Post # 1
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
Would it be wrong to ask my FMIL to pick up my Mum on the way to the hospital when I am in labour? (not pregnant this is for future reference 🙂 )
See my Mum can’t drive and the buses to the hopital take over an hour and a half and don’t run at night. Now if OH’s family are going to be there to see the baby straight after it’s birth I want my Mum to be there too. I don’t want her to miss out.
OH basically said that it’s her fault for not driving and she can just get a bus/taxi in to see us but what if we have the baby at night and I know she can’t afford a taxi to go that far. He also said it’s not fair to ask his Mum to go and get her.
I’m sure FMIL would be happy to accept- I know she would understand that I want my Mum there and she is on the route to the hospital.
Would you ask your FMIL? Or would it be awkward? Anything like this happned to you guys where one of your parents couldnt be there to meet the baby.
(Sorry if this is in the wrong section, couldn’t think where else to put it!)
Post # 2
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
Jeo4500: no it’s not awkward! You guys are like family now, and it’s a joyful occasion! I’m sure she will be happy to do so.
Post # 3
Member
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Jeo4500: Broach the subject with your MIL the next time you talk with her. I don’t think you have the right to demand it but you can request it and see what she says.
Also, you could offer to pay for your mom’s taxi since it will be dropping her off at the hospital anyway and you can ask someone to take the money or card to the car to settle the bill and escort your mom back to the delivery room.
Post # 4
Member
444 posts
Helper bee
If they have enough of a relationship, I think it would be totally fine. It will be such an exciting moment for both of them that your MIL would probably not even mind.
Post # 5
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
This a huge “it depends”. I can totally seeing my SIL requesting that, but it not being reasonable at all for me to ask.First, how close is your mom to you FMIL? If they know each other reasonably well, it is way more acceptable than if they’ve only met a handful of times. Second, how on the way/out of the way is your mom? If you FMIL is driving past your house to get to the hospital, or it is 10-15 minutes out of the way it is one thing, an hour is totally different.
Post # 6
Member
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
Your OH comes across as hugely unsupportive. I hope he’s not expecting free babysitting in future if he is prepared to deny your mother the pleasure of her first moments as a grandparent on the grounds that “it’s her fault she can’t drive”.
Of course you should ask your FMIL. The worst she can do is say no!
Post # 7
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
beachbride1216: I would never demand it, that is totally rude! But if she couldn’t I think I would pay the taxi fare.
Pollywog: If my Mum is still where she lives now then it takes about 5 minutes to get to her house from the motorway so it’s not a massive detour. If she gets her wish and moves closer to us then she will be closer to FMIL so it’ll probably be easier to get her!
Steampunkbride: I think he thinks that if she wants to be there it is her responsibility to get there not his Mums which I can see making some sort of sense, somehow.
I think I will ask her, I’m sure she won’t mind and she might like someone to talk to whilst waiting in the hospital!
Post # 8
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
Doesn’t sound like a huge inconvenience, so I would ask. My mom and MIL are only cordial, but I think they would do this for each other under your circumstances.
Post # 9
Member
45649 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Jeo4500: If I were your FMIL, I woldn’t mind at all.
Post # 10
Member
3378 posts
Sugar bee
I would say that as long as it’s not out of the way, it’s fine. Your mother has just as much of a right to be there as your MIL (if not more – after all, it’s her baby who’s in labor), and if you MIL is a nice person, I would expect she’d understand that (in my opinion, it would be super selfish to say “Well, she’s on my way, but it’s not my responsibility – she can pay for a cab.”).
Post # 11
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
I think once you are pregnant it’s totally ok to ask your MIL. I wouldn’t ask yet because you aren’t pregnant and you also said your mom wants to move closer to you so it seems like a moot point for now.
I think your DH is being kind of a jerk. With the attitude he has I’d tell him that if your mother isn’t at the hospital for/after the birth then his mother certainly won’t be either. He’s not being very respectful to you or your mother.
Post # 12
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
Even if your mum can afford a taxi ride and there are a myriad of busses around the time you end up at the hospital, I still feel that you should request your FMIL if she can pick up your mum on the way IF they both have a good relationship with each other. If they hate each other then obviously no and you should compensate your mum.
It’s a family thing in my mind. They are both going to be grandmas. I don’t see why they can’t travel together and help each other out. They are already family so to speak. They will probably enjoy talking about their newly minted status on the way there.
Post # 13
Member
3729 posts
Sugar bee
Jeo4500: Then it is absolutely fine to ask! I would have no problem and would expect that my MIL or mom would gladly do it for anyone.
Post # 14
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
I think it’s fine to ask, but a bit strange. I wouldn’t broach anything though, or worry about it until I was pregnant. I mean what if your mum lives next door by then or something? Your mum getting to the hospital is easily sorted so it’s not really something you should worry about ahead of time.
Post # 15
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
Jeez, what’s up with your husband? I agree with a PP that he does sound very unsupportive.
