(Closed) Would this be rude/would it be an issue?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we consider the 18th?

    No

    Yes

  • Post # 32
    Member
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We accidently did the same thing, scheduled our wedding on a friends childs birthday.  They are totally fine with it and just plan to have the the birthday celebration the week before.  So I think you will be fine.

    Post # 33
    Member
    1213 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I wouldn’t call it rude necessarily… just a little obvious that they will not be attending. So the only reason to send them an invite is to be nice. Unless its a total kid free wedding i’d invite the kid too though just to be nice.

    Don’t pick a date for someone else, pick it for you, its gonna be your anniversary, not theres.

    Post # 34
    Member
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    It isn’t rude necessarily, but if you aren’t inviting him, what would he be doing? If he’s going to go to a birthday party with friends, go nuts. If he’d be with a babysitter at home alone, that’s kind of sucky. You shouldn’t base your decision on one person, but on the other hand, if you have options, it might be better to look into different dates.

    Post # 35
    Member
    2426 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Pick a date that works with you. If your aunt and uncle can’t make it then it is what it is. My wedding date was the best date in April for most people which happened to be the day after FIL’s birthday and 10 days before his mother’s.

    Post # 36
    Member
    1731 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    If it turns out you have to do this I would just give auntie and uncle a heads up but realize that they will probably not show up.  If I was 12 I would probably be mad my mom and dad went off to a wedding without me or left me behind unless maybe if we had a party earlier of after the wedding and they dropped my friends and I off at the movies while they went to the wedding and came back in time to pick me up and spend the rest of the day with me.

    Post # 37
    Member
    2265 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @sunshinewish15:  kinda sorta. i would be prepared for his parents to not come to the wedding, or only come to the ceremony. they’ll probably be wanting to spend the day with their son.

    Post # 38
    Member
    764 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think this is kinda funny because I have NO idea when any of my cousins’ birthdays are except one who is my age.  I definitely don’t know (or care) when my younger cousins’ bdays are.  But in response to your question- if it’s important that your aunt and uncle come, don’t do it on that day, or even call them and ask what they think.  If you don’t really care that much if they show up, go for it.  

    Post # 39
    Member
    2842 posts
    Sugar bee

    @sunshinewish15:  In that case I would ask aunty and uncle what they think about having your wedding on his birthday.

    Post # 40
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I say go for the 18th. He’s 12 and not invited to the wedding anyways why don’t you hire him and a group of his friends a babysitter and send them out for lazer tag. And as for future akwardness you said you’ve never been invited to one of his birthday parties anyways so it’s unlikely to be a problem. Get the wedding date you want.

    Post # 41
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I voted that you should consider the 18th.  I don’t think you have to account for anyone’s birthday when picking a wedding date. 

    If you do choose the 18th though, could you make an exception and invite your little cuz since it’s his birthday?  But if I were 12, I don’t know if I’d want to go to a wedding on my bday!

    Post # 42
    Member
    5879 posts
    Bee Keeper

    No date is gonna be b-day free. I’d say go for it. Do these parents hold a b-party every year for their son? If so they can respectfully decline. 

    Post # 43
    Member
    22 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I think it’s really considerate of you to take your cousin’s birthday into account, BUT if you start asking about and fretting over what date works for everyone around you, you’ll never pick a wedding day.  (Believe me! I’m six months into my engagement, and I can’t pick a wedding day because I keep getting bombarded with “But that’s my brother’s birthday/dog’s vet appointment/mom’s sister’s retirement party/ex-wife’s anniversary….”)  Pick your day based on what’s best for you and your husband-to-be, and let your wedding be the date everyone else worries about planning around.  (I love giving advice I’m no good at following!)  Good luck!!  Cool

    Post # 44
    Member
    31 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I would not say its Rude. But if the child is not invited, I think your aunty and uncle may not attend your wedding.

    Post # 45
    Member
    728 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would say that if another date (non-18th) works for you, then go with that.  But if you need to have it the 18th, don’t worry about your cousin’s birthday, and leave it to your aunt and uncle to decide if they are willing to miss their son’s birthday to attend your wedding.  It’s rare that a day will work for everyone you invite.

    Post # 46
    Member
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I personally think while it’s very nice of you to be considerate to your cousin. he is also just 12 and will get over it. His family can always do a party for him n Friday or Sunday. I would maybe just let your aunt know that this date is being considered, but you hope they would still be able to make the wedding. 

    Also look into the 1st weekend in Oct, I think it’s the 4th. 

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