(Closed) Would this bug you?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s a bit weird but people may not realize it.

Post # 4
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think it would!

My husband is his own person his identity isn’t really attached to me. I think maybe this person assumed the group already knew you were married, maybe?

I don’t really like to use connections. If I know someones husbands name I use their name instead of the term “husband” all the time.

Post # 5
Member
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe because it is a professional setting, this person doesn’t want to draw your personal life into it?

Post # 6
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think I would need to know the full context of the situation to correctly judge my feelings but I think it would bother me only if it was related to the topic (if that makes sense). If he was bringing your husband up in an example of him being your husband than I would think he’d logically include you. However if he is saying just a basic fact like, my friend James has a button collection, I don’t think he needs to mention you.

Post # 7
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SimplyChic11:  Was this person also a friend/acquaintance of your DH’s? If so, I see NO problem with it.

 

Honestly I’d think it was weird if people who knew both me and my Darling Husband would always say “KatNYC2011’s husband so-and-so” rather than just saying “so-and-so”.

I know he’s my husband, it doesn’t need to be broadcast every time he’s talked about while I’m in the room.

In fact, I have a friend who always says things like “My husband, so and so” when *everyone* in the room is friends with both of them and just his name would suffice. I actually find it rather annoying.

Post # 7
Member
46451 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It wouldn’t bother me at all. After all, he is still a person with his own identity.

 In fact , I am bothered by the exact opposite. I much prefer to be referenced by name rather than as “so and so’s wife” or ” so and so’s mother”

Post # 9
Member
9659 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

I agree with PPs, he is still a person with his own identity. I wouldn’t say they’re ignoring the fact that you’re married. Them bringing up an example of something to do with their friend, doesn’t mean they have to mention every connection that person has in the room. If you had brought up your husband as an example would you have said he was the friend of the other person? I am guessing not

Post # 10
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Lt.Columbo:  Totally agree.

 

If I had to introduce someone/ talk about them in front of a crowd, I would just state their name. It sounds like it wasn’t an intimate enviroment where introducing people like “Hey, this is Jerry, he is Susan’s husband” would be off putting.

Post # 11
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@SimplyChic11:  Without more context all I can really say is that Darling Husband is his own person as am I.

Unless they were saying something along the lines of “so and so’s wife does x” where you were the wife and not mentioned as such, I don’t really see an issue.

Post # 13
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@SimplyChic11:  if it reflected you personally, yes thats weird. I probably would have interjected something like, “Hey! That’s ME!”

Post # 14
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@SimplyChic11:  do you think he did it assuming everyone knew he was your husband (since it was about you and people you were related to)?

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