(Closed) Would it bother you?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would it bother you if your SO went out for drinks with his coworkers that are ALL the opposite gend
    No : (37 votes)
    28 %
    Yes : (74 votes)
    56 %
    Not sure : (20 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5262 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yeah, it would bother me besides the occasional special occasion. And I trust R completely – but I don’t like the thought of girls flirting with him when I’m not there! I know nothing would happen, and that he wouldn’t even flirt back, but it just rubs me the wrong way. I wouldn’t tell him not to do it, but I’d let him know it made me feel uncomfortable. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    392 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I said not sure, when in reality i meant other…..ive met most of my husbands female coworkers, and lemme tell ya, he works for a freight company! i have no fear! lol. but its part of trusting the other person. it’d make me uncomfortable, but if they were in a public place, i’d feel way better about it!

    Post # 5
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Nope, honestly, it wouldn’t bother me at all. Fiance is 34 years old, he is capable of having a drink with a woman, even flirting with a woman, without going too far. I wouldn’t have felt this way when I was younger and dated guys that fell for pretty much any pretty girl who flirted with him, but I’m luckily past that.

    EDIT: On the flip side, I would be INCENSED if Fiance ever objected to me having a drink with a male friend or co-worker. Our relationship is entirely built on our respect for eachother, and our respect is built on the fact that we are independent people and handle ourselves well in the world. So, we are really different than most couples, in that sense.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Well, I’m a little torn on this issue. If they were girls that I’d never met, didn’t know their histories, etc, it would bother me. But I’ll be the first to admit that I’m TOTALLY the jealous type.

    However, on the flip side, Mr. KM goes out and has a drink with one of his female friends (who actually had a huge crush on him and got mad when we started dating) and it doesn’t bother me at all. Not even a little bit. So I guess in theory, yes, it would bother me a little bit but in practice he knows his boundaries.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1981 posts
    Buzzing bee

    This actually happened to me too, at FI’s job last summer. He was the only guy and on their last day (it was a temp program) they all went to some girl’s apartment and he went over to drink with them… while I was sick.

    Ooooh, did he hear it on that one. I was not ok with the idea of him drinking around ladies… most girls just don’t know their limits!

    Wow, didn’t think I’d have to think about that again… just thinking about it makes me sooooo angry!

    Post # 8
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t think it would bother me, because they’re co-workers. I’m a big believer in maintaining good relationships at work and if that means having a drink occasionally with the group then so be it. I’d trust Darling Husband to have one or two, thank the ladies for their company, wish them a good night, and come home to me 🙂  To be honest I think going out with a group of men could lead to more trouble – they can really egg each other on to get into some silly situations. Likewise with a mixed group. If it’s all women there’s unlikely to be much s*xual tension between the members, they call it “ladies night” for a reason and I don’t think you have to worry 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I would have an issue with him having drinks with other women only because of his career & the town he lives in (its a tiny town in Kentucky!). He just has to say what he does and these women are on him like a moth to a flame. Seriously… Sigh. I can’t wait to put a ring on HIS finger 🙂 lol

    Post # 10
    Member
    1110 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2009

    with limitations its okay. Is there a reason why youre not invited, you might just get along well with all of his coworkers and since hes the ONLY guy they may not mind?

    Post # 11
    Member
    1426 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    It wouldn’t bother me at all.  I work with all men and go out for drinks with them all the time.  My Fi doesn’t care (though it helps that we work together so he knows all these people).  I trust him and he trusts me.  Even if there were women throwing themselves at him, I know that he would not be interested, and would be seriously annoyed at them for behaving like that.

    Post # 12
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I think I’m old-fashioned in this area, because I just think that when you’re married, there are certain things you don’t do, and going out with a bunch of women is one of them. For me, it would have nothing to do with not trusting my husband, because I do with all my heart, but I just don’t think it’s appropriate for a married man to grab drinks with a bunch of women. In the same way, I wouldn’t go out with a group of guys, because I don’t think that would be appropriate.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2207 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    @ DecemberBride

    Why isn’t it appropriate?

    Post # 14
    Member
    1569 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1996

    I have learned from reading many threads on WB that I am in the minority here, but it would never occur to me to feel any level of discomfort about FI’s interaction with women – his ex-girlfriends included, not that that’s relevant to this thread. I don’t mean to impugn anyone else’s relationship when I say this, but to us, trust is an all-or-nothing deal. I just can’t even grasp being worried that “something” would happen if he got drunk with other women. He just wouldn’t, and that simply is all there is to it. I’m his world and I know that. What else matters in a question like this one?

    Maybe this is easy for us because we were long-distance for 2.5 years in which he went out to bars and parties a lot and was propositioned by women A LOT. For the few months he was still in college, it seemed like he called me every other week laughing about some sorority girl who tried to take him home. I loved hearing about it, I just laughed and felt really lucky to have sole claim to a guy that so many ladies wanted! Same deal when his ex-girlfriend directly tried to get him to take her back; I just felt kind of sorry for her since, at the end of the day, I know who he’s waking up next to.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2465 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    it might bother me if fi didn’t invite me to come or didn’t want me to join, because we generally socialize with coworkers together (well, my coworkers–he’s not friends with his). but from a different perspective, one of my best friends from work (and very close friends in general) is a married guy, and he has often socialized with me and other female coworkers (the juinior staff in my office is mostly women) with and without his wife, including business trips where we go to a bar for a drink or two at the end of the day. we’re good friends with his wife too though–and maybe that’s the difference –she knows us female coworkers

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