(Closed) Would it bother you if sister (or anyone) invited themselve over without notice?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

It depends on who it is. Family I don’t care but friends I like to tidy up too

Post # 3
6149 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
carmens :  Well it would kind of bother me, what if I had no pants on in my house. Also, I would like if people came over because its rare that people do. Answer the door in your underwear a few times and she might get the hint.

Post # 4
246 posts
Helper bee

My Future In-Laws do this and it drives me up a wall!

Post # 5
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Hahaha.  This made me smile because I am the same!  I hate not having notice.  Except this is where we differ…my sister is totally fine.  She won’t judge me for the condition of my house because she’s seen me ocd about having a clean apt and at times where life is insane and everything is everywhere but where it belongs.  And I’ve seen the same of her.  Anybody besides her though – it would stress me out!  I guess it’s because what my mom used to do, too, before anyone came over!  So it’s ingrained since childhood!


Post # 6
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I wouldn’t really care in a situation like this one, where you already have plans to spend the evening together anyway.

My sister just came to visit the weekend after we moved. Boxes everywhere. Oh well, it’s family.

It would bother me more if I had plans to spend a relaxing evening with my husband.

Post # 7
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Everyone knows not to do this with me, family included. I don’t care who it is I think its incredibly rude and unacceptable to pop up at someones home. I’ll even take a 30 minute heads up but randomly stopping by without notice is a NO. I’ve actually stood and watched someone through the peephole while they repeatedly rang the bell. Some people have to learn the hard way. 

Post # 8
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

In DH’s family it is normal for drop ins so long as you call to say you’re on your way…and a ‘standing invitation’ has been previously issued. I personally don’t like that. When I’m at home I am usually in my PJ’s and unshowered with dishes scattered everywhere…I can’t even be bothered closing the bathroom door to pee. Plus I don’t normally keep a lot of food in the house…so entertaining people takes planning. Fortunatly, I have had very few ‘drop ins’…but that could also have something to do with the fact I’ve issued no standing invitations to people either…and DH has subtly spread the word I’m ‘weird’ about it.

The only person allowed to drop by whenever is DH’s Godmother. She even has her own key…but she is a special circumstance and I don’t care if she sees me in my PJ’s or peeing with the door open…and she has the common decency to not drop by around meal times or when she knows someone isn’t home.

Post # 9
323 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Family and close friends, no. Yes, I get that you want to tidy up. I am the same way, but really isnt a biggie. 

Post # 10
7112 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think 

View original reply
snowflake8 : has a good litmus test. If I’m comfotable peeing in front of said person, they are welcome to come over without notice. 

Post # 11
9443 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Yes, it would bother me, no matter who it is. I liked to be given notice that someone is coming over. Even if it’s my best friend. It would seriously stress me out if people thought they could drop by at any time. I feel like I’d always be on edge!

Post # 12
2527 posts
Sugar bee

My sister?? Never an issue. She can show up at any time of day or night whether I am home or not. If it’s a wreck, that hussy better clean it. Anyone else needs to call. 

Post # 13
3090 posts
Sugar bee

Absolutely.  I’m an introvert who needs a lot of down-time to recharge and I don’t like impromptu visitors.  

Fortunately, my sisters live about 2,000 mi away so they won’t be popping in randomly on a Friday night!

Post # 14
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

The degree of my discomfort varies by relationship, but for the most part, I realllyyyy prefer notice.

I am very introverted, very type-A, and a dog owner. This means that 1) I LOVE (and require) “me” time to recharge between social obligations. Being at home alone is literally my idea of a good time, and I have to kind of get into the state of mind to socialize, even if it’s with my sister who is my best friend. 2) My type-A personality makes it difficult for me to not have anxiety over random visitors – I hate when people come over to a dirty house! and 3) my dog makes it impossible to keep things clean for more than a day lol

My sister does drop in occasionally and she’s the one who I am bothered by that the least – other than that, no one in my life really does that so I guess I lucked out!

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