Post # 1
Okay so I’m fried challenged as is my fiance we don’t have many friends and the one we do have are in the wedding maybe. I have my one and only childhood (she was 4 I was 5) BFF as my Maid/Matron of Honor and than I asked my fiances sister to be a bridesmaid. Well My fiance has a Groomsman from his work and he has been trying to call an old best friend of his to be the best man. The only problem is this guy is in the navy so he might be on a ship in the middle of no where. So my question is….If this navy guy can not attend would it look stupid having one guy on his side and 2 girls on my side? I would rather unask his sister than have it look stupid and I don’t want a stand in guy that my fiance barely knows and I told him that if the guy can’t come to pick someone else out from his work cause I think it might look stupid if the person isn’t in a military uniform because both Michael and his single groomsman are Marine and I think it would look best with a uniform than having 2 uniforms and some stupid man in tux. I don’t know does this sound stupid. Maybe it is stupid. I just think it would throw everything off. If the guy doesn’t show can I unask his sister?
Post # 3
I think that it is definitely difficult to have an uneven number of attendants on each side. I struggled with that problem myself, because both my fiance and I have co-ed friends, which meant that we were going to have an uneven number of guys to girls.
Still, we ultimately decided that what matters most is who we ask, because your bridal/groom party should include people that are important and special to each of you – people that you want to be part of your day. Nowadays, "nonconventional" groom/bridal parties are seen many times. It comes down to what you and your fiance want most.
In the instance that you really want an even number, either consider if you have a male relative he could ask, or you could talk to your fiance about whether or not his sister would be offended about you wanting to "unask" her. If so, consider other special roles that his sister could play in the ceremony so that you can still have an even number, but not hurt her feelings.
In the end, it won’t be as much of an issue as you think. Just remember that your wedding day is about celebrating your love for each other. Do what makes you happy!
Post # 4
I don’t think that it will look stupid in the least! People will just observe that you are being a kind, caring person and having people that mean something to both of you stand up with you on your wedding day. On top of this, don’t think about looking stupid, but how you’ll feel and how your future sister in law will feel if she is unasked. Is that worth it to counter the thought of a very select few that MAY think that things look uneven? Probably not.
Post # 5
i agree with meganmp1. i don’t think it would look bad at all to have an uneven number of attendants. if you search this board, you’ll find other brides with the same concern and some very good suggestions on how to the recessional in this situation. there’s no reason why you have to do anything a particular way just because it’s "tradition." after all, it only became a tradition after someone did it for the first time.
Post # 6
Please don’t un-ask her to be in your wedding! I know someone who unasked a groomsmen when the bridesmaid dropped out, and I thought it was really rude. It’s basically telling them, "Symmatry and looking good in photos is more important than my friendship with you"
Post # 7
Don’t worry about it! I agree that what matters is the friendship, not the even numbers. Besides, a good photographer can make any number of people into a great group shot, regardless of number.
At my best friend’s wedding there was an "extra" groomsman becuase the couple just has more male friends than female. The pictures came out great, and for the recessional the last maid just got two groomsmen! It actually made for an adorable picture; her strutting down the asile with a boy on each arm.
Post # 8
I just want to reiterate the other comments. It won’t look stupid at all. We had 2 and 3. It looked fine. No one had a problem with it. I think what looks more stupid is having a large group of acquaintances just to have an even amount of attendants. Or the people who decide they want 10 bridesmaids, so they ask everyone they know just to get that many people. I think you could have, one on each, 10, or none. I just think its important to have the people you most care about. As for the uniform/tux issue – who cares? aren’t they like, navy or something? or are they black? the guy who will wear the tux can get that color, and really he won’t stand out. Oh – and please don’t un-ask the Future Sister-In-Law. Unless you know she doesn’t want to do it anyway. But really, I think siblings should be a part of this, and you also don’t want to enter into the family on a bad note.