- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2015
Oops double post
Oops double post
I lost my husband in 2001.
It forced me to grow up and learn who I was as a woman and learn how to make my own path and friends and create my own story that doesn’t require validation by anyone else.
It’s 2015 and I’m about to move forward in a relationship that I never ever expected to have again.
You don’t have to have a significant other or soulmate to be happy, healthy and whole.
Life is meant to be lived with people you love, that doesn’t necessarily mean romantic love. Your life brings love to many people, whether you see it or not. Some people are meant to be single, to accomplish something in this world, in this life, that has nothing to do with romantic love. Thinking of life without my Fiance is heartbreaking, yes, but there is so much love and life to give and take, I couldn’t stop until it was my natural time.
While you may not feel like this is suicide ideation, it is not a harmless question. There are people in this world everyday who are contemplating taking action on this. It is very real.
So, this isn’t so much to this bee, as it is to anyone who needs to read it:
Please know that even if you feel no one would miss you, people would. I wish you the ability to learn how to love yourself from within, regardless of whether that love is reciprocated by a romantic interest. You’re right, happiness isn’t guaranteed or stable, and it is really hard work. And life does really suck sometimes (and sometimes, for a really long time). You are not alone in your feelings. Please find help. Again, this is just for anyone who needs to read this. You are worthy. I’ve lost two people I love to suicide, so I feel a need to say to you what I would have said to them. YOU DO MATTER.
PUH LEASE – I could sooo live without it because my life is so fulfilling otherwise (between my children, aspirations to travel and see the world, God, the fact that I am healthy with a roof over my head, so much food I wanna try, so many things I wanna do and I could go on and on). For me, a husband is far from the end all be all. We are not all going to find romantic love and that’s okay. You gotta redefine your purpose aside from that (although it IS a beautiful thing as well).
You have the power to make yourself happy.
No one outside of you can give that to you.
I don’t have anything very different to say, but I will echo the previous posters: life is more than just romantic love. Sharing it with someone you love is a great thing, but that doesn’t need to be a husband or wife. Friends, family, dog, cat, teacup pig, mother nature…the possibilities are endless and wonderful.
I am so sorry that you are feeling depresed and overwhelmed right now. Please please please seek out a counselor or therapist or someone to talk to….take care of yourself bee!
Also uh, ther are people who are asexual and/or aromantic (not interested in sexual and/or romantic relationships), and it’s pretty crappy of you to suggest that their lives are miserable or missing something, or less worth living or not how life is “”meant”” to be lived.
I would have no problem living a life without love of a partner. I would try and find good friends and hold on to the friends I already have. I always thought that I would be single and was totally okay with that!
Romantic love is great, but it is not the be-all end-all of happiness – there are so many ways to have a happy, fulfilling life without a romantic partner. I firmly believe the happiest people are those who are complete in themselves. I love DH, but his not my “other half.” I am a whole person all by myself.
You can still have amazing adventures and experiences without an SO. I often travel with two of my best friends, both of which are single guys who are living life to the fullest. They’re not going to wait around for a romantic partner – if they find one, great, if not, they’re still finding value in life itself and all that it offers.
There is no certainty of the absence of love except in the event you commit suicide. There is no chance of anything if you’re dead.
While I understand having moments where life feels oppressive and like nothing will change, I can’t count the times I’ve felt that before, yet here I am and happier than I’ve ever been.
Christ sustains me where all others will fail. Without my faith I am nothing. With God all things are possible.
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