Post # 1
Okay, I don’t think that I am a bridezilla but there have been numerous things that have bothered me in thewedding planning with my fiance’s family. I have not spent too much time worrying about them and will not start a fight over it either. My mom always said you can’t say anything bad about someone’s family even if they do no matter how bad they are. So I haven’t. There ahve been things like out of town siblings coming in the day of asking us to push back the ceremony, so they could have more vaca time after the wedding instead of just coming a day earlier and taking a day off vaca. That is stuff I have decided not to get upset about. Well then THIS happened.
My fiance and I have been dating for 1 when we got engaged and had a 4 1/2 month engagment, seems kind of fast, but I didn’t want to wait until next year and I wanted to get married in the summer. So the date is Aug 6. Well when we were at about the 2 1/2 month mark during our engagment, my fiance’s brother announces he is engaged (a girl he had been dating 3 weeks or elss) and they said they were getting married july 1 (which happened to be the day of my bridal shower) I wasn’t upset about that as much because a bridal shower can be easily rescheduled, however they got engaged AFTER us and are getting married BEFORE us. Would that upset anyone else?
THEN, they pushed back their date to the end of july. So now they are getting married like a week before us!! And that is what bothers me the most! Since I can’t truly show how upset I am to my fiance (although he can tel) and everyone else I vent to aren’t brides, I needed opinions from brides themselves. I mean I don’t usually like to be the center of attention or be praised, but I admit I was excited for my wedding day to ahve things the way I wanted and have people be excited for me, excited for my future, and excited for our choice. I was looking forward to that. And now I feel like his family will be wedding-ed out and not as excited for ours.
Would this bother anyone else or am I just being overly sensitive? Sorry for the long post!
Post # 3
I would be freaking out too. I think that it is absurd, inconsiderate, obnoxious, rude – so many words to describe it – for them to have done that to you. You simply do not schedule weddings with major guest overlap on top of one another. I have a friend who got engaged and chose the weekend I was planning on (though at this point I was just planning with my Fiance and our families and hadn’t told friends bc we were waiting for my ring to be custom made) and while I had a freak out to my Fiance and family about it, I didn’t say a word to her and just bumped mine up to the end of August instead of the original October. Earlier than I wanted, but there was NO WAY I was scheduling mine close to hers because we have MANY of the same friends and I think it’s ridiculous to expect that so many out of towners come right back for another wedding. I do now happen to be getting married before her, which may annoy her slightly though she hasnt said anything, but I don’t consider that to be stealing any of her thunder because I moved mine up TWO MONTHS to accomodate her and our friends.
So, as for whether you have a right to be upset about timing of the wedding so close to yours – yes, I believe you do. Whether you should be upset they are marrying before you – errrrrrr I think not so much with that. I don’t think it would bother you so much if it wasn’t SO close. And I’m not one to judge people or say they are "rushing into things" because my Fiance and I started talking about marriage about a month after we started seriously dating and got engaged after about 5 months. I don’t know your FI’s brother’s situation with his girl, so I won’t make any judgments regarding their fast engagement, but I do think that for them to have done that is just so incredibly selfish. I couldn’t handle that. I think I would try to break them up – at least until after my wedding 😉
Post # 4
I have to say, I would be upset by that. I think, abashedly, I would also be somewhat judgemental about this couple knowing each other for 3 weeks, getting engaged, and then getting married so quickly. (Is she pregnant?) I think the fact that their timeline, is as it is, they will be drawing more attention to themselves, rather than the fact that they will be having their wedding a week before yours.
If people are having issues making it to both, I would think they’ll skip theirs, to come to yours. Also, with such little time to plan, I would think that your wedding will be nicer and better organized. v Sorry.
