Post # 1
Hi there!! I think I have a somewhat unusual friend situation, and would appreciate some advice. I am having three bridesmaids, and my fiance is having three groomsmen (he has already selected one of them to be his best man). I am equally close to two of my three bridesmaids, and have known both of them for about the same length of time. The third girl and I are good friends but aren’t quite as close and don’t get to hang out much; she is pretty busy with school and her family. None of these three girls stand out to me as an obvious choice for a maid of honor, so I’m wondering if it would be really weird not to have one, and just have all three girls as “bridesmaids”. I was hoping that as my wedding got closer, one would start to stand out more than the others, but that hasn’t happened; they have been equally great (which I suppose is a good problem to have). 🙂 I thought about having two maids of honor (girls 1 and 2) since I’m equally close to both of them, but I’m afraid that if I did that, girl #3 would feel singled out being “just a bridesmaid” and I don’t want that either. I guess it would be different if my bridal party was larger. None of these girls are dramatic or immature, so I’m very lucky there, but I don’t want to risk starting anything over something this silly. Has anyone else ever had more than one bridesmaid but no MOH? Did people think it was weird? If I don’t pick one as a maid of honor, would anyone really even notice or care? I figured a couple of pros to this would be that no one would feel pressured or obligated to do a speech at the reception (unless they wanted to of course), and they could all handle the bridal shower and bachelorette party planning together, rather than one person feeling like they had to take it all on alone. I would love to hear everyone’s thoughts on this idea!! Thanks!!
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I haven’t officially labeled anyone yet either… but I’ve found that if someone isn’t “in charge” then you end up “in charge” or nothing happens. You might just have to take that extra step to say “X is in charge of the shower, Y is in charge of the bachlorette….”
I just hate picking favorites, which is what Maid of Honor feels like to me. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor in one of the girls wedding’s before so she’s kind of assumed the position. So now I’m struggling with if I’m going to label her as such or not. It’s just tough because I’ve known 2 of the other girls longer, and 3 of the other girls are phsyically closer to where I live now and are able to help out with random crafts and things. And 1 girl I spend way more actual time with because we share the same group of friends that regularly gets together + lives closest to me, but I’ve known her the shortest amount of time.
Post # 3
How about naming all of them Maid/Matron of Honor instead? I mean, it really is just a silly title if you think about it. Plus if they’ve all been good friends and will all contribute to the planning, they all deserve it.
Post # 4
Not weird at all!! I had 3 bridesmaids and no Maid/Matron of Honor. I didn’t want to differentiate one as the “better friend”, and they all helped out equally. Same goes for my DH who had 5 groomsmen but no best man. when the time came for bachelor/ette parties we each had a friend who stepped up and said they wanted to take the lead on planning and the others helped out. It worked perfectly for us.
Post # 5
No but you do need to decide who would be the last person walking down the aisle.
Post # 6
I had 3 bridesmaids and no Maid/Matron of Honor. I just delegated “responsibilities” to each – one stood next to me and held my bouquet and did the shower, one did the speech and the bachlorette, the other was the witness on the marriage certificate. It was all good 🙂
Post # 7
We have 3 on each side and are not choosing a Maid/Matron of Honor or best man either. It might be a little more strange to have a best man and no Maid/Matron of Honor, but really, I think it’s fine. People might notice for about a second, and then not really care. If anyone asks you about it, you can just say “I love them all and couldn’t choose!” I don’t think grown adults should be forced to choose a “bestest friend” if there’s not a natural choice.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2016 - State Park
I’m having FI’s two sisters and his sister in law as bridesmaids. I haven’t picked a Maid/Matron of Honor yet, and I don’t know if I will. I don’t think its weird.
Post # 9
I didn’t choose one and it worked out totally fine. I didn’t have much responsibility for my Bridesmaid or Best Man (very small bachelorette, shower planned largely by older women in my family) so it didn’t create any issues of “who is in charge”.
Post # 10
my bff is naming all of us Maid/Matron of Honor because she can’t pick one because we are all good friends which is understandable. If you only want Bridesmaid or Best Man to avoid picking thats cool. MoH Bridesmaid or Best Man either way they will be in the wedding.
Post # 11
I like this plan. Just say they are your maids of honor… however you still then have to pick someone to sign the marriage license.
Luckily I have a sister and named her Maid/Matron of Honor and I had a rainbow wedding so each maid wore their favorite color dress and the order sorted itself out. 🙂
Post # 12
Thank you all for your responses! I think I have the order figured out based on which groomsmen I want them to walk with. And I like the idea of delegating tasks to each of the girls, so that they all still feel ownership of something. 🙂 They all get along well with each other and are pretty easy-going, so I’m not too worried about them getting jealous of each other’s tasks or anything like that. I kind of wish we didn’t have a best man so that it would be a little less weird if I don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor, but the best man is my fiance’s brother, and my fiance was the best man in his wedding 6 months ago. So it was sort of expected by his family…but I’m sure it will be ok and I’m just overthinking everything. You guys have helped me decide that their titles are really not a big deal, and if I have to explain it, I’ll take goblueca’s advice!! 🙂
Post # 13
What tasks are you assigning your BMs?
Anyway, I agree with the others 3 BMs and no Maid/Matron of Honor isnt weird at all. No one will notice, but likely assume the one standing closest to you is. Since Fiance will have a Bridesmaid or Best Man and two Groomsmen your program or chalkboard may not have even lines if you were planning to do that.
Post # 14
I didnt have a Maid/Matron of Honor. I only had two bridesmaids, and I knew if I picked one of them then the other would be upset, so I just didnt want to deal with it.
Post # 15
my best friends of 10+ years are twins. Also two sisters i adore but who are younger, still in school and couldnt ‘take charge’ or help plan much. So i have a little dilemma with that. Im also hoping i could possibly get away with no Maid/Matron of Honor. And also Fiance sister in law has been saying shes so excited to finally have a sister and loves me so much and wants to help with the wedding and i get along with her quite well.. Not sure if i should ask her also…