Post # 1
So tonight my hubby texted saying he was working late. A little while later, he said he’d lied and was actually in town getting something for me and that I could consider it an early birthday present. He kept saying he hoped I wouldn’t be mad though. I feel like an idiot now but I was so impressed that he was going out of his way to do something nice for me. I was thinking maybe jewlery, candy, something that I’d like but would feel guilty about. I was really touched that he was going out of his way to do something on a night he was exhausted from working early and wouldn’t normally do anything. (He said it had to be tonight or he wouldn’t be able to get it.)
I just talked him into giving it to me early because I was so curious. Turns out it’s a book signed by his favorite celebrity female, who wrote a book and was at a signing. He’s been obsessed with her for as long as I can remember. At first I was just shocked, and then it sunk in, and now I can’t stop bawling. I feel like I’m being an idiot but it is just such a slap in the face that I thought he was doing something nice for me and he was actually drooling over his dream girl. It wasn’t about me at all, it was completely about him. I honestly could care less that he met her, hell I’d have gone with him. I’m just so incredibly disappointed, hurt, and angry at him for being so clueless. And talk about feeling the opposite of special.
He’s all apologetic now and I told him I accept his apology but that I think I deserve to be a little upset for awhile. Can anyone give me some validation?? I could use some support. Would this upset you?
Post # 3
@monalisa670: ugh – you entirely have a reason to be upset..early birthday present?? i hope he meant for himself !
Post # 4
I’d probably be a little pissed off, too. Just keep it in stride. It’s one of those crappy things that happen, but not worth being too upset over for too long.
Post # 5
Not only would it upset me, I would throw the book in the fireplace. Since it IS your book. Problem solved.
Post # 6
I just want to make sure I understand. He said he was doing something for you, but then came home with a book for you, but he’s the fan? Do you like the celebrity/author at all? I’m usually pretty laid back, but yeah, I would be irked he couldn’t have just told the truth about what he was doing.
Post # 7
@monalisa670: Aw, I’d be a bit miffed too. To go from bumming that he’s going to stay late at work to being really excited that he’s being sweet and getting you a gift, back down to finding out it was more for his own selfish reasons would make me mad, too. I think that it’s good he apologized, but yes, you deserve your own time to get over it, since an apology doesn’t just make you *poof* feel better.
Maybe tomorrow or the next day, when you’re less upset, talk with him about why you were so hurt. Let him know that had he invited you to come along or even just said ‘oh wow, I really want to stay after work and go to this book signing, have a night out w/ the girls’ or something, that would have been much better than fronting (and making it seem like it was for you…come on now, Mr.). Have some ice cream or whatever it is that makes you happy, and realize that he made a mistake, he didn’t really realize how not-smart it was, and he means well (he did apologize, after all).
ETA- You can always stay out late getting a pedicure, and come home and tell him you painted your toes and had a girls day, but it was ‘for him’. 😉 That can be your birthday gift from him.
Post # 8
Men and women think differently. I don’t know how he can rationalize this , even to himself, but that’s obviously what he tried to do.
Forgive him, tell him NEVER to pull such a stunt again, and move on.
Post # 9
Like the others said- yeah, I would be pretty annoyed. Not really super “mad” per se- well, maybe for that day. But mainly just pissed and annoyed that he could be so clueless. Hell, if he had just texted and said “Hey, my favorite celebrity is in town and I want to get her autograph” then I wouldn’t care at all, but the fact that he said it was for you, when it was actually for him (yeah, he gave you the book, but it’s like when Homer simpson gave Marge a bowling ball that said Homer on it) is the annoying part. Just one of those annoying things that I would just have to get mad then brush off.
Post # 10
I’d be slightly annoyed probably, but not bawling uncontrollably. I’d probably have tossed the book and told him he’s taking me to my favorite restaurant.
Post # 11
I would be highly annoyed. I would wonder why he didn’t just ask me to go with him. And also why he thought that would be a good gift for me?!
On the up side, I heard her book isn’t bad.
Post # 12
Well, he didn’t think about your feelings until after the fact. He attempted to lie, but then felt bad about it and came clean, kind of. (at least he told you the truth later) But I’d still be irritated and need some time, that is so ridiculous to lie about, just admit you wanted to meet her in person, don’t say your working late, BIG no no, why don’t men understand this?
And, I think you deserve a REALLY awesome birthday present now 😉
Post # 13
Thanks ladies. I knew you would be supportive! I pulled it together and talked to my friend and am feeling better. It was also just a really bad time to pull a stunt like that because I’m stressed to the max from other things so I think contributed to the tears 🙂 But it feels really, really good to know that others would have been annoyed too.
I also talked to him and told him he better not ever again do something like that for himself and pretend like he was doing something nice for me. And that he owes me a good birthday gift that he actually puts some thought into.
@nqz100: Yes, he is competely the fan, but it is a book for women so he probably needed an excuse to meet her, and I was that excuse.
@future mrs j: Haha, it doesn’t look bad, but I’m too busy proving a point to read it. 🙂
Post # 14
The curiosity is killing me! Who is the celebrity?
Post # 15
I would be super upset not because he went but because he tried to say it was a surprise for you! I am curious who the celebrity is?
Post # 16
@15happyyears: Yes that’s exactly what it was more about! and to you and @Miss Lilac: it is Maria Menounos. He loves her.. which is cool. she’s hot.And we’re both Greek, she’s Greek, I get it. I don’t love her or anything but I don’t not like her… I’d have totally gone to meet her, and been way more into getting the book if it wasn’t handled this way.