- Miss Fish
- 10 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
For generations, the women in my family have gotten knocked up at age 19, had a shotgun wedding a few months later, and given birth at age 20. This is pretty evident in the fact that I’m 19, my mother is 39, my grandmother is 59, my great-grandmother would be 79, and my great-great grandmother would be 99. Yeah, that’s right. Five generations. Love wasn’t necessarily a big part of most of these relationships, especially not my mother’s.
I got engaged on Christmas eve, and guess what? I’m totally NOT pregnant. In fact, we’ve been dating for 4 years and plan to be engaged for another 3 and a half until I graduate from college. I’ve been madly in love with my future husband for a very long time, and I can’t wait to spend my life with him.
But is she happy for me? No. She’s concerned for me. She doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she did. She wants me to travel. She doesn’t want me to feel “tied down.” She wants me to know that my relationship is “rare” and that “most guys aren’t so willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy.” Like that’s a BAD thing?? I put up with all of these explanations for a good hour or so, and I calmly explained that we had already talked about all of the concerns she was bringing up, and we really feel that marriage is the best plan for us.
THEN she started to piss me off. She told me how he acted “childish” when he called and invited her and my grandmother to lunch to talk to them, because he was “purposely excluding my dad and trying to start problems.” I talked to him about it. He was actually planning on talking to the women in my family about how he was going to treat me like a princess, and it’s hard to discuss all the things men do wrong when one of the biggest culprits is sitting in the room. He was also planning on inviting my dad to dinner one on one, but my mom jumped down his throat before he could explain himself.
AND THEN she told me how offended she was that she wasn’t there when he proposed. He asked me to marry him at his family’s christmas party as a “welcome to the family”- NOT as a way to exclude them. I agree that he should have extended an invitation, but as he put it “I was so concerned with surprising you that everything else slipped my mind.” He feels TERRIBLE about it and is going to call her in the morning to appologise.
So my question is, if she has problems with the way he proposed, why would she bring it up with me? It’s not like I had anything to do with it!!! Because now I’m having a really hard time remembering my excitement. Instead I’m left with this crappy feeling inside that pretty much sums up my life: No matter how hard I try, no matter how well I do in school or in life, and no matter how happy I am, I will NEVER be good enough.
-END OF VENT-