Would this bother you?

posted 6 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
7071 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Yeah, I agree with your best friend – I think you are completly overreacting. Professionally, I use my full name but if I’m closer to a co-worker and we hang out outside of work I usually tell them that they can call me by my nickname. It doesn’t have anything to do with how close we are.

I would just assume that she at one point said “Hey, you can just call me Sam.” And not everyone who has a name that can be shortened likes for people to do that. I go by a nickname but my husband hates the shortened verious of his name and would absolutly correct anyone who called him that. So his other female co-worker probably just doesn’t go by the shortened version of her name ever. There is just absolutly nothing suspicious about this to me.

Post # 3
282 posts
Helper bee

Ditto to what @hikingbride said. My name is Stephanie and that’s what my colleagues called me when I first started working here, now the people in my department and co workers who I am friendlier with call me “Steph”. It is not an indication of any funny business with my colleagues.

Post # 4
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

You’re overreacting big time….he’s calling her Sam not sexy or sweetheart 

Post # 5
314 posts
Helper bee

I would be concerned if he started calling his coworker by a pet name, or something other than a shortened version of her actual name. I mean would DH be upset if you started calling a coworker named ‘Matthew’ Matt all of a sudden? I don’t think you have anything to worry about 🙂 If it would make you feel better I don’t see a problem with simply asking him in a nice (non-accusatory!) way. Like maybe when he talks about his team again you can say ‘Sam? Who’s Sam? OH Samantha! When did she turn into Sam?’ Hahaha I know that’s a bit much but if it makes you feel better then whatevs.

Post # 6
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Yep, agree with the other bees. I think you’re over reacting. If he’s given you zero other indication that anything is going on, it likely isn’t.

I would get concerned, however, if he started going to happy hour or lunch with her alone, having private text conversations that weren’t about work, etc.

Post # 7
3703 posts
Sugar bee

concernedbee123 :  “Would it bother you? Would you ask him why the sudden change? Or just leave it alone?” – no, no, and yes

Post # 8
1313 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

My coworkers name is Leslie, I call her Les in person. When I speak about her to my fiance I always call her Leslie. I’m not hiding a secret love affair. 

You are making a big deal over something that seems nbd. 

Post # 9
10046 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Would it bother you? No. Most people I work with are male, I am the only female. I caok call people by nick names or shortened versions of their name, it means nothing more than being friendly. 

Post # 10
85 posts
Worker bee

Why would this bother you?? 

Post # 12
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Everyone I work with fluctuates between calling me by my full name, and by my shortened name. I’m probably in all of their phones as my full name, and yet I’m sure they still refer to me in person as the shortened version.

I really think you’re way more concerned than you should be. If his coworker was named Joshua and he eventually started calling him Josh would that be weird to you? If not, then you’re basically only concerned because she happened to be born with a vajayjay. That ain’t fair girl.

Post # 13
1986 posts
Buzzing bee

Totally agree with your best friend, and just to add that this sort of things can really erode trust.

If you love your husband and trust him ther’s just no room in the life of a marriage for this, and it’s (obviously) a HUGE time waster.

Your comment about the other woman member of the team is especially troubling. If you “can’t stop worrying” about something as innocuous as this, it might well be worth your time to have a couple sessions with a good counselor in hopes of getting to a more comfortable place with yourself.

Blessings and hopes for the best for you, DH, and your marriage!


Post # 14
6336 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

Yeah, this is a non issue.

I do think there are underlying issues here you need to explore. Why don’t you trust him?

Post # 15
2484 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I work with a Michael. After hearing lots of people refer to him as Mike for several months, I started calling him Mike.

I did not cheat on my FI.

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