- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I will just go straight to the question and if you want to read the rest you can…
In oregon you have to have two witness over the age of 18. we only have one (if you read below, you’ll see why). If one of our friends just signed that paperwork after the ceremony without actually witnessing, Is the marriage legal? I mean, there is now way for the county to check on this, so…can we do that?
a little bit of background here…
Fiance was married before, they had a large wedding and it didn’t work out. they were only married for a year and a half. I’ve never been married and I’m an only child to my mother (I have a half sister through my dad, and she’s married).
Fast forward to our wedding planning. Fiance didn’t want another big wedding, and actually, he didn’t want another wedding. He wanted to go to the courthouse, period. No reception after, no nothing. Sooo… I was okay with eloping, but no celebration? I wanted something! So we made a compromise, one that is causing tons of drama and fights.
We compromised that we would have the small reception that I wanted as long as his mother and son were the only ones present during the actual ceremony. It was basically this or nothing. I wanted a wedding, so I agreed.
I’m getting to the problem, I swear! Originally we were just going to have a county judge marry us, because it was only like $75. We are on a tight budget. When the time came to schedule a judge, none of them would do it. So we thought, okay, we will just have his mother marry us.
This is the problem. In Oregon, you have to have two witnesses over the age of 18. The photography agreed to be a witness, but we are one short if his mother officiates.
Fiance is refusing to allow another person to witness the ceremony because of the previous compromise that we made. He says that we should just have one of our friends sign the marriage license after we wed, during the cocktail hour. But I mean, I have a problem with this! I don’t think that we would be legally married. There would be photographic evidence that we only had one witness. Emotionally, I can’t handle this, I would never forget it. I don’t even care who it is! It could be the bus boy!
Not only that, but we are signing a pre-nup. What is keeping either of us from saying (in the event we split up) that the pre-nup isn’t valid because we were never married? Or is that even a problem? If you were never married than there are no assests to split? Because Oregon isn’t a common law marriage state. I can’t get over this and he is not going to change his mind, and it doesn’t seem to bother him that in having someone sign later might not make our marriage valid.
What do I do? I looked at officiants, and I did find a couple for $150. But I don’t thin he’s going to go for it. Overall, he just doesn’t want me to get my way, my way being an extra person at the ceremony! He’s operating solely off principal instead of emotion and I’m super stressed.
Thanks bees, I know this is long winded!