(Closed) Would it bother you if your FI was into porn?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you be bothered if your FI liked to look at porn?
    Absolutely!! Why would he need porn when he has me? : (47 votes)
    26 %
    Not at all, porn is just a fantasy. : (15 votes)
    8 %
    Maybe, if it were to interfere with our relationship and he prefered it over me. : (92 votes)
    51 %
    No, I like porn too! : (28 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    We have the communication thing down, and i’ve totally tried to explain to him why it pisses me off (i did it without any yelling or screaming, so it’s not like i didn’t get my point across), and he still doesn’t get it. He just says I know your unhappy with how you look, but there’s times when your not around (not always true, i just got to the point where i was too pissed to say anything else), and i like looking at it, and I don’t see the problem. It’s not like i’m having sex with other women, which no, he isn’t. And he has the world’s worst schedule. He works at night, so it’s 9 pm here and he just left for work. And then he comes home, stays up for an hour or two, sleeps, wakes up, and we have no time to ourselves. His schedule really sucks, and ironically the promotion he got about a year ago is known for causing divorces!! not so awesome, and no i don’t think we’re headed there, but i don’t exactly like hearing that.

    so since he knows how i feel about it, i feel like im at a dead end for anything else i can really do. he just doesn’t get it. I guess it’s one of those things I just have to let go, because I dunno what else to do!

    as far as the distance learning thing, sounds great, but yea, his schedule doesn’t allow for it.

    Post # 63
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I have a different perspective on this…(and I apologize in advance because although some of you are going to think this is hilarious, some are going to think it’s gross…) my Fiance is kind of in the porn industry, and I work with/for him, so I guess I kind of am too!

    It’s not quite as bad as it sounds–he doesn’t make porno movies with real people. He owns a video game company that makes "the world’s first action adventure porno video game." The game is comical, and very video-game-ish, but has full on sex also. 

    SO, this has meant that the company has to deal quite a bit with the porn biz. We’ve gone to lots of porno conferences, our company has been in Penthouse and some other smaller magazines, and there is lots and lots of porn looked at at the office for research, haha. So I don’t (and it doesn’t seem like the Fiance does anymore either) think of porn in the same way. It’s almost like it’s funny now, and trust me, the company is all guys besides me, and while yea, they watch porn, they do NOT think that those girls are hotter than their girlfriends/fiances/whoever. They like watching it without thinking about it, but if you ask a guy, most of them will probably tell you, yep, those girls are gross. And, if it helps at all, most of them are really not good looking in person. Most of them are the kind of girls who only look good because of the two inches of foundation/great lighting/photoshopping that goes on for their movies and photo shoots. 

    So, I guess the conclusion to this is that it doesn’t bother me–and neither do strip clubs, etc. For most guys, it’s a thing they watch and enjoy, but do no think of it as real life and don’t wish their girl was like these girls, etc etc. In fact, they’re happy their girl is not like these girls. Guys want us to be "all theirs," not everybody’s, if you know what I mean! Of course, if porn/strip clubs/whatever affected your relationship because the guy took it too seriously, that would be a very different story. 

    I understand both sides of this issue, but personally, I do not think porn is a big deal for a guy to watch occasionally.

    Post # 64
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    GretaB, that’s awesome to hear that! I think guys who work with you would be so desensitized to porn anyways from being around it. Probably helps that they know what goes into making those girls look "attractive"!

    I wish all guys knew how much work/makeup it took to make them look like that! It would help those of us with low self-esteem for sure, lol.

     Since my husband and I had our fun little chat about him watching porn and all that, I know I just need to quit being a jealous b*tch, it’s just hard! I’ve met/seen pics of his ex’s and they are all these tiny cute girls, and I’m like damn, I’m a size 16, not feeling so hot, lol.

    Post # 65
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    so we’ve established i’ve got low self esteem, whatever, no big deal, but here’s what kills me! He left a freaking window on the computer open with porn. Now that’s just crossing a line. she’s this tiny little hot brunette, opposite of the fat blonde i am, and yea, that just angers me! WTF is wrong with guys??? like he knows i hate it, why did he leave it open…..

    i love him to death, but that’s kind of rude! This is like the only thing we really ever fight about, other than this i’m extremely happy with him. GRR!

    Thanks for letting me vent….

    Post # 66
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I’m so glad that i came across this topic. I don’t think there is anything wrong if my Fiance watches porn. There’s been times where I felt like I should be bothered, or put my foot down…but the truth of it is that it just doesn’t bother me.  We have actually watched a few together, and I find it intriguing. My Fiance started watching it before we even dated, its what they did to pass the time on his deployment (he’s in the Navy).  It’s funny because sometimes, he’ll tell me, Oh I wanna try this position on you I saw in this movie… I like the idea that’s he’s watching it thinking about us.  I was very timid before, and porn allows me to be a little bit more open with things.  As with Greta, strip clubs don’t bother me either, I’ve been to a couple with some friends, we were curious and wanted to check them out.  Now if he became obssesed with it, then yes I would have a problem with it. 

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