Would men and women prefer a boy or a girl baby?

posted 2 weeks ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
3592 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

My fiance and I don’t want any kids, but back in my younger days when I thought I was on the fence / hadn’t quite realized I could just not have any, I always figured if I had more than one I’d like to have one of each, but if I only had one kid I couldn’t care less what sex or gender they were, and if I had multiple of the same and none of the other, I certainly wouldn’t care enough to keep trying after two or three haha 

Post # 32
Member
2016 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i didnt care either way, after a year and a half of infertility problems i just wanted to be pregnant. My husband definitely wanted a boy because he is the only boy of three sisters and wanted to continue to pass on the family last name. He was always big on wanting a boy, even if it took multiple kids to get it. 

thank god we had a boy for the first, im a definite one and done mentality when it comes to kids. Although i do look back now and think how great it would be to have a little girl sometimes, to be able to do all the cute girl things with, like my mom did with me and my sister. 

but i have come across more and more men who want a girl as thier first to spoil and make their princess. So i dont think its the norm anymore for men to automatically want a boy. 

Post # 33
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Both of us wanted a boy. I raised my brothers and almost all my friends are Male so I understand boys better. Husband was huge on his name being passed on through the Male line so a boy was his preference.

Spoilers- we got a girl. I’m at peace with it. It was more important to have a healthy baby than being stuck on a specific sex. She’s pretty cute too and we make sure she does anything with my husband that he would do with a boy. And my labour and delivery was so traumatizing to us both that we may never ever attempt to have another baby again. 

Post # 34
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Idk. With my first child, I just assumed I would have a girl. I’m a girl, so I just thought that’s what I would have.  Of course, my first child was a boy. When I became pregnant the second time, I assumed it would be a boy. I mean, obviously, I produce boys (me, pointing at my son). Of course, I had a girl. I honestly didn’t have any preference, either pregnancy… just preconceived notions on how things would be. 

Post # 35
Member
2667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with a baby boy 🙂 

This baby is both me and my husband’s first so in all honesty we just wanted a healthy baby. However, I’ve always wanted a girl more than a boy so I hope to have a daughter in the future. 

I think a huge part of it is what you envision. My family is predominately females and I’m one of two girls so I guess I just always imagined having a baby girl. I’ve also nannied three families with 3 girls, 3 girls and 2 girls so it’s just what I’m used to. I guess I had a feeling I’d have a girl because of that. So wrong! 

I think I’m general most men and women would like a healthy baby but I think it’s pretty rare to say you have NO preference on either gender. Especially if it’s your second child. 

Post # 36
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

honeybabybee :  Ugh, I hate the whole “I just want a healthy babyyyyyy”.  IMO, there is nothing wrong with having a preference, or preconceived idea of what sex you’ll have before finding out, as long as you aren’t trying to manipulate the sex in advance through science, and will love the child no matter what.  The question isn’t weather you’d rather a healthy one boy, or an unhealthy girl.  Also, unhealthy babies are also valid and loved.

I’m currently pregnant, and I really wanted a boy, dh really wanted a girl.  We are having a boy and I’m very happy, but I still would have been happy if he was a little girl.  I’m not ashamed that we both had a preference. 

 

 

Post # 37
Member
11 posts
Newbee

I always thought it would be nice to have one of each.  But of course it didn’t really matter.  I ended up having three boys…two sons passed away when they were each just a few days old.  I must say I used to get angered when I heard people preferring one sex over the other.  I would have done anything just to have a child that lived.  But now I realize my own experience made me ultra sensitive, and ultimately of course people just want a healthy baby.

Post # 38
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Like a few others have said, I’ve always liked the idea of one of each. I’ve got a son now, so a girl next would be great. However, since having my son I’ve come to really love being a ‘boy mum’ and I kind of love the idea of him having a little brother. It’s lucky I don’t have a say in it as it would make for a tricky choice!

Post # 39
Member
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

honeybabybee :  I secretly wanted a girl but my partner wanted a boy. We had a boy and he is amazing and delightful and I wouldn’t change a thing.

Post # 40
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think that’s like asking what a dad or mum’s favourite color would be. There is no one answer, some people will have a preference for boys, some girls and some generally no preference. Depends on so many things, cultural influence, whether family has heaps of boys/girls already and wanting to even it out, parent’s relationship with own parents and wanting to emulate it, parents interests- they may be sport mad and think a boy will fit with their lifestyle better or super girly and think it’s more likely that a girl will want a spa day in the future (no guarantee for either option) or they may have gone through years of infertility and miscarriages and just be so darn grateful they are pregnant that they don’t care. 

I had 2 girls, would have been happy with either but if we lived in a world where you genuinely got to pick the sex of your baby before it was created I would have chosen girl just because I grew up in a females dominated house- mum, grandma, Aunty and only had a sister and was sent to all girls school so boys are foreign creatures to me and my husband probably would have chosen a boy. After our first girl though he was the first to hope our second was also a girl and I would have been just as excited for a boy to experience something different. 

Post # 41
Member
219 posts
Helper bee

I thought I was having a boy because everyone kept saying I was haha and I thought I wanted a boy. Seemed easier and still does sometimes …but I had a girl and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I think you end up happy no matter what 🥰

Post # 42
Member
7849 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We have 3 girls. My husband and I both wanted girls. After the birth of our last people were like “well are you going to try for a boy?” And my husband was like “nope, I like my girls”

Post # 43
Hostess
3891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

honeybabybee :  I think this is subjective… we only plan to have one child.  I don’t have a preference and D.H. wants a girl, but will be happy no matter what. 

Post # 44
Member
12318 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Here’s the problem with open preferences. People have big mouths and repeat things that can be hurtful, even years later. I know someone whose mother vindictively told her that the father was always disappointed she was not a boy. Likewise, family members or friends might open up some big mouths. Why take that chance? 

In addition, it seems an insensitive thing to say in diverse company like this site where there are almost certainly people who are struggling with fertility. Not least in this is the awful history of preference, which includes killing and injury of the unwanted sex, mainly girls. 

I really could not have cared any less, but if you can’t help but have a personal preference I say keep it to yourself. 

Post # 45
Member
10036 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

My husband wanted a girl if he had a choice. He especially wanted a girl when people asked if he was disappointed he wasn’t having a boy. He still doesn’t understand why men have such low opinions of girls/women and super doesn’t get the “men want boys” thing. But he was also raised by women so maybe that colored his preference. 

I didn’t care as long as it was healthy. I know one of the bee’s above haaaates to hear that but maybe when you have to try for a long time to get pregnant you truly do no longer have a preference as long as a baby that will live comes out. 

In my experience, the men I know who wanted boys wanted them because they are toxically masculine and felt like it was some sort of weird competition to produce male heirs. Kind of like Henry The 8th. They were also all extremely phobic of appearing sensitive or feminine in anyway. 

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