(Closed) Would it be weird not to pick a maid of honor?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
3031 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I haven’t officially labeled anyone yet either… but I’ve found that if someone isn’t “in charge” then you end up “in charge” or nothing happens. You might just have to take that extra step to say “X is in charge of the shower, Y is in charge of the bachlorette….” 

I just hate picking favorites, which is what Maid of Honor feels like to me. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in one of the girls wedding’s before so she’s kind of assumed the position. So now I’m struggling with if I’m going to label her as such or not. It’s just tough because I’ve known 2 of the other girls longer, and 3 of the other girls are phsyically closer to where I live now and are able to help out with random crafts and things. And 1 girl I spend way more actual time with because we share the same group of friends that regularly gets together + lives closest to me, but I’ve known her the shortest amount of time. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 5 months ago by  amberback.
Post # 3
297 posts
Helper bee

How about naming all of them Maid/Matron of Honor instead? I mean, it really is just a silly title if you think about it. Plus if they’ve all been good friends and will all contribute to the planning, they all deserve it.

Post # 4
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Not weird at all!! I had 3 bridesmaids and no Maid/Matron of Honor. I didn’t want to differentiate one as the “better friend”, and they all helped out equally. Same goes for my DH who had 5 groomsmen but no best man. when the time came for bachelor/ette parties we each had a friend who stepped up and said they wanted to take the lead on planning and the others helped out. It worked perfectly for us.

Post # 5
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

No but you do need to decide who would be the last person walking down the aisle. 

Post # 6
4148 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I had 3 bridesmaids and no Maid/Matron of Honor. I just delegated “responsibilities” to each – one stood next to me and held my bouquet and did the shower, one did the speech and the bachlorette, the other was the witness on the marriage certificate. It was all good ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 7
766 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
shelbypoo:  We have 3 on each side and are not choosing a Maid/Matron of Honor or best man either.  It might be a little more strange to have a best man and no Maid/Matron of Honor, but really, I think it’s fine.  People might notice for about a second, and then not really care.  If anyone asks you about it, you can just say “I love them all and couldn’t choose!”  I don’t think grown adults should be forced to choose a “bestest friend” if there’s not a natural choice.

Post # 8
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - State Park

I’m having FI’s two sisters and his sister in law as bridesmaids. I haven’t picked a Maid/Matron of Honor yet, and I don’t know if I will. I don’t think its weird. 

Post # 9
311 posts
Helper bee

I didn’t choose one and it worked out totally fine.  I didn’t have much responsibility for my Bridesmaid or Best Man (very small bachelorette, shower planned largely by older women in my family) so it didn’t create any issues of “who is in charge”.  

Post # 10
3584 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
shelbypoo:  my bff is naming all of us Maid/Matron of Honor because she can’t pick one because we are all good friends which is understandable. If you only want Bridesmaid or Best Man to avoid picking thats cool. MoH Bridesmaid or Best Man either way they will be in the wedding. 

Post # 11
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
legallybrunette:  I like this plan.  Just say they are your maids of honor… however you still then have to pick someone to sign the marriage license. 


Luckily I have a sister and named her Maid/Matron of Honor and I had a rainbow wedding so each maid wore their favorite color dress and the order sorted itself out. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
29 posts

What tasks are you assigning your BMs?

Anyway, I agree with the others 3 BMs and no Maid/Matron of Honor isnt weird at all. No one will notice, but likely assume the one standing closest to you is.  Since Fiance will have a Bridesmaid or Best Man and two Groomsmen your program or chalkboard may not have even lines if you were planning to do that.

Post # 14
8482 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I didnt have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I only had two bridesmaids, and I knew if I picked one of them then the other would be upset, so I just didnt want to deal with it. 

Post # 15
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

my best friends of 10+ years are twins. Also two sisters i adore but who are younger, still in school and couldnt ‘take charge’ or help plan much. So i have a little dilemma with that. Im also hoping i could possibly get away with no Maid/Matron of Honor. And also Fiance sister in law has been saying shes so excited to finally have a sister and loves me so much and wants to help with the wedding and i get along with her quite well.. Not sure if i should ask her also… 

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