country.
He will, however, need to get faculties from the bishop of whichever diocese Cancun is in. “Faculties” are, in short, permission for a priest to perform non-emergency Sacraments in a certain diocese. They’re generally quite simple to get, but he’ll need to contact the diocese well ahead of time to get that sorted out.
Best of luck! 🙂
Post # 4
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
@newname_99: this is totally appropriate, definitely talk to the priest! we’re having a family friend fly from Chicago to do our NY ceremony. I’m sure he’d be honored that you’d even want him to celebrate with you! he will, as PP mentioned, need a letter of dispensation from the Cancun Diocese and a letter of good standing from his superior. From what I’ve been told, all of these are formalities and relatively easy to obtain.
Post # 5
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
Thanks! i guess it feels a bit awkward because we arent (yet) long standing members of the parish
i guess it cant hurt to ask, even if he does say no. im about to go to england for the next 3 weeks to pick up all my marriage related documents (birth certificate with apostille, baptism certificate and what have you) but ill be back october 1st. hopefully it wont be too late! i definitely dont want to do it by email, so when im back we’ll make an appointment. fingers crossed!!
Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
Yes, definitely ask him about it. He will be honored and touched, not to mention flattered! Even if he ends up having to decline, I’m sure it will mean a lot to him that you made the request. And, best-case scenario, he might be able to celebrate your wedding, which would be *awesome*! It means so much when you can have a priest you know, like, and admire as your celebrant.
FWIW: when my sister got married a few years back, she and her Fiance were able to have their favorite priest travel from NYC to Seattle to officiate. It can definitely be done! It meant the world to them, too, that Fr. Mike did that for them.
Post # 7
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
You have to ask him, They would have to work it out with the church you have chosen. Outdoor ceremonies can not be performed by a priest. I would ask him though, no harm in asking
Post # 8
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
As a PP said, it depends on if he is a member of an order or if he is a diocesean priest, among many other things. He has taken an oath of obedience to the bishop, so just remember that he may want to go, but has to request permission from the bishop who man deny it!
Also, will you be getting married in a Catholic Church in cancun?
Post # 9
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
@moose91: the wedding will be in a little chapel, but its in a private venue. . its recognised as a place for catholic weddings, but doesnt have regular mass and doesnt have a priest attached. so we either need to ask our one, or the local one to come to the chapel
Post # 10
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
@newname_99: Interesting! It’s definitely common for priests to travel (ours is coming from about 2 hours away) to say weddings- my great uncle came from ireland to celerate my parents wedding Mass!- I guess it would just be best to ask him and have him request permission from the bishop! I would do that sooner rather than later!
If he can’t, maybe you could set up email or video meetings with the priest in cancun to get to know each other better?
Keep us updated!
Post # 11
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
@newname_99: yes they can travel. ask him directly. youll have to sponsor him entirely and id offer to pay him for his time. ask him now because priests get really busy.
Post # 12
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
I think it wouldn’t hurt. Just be sure to make it clear that you are planning on paying for ALL of his costs (plane ticket, hotel room, etc.)
Post # 13
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
actually, how do we figure out expenses
hotel room and flight obviously (and hotel is all inclusive so dont have to worry about meals when he is there). but for how many days or does it depend how many he wnats? friday-monday? do we give him spending money?
we’ll be asking him this week =) fingers crossed!!
Post # 14
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
I think it would be fine to establish your own limits about what you will cover. If you need him there on Friday for a rehearsal and Saturday for the ceremony, for example, you can arrange his travel and accommodations for just those days. If you want him there for the whole weekend, you should cover that. His diocese or his order may make that decision for you, too, if they need him back by a certain day/time or need him to wait until a certain day/time to leave.
He will probably be okay for basic spending money. If you were planning to give him a cash gift as a thank you, though, it wouldn’t hurt to time it so that he could use the money during the weekend if needed.
Post # 15
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
Well we’ve asked him!! he said he would be delighted to go, but its not his decision… so he will let us know in 15 days
fingers crossed!!
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