(Closed) Would this make me a horrible bridesmaid?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Just be honest with her.  Let her know your situation, but that kind of event is not in the cards.  She will either have the weekend she wants without you, or have something a little more low-key in town and include everyone.  Chances are if you’re upfront & honest from the beginning, she’ll be pretty understanding 🙂

Post # 5
Member
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

No, I think she would have to understand that not everyone can afford to take a trip like that. If she really wants you there she would at least have to help you pay for it.

Post # 6
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Agree. Be honest and tell her NOW. Dont let her get her expectations up much higher.

Post # 7
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

No.  And a true friend wouldn’t expect you to put yourself out for her wedding.

Post # 8
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Nope.  Stuff is expensive and not everyone can afford expensive things.  That simple.

Post # 9
Member
4162 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with PP’s I would just let her know as soon as you can that you probably wouldn’t be able to afford something like that.  But also let her know that you don’t want her to change plans because of you, because you don’t want her to think you’re trying to be difficult (I speak from experience!)

Post # 10
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Absolutely not.  Bridesmaids are not required to attend bachelorettes – its nice if they can, but especially if its a weekend away, brides need to understand that people have other financial and time committments.

Post # 11
Member
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Just tell her your situation.  You could even offer the idea of doing a small local get together, like drinks or a brunch, in addition to the weekend.  That way everyone gets to be involved and celebrate, and she won’t feel guilty if she chooses to do it and not all the BMs could attend.

Post # 12
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@sweetpea87:  Absolutely not.  If a bride wants an expensive destination bachelorette party, she has to understand that not everyone will be able to afford that.  And even if they can technically afford it, they may have other financial priorities and that doesn’t make them bad friends.

Post # 13
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@sweetpea87: 

Nope, not a bad Bridesmaid or Best Man at all.  I love the idea of it, but it’s just not practical for some people.  I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man for a lifelong friend, and all of the other BMs are supposed to fly across the country to have a planning weekend with her.  They’re going because their finances allow such a thing, and the bride understands that I can’t go because mine do not.   

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