Post # 1
My sister has a habit of inviting herself over to my place last minute. She doesn’t do it all the time, but it’s happened enough times that I’m a bit annoyed. Granted, we are close and we hang out alot, but I would at least like some notice if she plans on coming by. I’m at work and she’s off today, and I just got a text saying “going over to your place after my appointment since it’s close by. Buzz me in please!” I called her and apparently her plan is since we were going out to dinner with friends tonight, she’ll go to my place and I”ll meet her there after work, and we’ll drive together. I couldn’t tell her I’m annoyed because I’m sitting in my office with other people and don’t have a minute to step out.
What’ really bugging me is my place is currently a giant mess, as I live in a tiny apartment and am currently doing a mass closet cleanout. If I know she (or anyone for that matter) is coming over I’ll do quick tiday. I never get to do this with her though and I HATE having people in my apartment when it’s so messy. We’ve talked about this before and she doesn’t get why it bothers me. She takes it as me not wanting her over – talk about missing the point. I’d LOVE to have you over – just give me some notice! Would this bother anybody else? Am I just being weird?
Post # 2
It depends on who it is. Family I don’t care but friends I like to tidy up too
Post # 3
Well it would kind of bother me, what if I had no pants on in my house. Also, I would like if people came over because its rare that people do. Answer the door in your underwear a few times and she might get the hint.
Post # 4
My Future In-Laws do this and it drives me up a wall!
Post # 5
Hahaha. This made me smile because I am the same! I hate not having notice. Except this is where we differ…my sister is totally fine. She won’t judge me for the condition of my house because she’s seen me ocd about having a clean apt and at times where life is insane and everything is everywhere but where it belongs. And I’ve seen the same of her. Anybody besides her though – it would stress me out! I guess it’s because what my mom used to do, too, before anyone came over! So it’s ingrained since childhood!
Post # 6
I wouldn’t really care in a situation like this one, where you already have plans to spend the evening together anyway.
My sister just came to visit the weekend after we moved. Boxes everywhere. Oh well, it’s family.
It would bother me more if I had plans to spend a relaxing evening with my husband.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Everyone knows not to do this with me, family included. I don’t care who it is I think its incredibly rude and unacceptable to pop up at someones home. I’ll even take a 30 minute heads up but randomly stopping by without notice is a NO. I’ve actually stood and watched someone through the peephole while they repeatedly rang the bell. Some people have to learn the hard way.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
In DH’s family it is normal for drop ins so long as you call to say you’re on your way…and a ‘standing invitation’ has been previously issued. I personally don’t like that. When I’m at home I am usually in my PJ’s and unshowered with dishes scattered everywhere…I can’t even be bothered closing the bathroom door to pee. Plus I don’t normally keep a lot of food in the house…so entertaining people takes planning. Fortunatly, I have had very few ‘drop ins’…but that could also have something to do with the fact I’ve issued no standing invitations to people either…and DH has subtly spread the word I’m ‘weird’ about it.
The only person allowed to drop by whenever is DH’s Godmother. She even has her own key…but she is a special circumstance and I don’t care if she sees me in my PJ’s or peeing with the door open…and she has the common decency to not drop by around meal times or when she knows someone isn’t home.
Post # 9
Family and close friends, no. Yes, I get that you want to tidy up. I am the same way, but really isnt a biggie.
Post # 10
I think snowflake8 :
has a good litmus test. If I’m comfotable peeing in front of said person, they are welcome to come over without notice.
Post # 11
Yes, it would bother me, no matter who it is. I liked to be given notice that someone is coming over. Even if it’s my best friend. It would seriously stress me out if people thought they could drop by at any time. I feel like I’d always be on edge!
Post # 12
My sister?? Never an issue. She can show up at any time of day or night whether I am home or not. If it’s a wreck, that hussy better clean it. Anyone else needs to call.
Post # 13
Absolutely. I’m an introvert who needs a lot of down-time to recharge and I don’t like impromptu visitors.
Fortunately, my sisters live about 2,000 mi away so they won’t be popping in randomly on a Friday night!
Post # 14
The degree of my discomfort varies by relationship, but for the most part, I realllyyyy prefer notice.
I am very introverted, very type-A, and a dog owner. This means that 1) I LOVE (and require) “me” time to recharge between social obligations. Being at home alone is literally my idea of a good time, and I have to kind of get into the state of mind to socialize, even if it’s with my sister who is my best friend. 2) My type-A personality makes it difficult for me to not have anxiety over random visitors – I hate when people come over to a dirty house! and 3) my dog makes it impossible to keep things clean for more than a day lol
My sister does drop in occasionally and she’s the one who I am bothered by that the least – other than that, no one in my life really does that so I guess I lucked out!
Post # 15
I’m the same type and maybe that’s why it bugs me. The other reason it bugs me is because she does tend to comment on the tidyness level of my place. She is much more organized than I am.
Also…funny update…our friend Amy was originally taking the train to my place and catching a ride with me anyway. My plan had been to meet Amy outside my apartment. Now since my sister is coming, and she said she needs extra time to get ready, if Amy arrives and sister isn’t finished getting ready I sort of have no choice but to let Amy come up. Ugh sisters…she’s lucky I love her! I guess this teaches me to always have my place “guest ready” haha!