Post # 5
personally i would be miffed. but i wouldn’t say or do anything about it.
i think it is just not nice of his Bro to do that, but love makes you do crazy things, and you never know there may be extenuating circumstances (perhaps baby, deployment?, or simply needing medical coverage or the crazy kids are just so in love they physically can’t wait)
(when i got engaged, my uncle, who is only a few years older than I am, said he was thinking about proposing…..and I looked at him and said "can you just wait another month til i’m married"- this would have been his third engagement, 2nd wedding- so i didn’t feel too out of line asking)
Post # 6
Has your Fiance said anything to his brother about this? I don’t think it’s your place to say anything, but since your Fiance knows it is upsetting you, I wonder if he might sneak a comment in about it to his brother. I don’t know what kind of relationship they have, but if they are close it might be worth mentioning – unless they’ve already booked location, vendors, etc. in which case what’s done is done.
Also, I agree with Tanya123 that people who don’t want to/can’t come to both would come to yours first, and yours will totally be nicer.
Post # 7
so this crazy couple is giving themselves 5 weeks to plan their wedding? how do you even plan a wedding that fast? you have every right to be upset but beyond that i sort of feel sorry for these people that they’ll miss out on all the awesome things you’ll have at YOUR wedding that require time and planning. also, i hope it works out for them, but they’re missing out on even getting to know each other all that well!! your wedding will rock, and by the way i also got engaged fast-ish, a week after our 1 year anniversary, and i would have had a shorter engagement (mine will be 8.5 months) but my brother is an opera singer and had performances booked. congrats and have a blast!!
Post # 8
k I know this was a long time ago, but I had a similar situation and I am so upset.
But I would be even more livid in your situation.
I have a close friend who started dating a guy three months after I had started dating my now fiance. My fiance and I got engaged after 6 months of dating, and my friend just engaged over Christmas (so it was six months for her too)…but my wedding date is May 30, 2010…and she set hers for May 22, 2010. AND SHE WANTS ME TO BE HER MAID OF HONOR! A week before my wedding, really?!
I am so upset..
Post # 9
I think, abashedly, I would also be somewhat judgemental about this couple knowing each other for 3 weeks, getting engaged, and then getting married so quickly. (Is she pregnant?)
Is 3 weeks even enough time to get pregnant, and find out AND get engaged!?!?! LOL….
@m.jessica: this is absurd. I’m sorry for this mess you are dealing with. Sadly, there is nothing you can do about his family. Hopefully, you can be honest and very candid with your soon-to-be-husband about how his family’s actions have hurt you. Perhaps he can talk some sense into his brother and make him see the rudeness in his actions.
Or, maybe they won’t go through with the wedding. After all, it’s all pretty quick! I mean 3 weeks!! Really!?!?!?
Post # 10
Wow, sorry to hear about all of that. Just focus on your wedding and try not to let their hastiness cloud your big day or the planning.
Post # 11
I completely understand this! MY Fiance and I have been together for over 5 years now, and we have ALWAYS known our wedding date would be 12/21/12. We’ve had it planned for years. So I get engaged in September, and all of a sudden my friend (who has been on and off, mostly off with her boyfriend) tells us she’s engaged in November. When is her wedding date… out of ALL the days on the 2012 calendar? 12/15/12! Within one week of our date. I was PISSED! Now I’ve gotten over it because very few of the same people will not be going to both of our weddings. I was also upset that she just told me “yeah I am going to be on my honeymoon during your wedding, so I wont be coming. I’m trying to decide if I should even invite you either because I know you’ll be busy.” Seriously? And I had thought she was a good friend before this!
Post # 12
I agree it is tacky and privately I would be pissy, but I don’t think that there is anything you can do about it. Just know how much better your wedding will look in comparison.
Post # 13
@m.jessica: While it kinda sucks, I don’t think you can control when other people decide to get married…that’s out of your hands so there is no point getting upset about it
Who knows, maybe the wedding will end up cancelled
Post # 14
I would be annoyed. If a friend or family was planning a wedding and had a clearly set date, I would stay clear of it!
Post # 15
This is a thread from 2 years ago. Why is anyone commenting on it now?
Post # 16
@TheMsMittens: I just click “BOARDS” when I log in, and post on what comes up and if its relevent. I didn’t even check the date, to be honest.
I hope everything worked out in the end, OP