- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
My husband and I have a disagreement. We each think outsiders would side with us so I thought I’d put it out here to see what the Bees have to say.
So, my husband is a handy guy. He does a lot of woodworking and he always has a project he’s busy with and very focused on. Over the years we’ve been together, I’ve asked him to do some projects or make/ build some things for me. He never has and he’s never given me a gift that he made himself. The one possible exception is that he put a built in china cabinet in our dining room. We’re renovating our house and there was an alcove in the dining room that just screamed for a built-in. So, while he sort if built it for me, I honestly think he would have put something there on his own, regardless.
Prior to Christmas I found him on our covered side porch working on something during an ice storm. I asked him about it and he told me he was making a present for the wife of friends of ours. She has a hobby and the item he was making was a carrier for the finished project.
I’m not gonna lie – I was really hurt, upset and jealous about this. My birthday was a few months ago and I’d asked my husband to build me a shoe rack in our small master bedroom closet. He didn’t. Just like he didnt build me the birdhouse I asked for or the frame around the mirror in our guest room, or any of the things I’ve ever asked him to make for me, let alone him just thinking of and making me something on his own. But there he was…making a special, custom, personal gift for this other woman.
When I told him this bothered me, he got very defensive and then changed his story that the gift was for both the husband and wife, and not just the wife – even though the item he made was specifically related to HER hobby. He did later add some things to the gift that made it a bit more for the both of them which may have been his plan all along.
Let me be clear, I would have been hurt by his making a gift for ANYONE else since he’s never done it for me, even when I’ve specifically asked him for something. The fact that this gift was for another woman just added insult to injury.
For Christmas, he got me chargers for my phone and Ipad, a speaker for my iPad (although he uses it to listen to music more than I do) and some items related to my hobby. All very nice, practical, thoughtful gifts.
So my question is, if you were me, would this have bothered or upset you? Why or why not? Other thoughts?