Post # 1
So I have always enjoyed toys and various stimulants…but my FI has never used them. The first maybe year and a half we were having sex EVERY NIGHT! I actually still remember the very disappointing first night we didn’t have sex before bed. With that said our wedding is in Oct and our sex has slowed to maybe once a week. Just to tired and busy now that we have a crazy little boy. So I really want to bring some extra “fun” into the bedroom but I think he looks at toys as a sign that he isn’t performing well. Not sure how to introduce some more spice! Any suggestions?
Post # 3
I would tell him that it has nothing to do with him, but you thought it would be fun to try something new and exciting and that you’ve heard great things about these “items”.
Do you think he is missing out on the sex frequency as well (since it’s only about once per week)? Perhaps he’ll surprise you and take to these much more positively than you think since he’s probably missing the sex you used to have, too? Give it a try!! 🙂
Post # 4
Maybe start by introducing toys that you would use on him? So perhaps he won’t take it so much as a judgement on his performance, but rather that you are going the extra mile to please him? Then, once he’s used to that, bring in the kind that you’d enjoy more?
No clue here, but that’s probably what I’d do. If he has a favourite sexual activity, pick up a toy that will accentuate that.
Good luck! It’s always a bit tricky when people are very sensitive about this stuff.
Post # 5
start with something small and unintimidating. buy it and tell him you have a fun surprise for HIM. make it sound like you bought it to please him.
the way i introduced this to FH was we were in the “personal needs” aisle at Target and i picked up one of the vibrating cock rings and just said “oooh this might be fun” gave him a wink and threw it in the cart. he was excited to give it a try. the next time i just bought something different and told him i had a surprise for him later that night.
Post # 6
I personally would never use them, but the suggestions posted are great. Start small then work your way up until he is comfortable with the idea, but don’t bombard him with them. He has to get used to the idea first. And I would definitely do a confidence booster in explaning it is just to add to the enhancement, not meaning he is doing anything wrong, just to create a little spice and excitement.
Post # 7
Great advice! thanks ladies! maybe i’ll give him a early fathers day gift heehee.
@meowkers-Where is this aisle in target??? How have i missed this (I practically LIVE at target)
Post # 8
Target has these things? What?? I’ve missed this aisle too! LOL
Post # 9
I buy things that are useful to both of us (small finger vibe, under bed restraints, massage mitts) and introduce them to use on is first, then if he is interested, I let him use them on me … I basically provide, introduce, then leave it up to him. He is not super into toys (he is more a position-experimenter) but sometimes he will ask to use them/grab one out of the “toy box”.
Post # 10
Do what my partner did with me (i had some previous experience with toys, but not alot)
He took me out shopping one day, and casually stopped at an adult shop. At the time I was horrified….I had NEVER been into an adult shop before. LOL, its pretty funny to look back on it.
He was really playful, didn’t force me to go in, sort of said oh come on it will be fun, lets just go have a peek. We went in and came out with a pair of fuzzy hand cuffs, cute, and not at all intimidating. We have built on that from there. And I no longer feel the slightest bit intimidated.
Post # 11
Yes Target has those type of things but not extensively. It’s right next to the condoms. they also have flavored lube and other mild, toys.
Post # 12
walgreens has stuff too
toys that don’t look like a penis seemed to be wayyyy more ok to my FI-i think it helped him feel like it wasn’t something to replace him you know? so like, go for a little bullet vibe or something, not a big ol’ crazy faux phallus
Post # 13
Try and talk to him about it first, cause I know a lot of girls who offended their BFS/husbands by just showing up with toys.