(Closed) Would THIS make you UPSET?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would be freaking out too. I think that it is absurd, inconsiderate, obnoxious, rude – so many words to describe it – for them to have done that to you. You simply do not schedule weddings with major guest overlap on top of one another. I have a friend who got engaged and chose the weekend I was planning on (though at this point I was just planning with my Fiance and our families and hadn’t told friends bc we were waiting for my ring to be custom made) and while I had a freak out to my Fiance and family about it, I didn’t say a word to her and just bumped mine up to the end of August instead of the original October. Earlier than I wanted, but there was NO WAY I was scheduling mine close to hers because we have MANY of the same friends and I think it’s ridiculous to expect that so many out of towners come right back for another wedding. I do now happen to be getting married before her, which may annoy her slightly though she hasnt said anything, but I don’t consider that to be stealing any of her thunder because I moved mine up TWO MONTHS to accomodate her and our friends.

So, as for whether you have a right to be upset about timing of the wedding so close to yours – yes, I believe you do. Whether you should be upset they are marrying before you – errrrrrr I think not so much with that. I don’t think it would bother you so much if it wasn’t SO close. And I’m not one to judge people or say they are "rushing into things" because my Fiance and I started talking about marriage about a month after we started seriously dating and got engaged after about 5 months. I don’t know your FI’s brother’s situation with his girl, so I won’t make any judgments regarding their fast engagement, but I do think that for them to have done that is just so incredibly selfish. I couldn’t handle that. I think I would try to break them up – at least until after my wedding 😉

Post # 4
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I have to say, I would be upset by that.  I think, abashedly, I would also be somewhat judgemental about this couple knowing each other for 3 weeks, getting engaged, and then getting married so quickly.  (Is she pregnant?)  I think the fact that their timeline, is as it is, they will be drawing more attention to themselves, rather than the fact that they will be having their wedding a week before yours. 

If people are having issues making it to both, I would think they’ll skip theirs, to come to yours.  Also, with such little time to plan, I would think that your wedding will be nicer and better organized. v Sorry.

Post # 5
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

personally i would be miffed. but i wouldn’t say or do anything about it.

i think it is just not nice of his Bro to do that, but love makes you do crazy things, and you never know there may be extenuating circumstances (perhaps baby, deployment?, or simply needing medical coverage or the crazy kids are just so in love they physically can’t wait)  

(when i got engaged, my uncle, who is only a few years older than I am, said he was thinking about proposing…..and I looked at him and said "can you just wait another month til i’m married"- this would have been his third engagement, 2nd wedding- so i didn’t feel too out of line asking)

Post # 6
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Has your Fiance said anything to his brother about this? I don’t think it’s your place to say anything, but since your Fiance knows it is upsetting you, I wonder if he might sneak a comment in about it to his brother. I don’t know what kind of relationship they have, but if they are close it might be worth mentioning – unless they’ve already booked location, vendors, etc. in which case what’s done is done.

Also, I agree with Tanya123 that people who don’t want to/can’t come to both would come to yours first, and yours will totally be nicer.

Post # 7
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

so this crazy couple is giving themselves 5 weeks to plan their wedding?  how do you even plan a wedding that fast?  you have every right to be upset but beyond that i sort of feel sorry for these people that they’ll miss out on all the awesome things you’ll have at YOUR wedding that require time and planning.  also, i hope it works out for them, but they’re missing out on even getting to know each other all that well!!  your wedding will rock, and by the way i also got engaged fast-ish, a week after our 1 year anniversary, and i would have had a shorter engagement (mine will be 8.5 months) but my brother is an opera singer and had performances booked.  congrats and have a blast!!

Post # 8
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

k I know this was a long time ago, but I had a similar situation and I am so upset.

But I would be even more livid in your situation.

I have a close friend who started dating a guy three months after I had started dating my now fiance. My fiance and I got engaged after 6 months of dating, and my friend just engaged over Christmas (so it was six months for her too)…but my wedding date is May 30, 2010…and she set hers for May 22, 2010. AND SHE WANTS ME TO BE HER MAID OF HONOR! A week before my wedding, really?!

I am so upset..

Post # 9
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

@Tanya123:

I think, abashedly, I would also be somewhat judgemental about this couple knowing each other for 3 weeks, getting engaged, and then getting married so quickly.  (Is she pregnant?)

Is 3 weeks even enough time to get pregnant, and find out AND get engaged!?!?!  LOL….

@m.jessica: this is absurd.  I’m sorry for this mess you are dealing with.  Sadly, there is nothing you can do about his family.  Hopefully, you can be honest and very candid with your soon-to-be-husband about how his family’s actions have hurt you. Perhaps he can talk some sense into his brother and make him see the rudeness in his actions.

Or, maybe they won’t go through with the wedding.  After all, it’s all pretty quick!  I mean 3 weeks!! Really!?!?!?

Post # 10
Member
1336 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Wow, sorry to hear about all of that.  Just focus on your wedding and try not to let their hastiness cloud your big day or the planning. 

Post # 11
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I completely understand this! MY Fiance and I have been together for over 5 years now, and we have ALWAYS known our wedding date would be 12/21/12. We’ve had it planned for years. So I get engaged in September, and all of a sudden my friend (who has been on and off, mostly off with her boyfriend) tells us she’s engaged in November. When is her wedding date… out of ALL the days on the 2012 calendar? 12/15/12! Within one week of our date. I was PISSED! Now I’ve gotten over it because very few of the same people will not be going to both of our weddings. I was also upset that she just told me “yeah I am going to be on my honeymoon during your wedding, so I wont be coming. I’m trying to decide if I should even invite you either because I know you’ll be busy.” Seriously? And I had thought she was a good friend before this!

Post # 12
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree it is tacky and privately I would be pissy, but I don’t think that there is anything you can do about it. Just know how much better your wedding will look in comparison.

Post # 13
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@m.jessica:  While it kinda sucks, I don’t think you can control when other people decide to get married…that’s out of your hands so there is no point getting upset about it

Who knows, maybe the wedding will end up cancelled

Post # 14
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I would be annoyed. If a friend or family was planning a wedding and had a clearly set date, I would stay clear of it!

Post # 15
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This is a thread from 2 years ago. Why is anyone commenting on it now?

Post # 16
Member
1855 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@TheMsMittens:  I just click “BOARDS” when I log in, and post on what comes up and if its relevent. I didn’t even check the date, to be honest. 

I hope everything worked out in the end, OP

🙂

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