- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Fiance and I cancelled our lovely Jackson Hole wedding just 7 weeks ago because it was too close with the time frame my father was given to live. I couldn’t bear the events being too close. The wedding was for July.
The plan had been to just wait until he passes; I’ve mourned/feel normal again, then plan a great vacation for the two of us and get married on that vacation. Who knows when that will be? I hate uncertainty.
Well, seems like the right thing – I have plenty of funds (there’s no wedding now) for flying home and vacation days set aside for flying home often. Seeing him should be the priority.
However, there’s this dread. Like I have to go through this horrible pain of losing parent first before our happy wedding day. The unknown is really getting to me. Like I can just be “OK” with this plan.
I was thinking what if we got married privately in Jackson anyway? Of course I wouldn’t plan it now, I’d wait to see how the other events pan out but I’d need a photographer, an officiant and a fancy dinner basically. The weather is not right for it so June or July (like originally) would be more like it. I guess trying to do this before he passes maybe. If on a weekday we could plan it last minute. Jackson is a special place to us, so I wouldn’t mind getting married there although we originally picked the destination for the guests.
However, I am NOT sure with the downgrading of it all. I mean our consolation prize was to go on this kickass two week trip somewhere. BUT due to having to fly home so often, the sooner idea would have to be downgraded to just a few nights instead. Jackson is close so we could go there any old weekend. I eloped the first time I was married, but it was so unspecial. I have a huge complex with really making this wedding right and special even though it’s just the two of us again.
We could save the kick ass trip for a belated honeymoon?
The pain of losing my father will still come. Just not sure if I want to downgrade and get married prior, or wait and get married after who knows how long. Everyday I flip flop. I can’t get it off my mind.
Fiance said we’d look totally lame cancelling a wedding then having a wedding at the same place anyway. It wouldn’t look right.
[Please don’t say have a wedding in my father’s state. No one wants that.]