(Closed) Would this bother you if your so did this?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Ap2010:  If a grown man said he’d study anything I did, I’d think that guy needed to get a life. Independent adults do NOT have to be twinsies to prove loyalty, affection, attraction, etc.

Post # 32
5089 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

Sounds like he may be just telling you those things to get to meet you sooner. It’s a little strange to want to chat with someone online for a year before meeting them, especially if you are a full grown adult. If he is legitimately planning to do these things after only chatting with you online, then he sounds like a stage 5 clinger. Even just wanting to go to the same college wouldn’t be that bad if he felt like he needed another degree, but majoring in anything just to be in the same classes as you? Totally weird and a total waste of money. 

Post # 33
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

That sounds pretty creepy to me. I’d steer clear of him. 

Post # 34
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

He sounds like a thirst bucket. No bueno. 

Post # 35
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Ap2010:  I haven’t read through the whole thread.. but are you over 18? He sounds kind of like a stalker/predator. I’d be very careful what information you leak to him. 

Post # 36
2574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That is really bizarre and it would bother me. 

Post # 38
730 posts
Busy bee

So many red flags. “So I am talking to a guy and we really like each other but never met in person yet? He is the most respectful, honest, caring, sweet, and loving guy.” Please believe me, I speak from experience when I tell you that you have no way of knowing whether he is the most respectful, caring, sweet, honest, loving guy UNTIL YOU MEET IN PERSON and see how he is around others. Right now you only have his filtered account of who he is. That is nothing. I have fallen down this hole before. DON’T DO IT.

Post # 39
730 posts
Busy bee

I have to comment again, because this is really, really bad. I am honestly afraid for you. Please step away from this guy.

Post # 40
14987 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yea, it’d bother be a ton cause it sounds batshit crazy. 

Post # 41
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Ap2010:  This can’t be real.  Your only concern is that him ‘copying you’ will breed resentment??  

If I were you, I would run.  I HOPE it’s setting off alarm bells in your brain that this guy’s behaviour is concerning.

He is 25 years old (apparently), yet is telling you that he’ll do whatever you want to do, and follow you wherever you want to go.  I mean, you haven’t met him.  You essentially know nothing about him except what he tells you.  Are you sure he’s not 15?  I’m serious.

Sorry to be harsh, but come on.  Let’s assume he’s telling the truth:  Think about the implications of this on your life.  You’re literally planning a future with a guy you’ve never met.  What if he enrolls in your school and your major and has every class with you, and turns out to be a psycho who you can’t escape from?  What would you do then?  Are you going to drop out of school?  

I just can’t even with this.

Post # 42
592 posts
Busy bee

It would bother me mainly because when it comes to academia my fiancé and my interests are completely different. 

What bothers me even more is the amount of red flags this guy is already waving around. I would run so fast from this situation before being more invested in him. 

Post # 43
6432 posts
Bee Keeper

Ap2010:  He needs to have his own life and not be copying what you do.  this sounds like a receipe for disaster.

Post # 44
510 posts
Busy bee

Both of you sound like you’re avoiding reality.

Post # 45
964 posts
Busy bee

stop communicating with him. Tell him you have thought about it in earnest and you do not believe you two are compatible but that you wish him all the best and then cut him off.

this is not right. Not in any way, shape or form. It is very creepy. And it’s impossible to say whether it’s because he is extremely co-dependant, or extremely needy or extremely controlling. but what isn’t in doubt is that it’s extreme. No matter how you slice it. Extremely extreme. This will not go anywhere good. The longer you stay in contact with him the deeper you are digging yourself in with him and the harder  – and more dangerous – it will be to dig yourself out. 

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