Post # 1
I just want to know if Im nuts or not. Would you be friends with her? She cheated and that ended the whole relationship.Been together for like 10 years. Then your brother, son, or uncle says he doesnt care if your friends with her. ( But does that mean he does care, but doesnt want to tell you)? Would you want to be friends with a woman who would treat your brother, son, or uncle that way??
Would you? Y or Y not?
Im trying to understand something.
Thank you bees.
Post # 3
It depends on the relationship before hand for me. If I had been close with her prior to the cheating, I would probably be friends with her. I don’t think that telling other people not to be friends with someone because they hurt you is a fair thing to do. Just because the romantic relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t necessarily mean whatever family relationships developed have to end as well, especially after 10 years.
ETA: I was referncing real life relationships, not necessarily Facebook. I’m only friends with people on Facebook that I’m close too in real life, so I guess that I would remain friends with her on Facebook as well.
Post # 4
Wait a few months. If there is no contact between her and your brother and her and you, delete.
Post # 5
Say your sister in law cheated on your brother. But now that their relationship is over you still want to see the really cute pictures of your nieces and nephews that she posts on Facebook. That is an example of when I might still be *friends* with her.
FWIW, I am friends with my ex-husband on FB. Is that odd?
Post # 6
Family is first, I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who treated a member of my family that way. However Facebook friends is not real friends at all. If she’s just a random chick who cutted all bond with the family I’d defriend her but if there are other elements (like kids) involved I’d keep her on FB, it might be usefull later, again facebook friends doesn’t mean real friends at all.
Post # 7
If we were friends.. I’m not sure.
My brother’s girlfriend cheated. I don’t blame her for finding someone else and could have dismissed the cheating (hey- it happens. She’s engaged to the guy now, they had legitimate feelings for each oher).. it was the fact she led my brother on for 3 months after she broke up with him. He didn’t know about the other guy and was trying to win her back- she let him waste his money and time. He was a wreck. It changed how I felt about her and thus she was unfriended.
Post # 8
my brother and I are very close. I would never stay friends with someone who hurt him like that.
Post # 9
If there are children, then yes because she will post about them. If you are close friends as it is, then yes because you have a relationship in your own right, not just through the uncle (or whomever). If they are talking about it and looking to work things out, then yes, de-friending her could just cause tension.
If there are no children, you weren’t friends and only connected by the uncle and the uncle was completely done with her – then no, I wouldn’t be “friends” with her.
Some people might remain friends just so that they could stalk her and gloat about how her life goes downhill after the breakup.
Post # 10
Thank you. Most of you agree with me.The male that Im talking about is my Fiance. The break up with his ex was bad(she cheated, the relationship ended) and he only talks to her by chance(she works at the Walmart we shop at). There were no children or engagement.
But his mom, 2 sisters and neices are all friends with her on FB. I would understand if the relationship ended okay. But how it ended, I just dont understand how they all could be friends with her still? With how she treated him.
If I had a brother, son or uncle and a woman treated him so bad, no way would I be friends on FB with her.
I just dont get it. Oh well. 🙂 I wont lose sleep on it. Just dont get it.
Post # 11
I guess it depends on the person who was wronged. Meaning, if the man who got cheated on was ok with them continuing the relationship, then I would probably still be friends. Granted, I wouldn’t be as close to her had she not hurt the person I loved – and, it would probably only be an aquaintence type of relationship – at that.
But, I could see how cutting off all contact would be dramatic (especially if the man wronged had forgiven the person and moved on, etc.)
Post # 12
My older brother’s wife cheated on him when i 16. I wound up spying on her and following her around town taking notes for the attorney. My family hated her, she hurt my brother she was dead to us. She stopped the affair my brother and her got back together and worked things out. It took years to even deal with her on any level, but if my brother could get over it we had to. 15 years later she has another affair, they get divorced. She is dead to us.
They have 3 kids and now 2 grand kids. My brother gets cancer and passes away. She has full custody of the youngest kid and the two grandkids. My brother was never outwardly angry at her, never spoke ill of her, he was amazing. We had to suck it up to get to see the kids ever. She’s been in my life since I was 9 years old. Eventually we let go of the hurt and anger towards her. Nothing we did was going to bring him back, and missing out on his kids/grandkids growing up wasn’t worth the anger.
So yes I’m actually friends with my ex-sister in law, and she in fact, along with her b/f, are coming to my wedding.
Post # 13
A woman cheated on my uncle right after an injury that made him paralyzed from the chest down. She cheated on him with his best friend. They were together like 12 years (never married). I still dislike her for this. She tried to add me on FB..that was big fat IGNORE!!
Post # 14
Hell to the naw. Blood comes first. And, my brother and I are SUPER close.
Post # 15
@HisIrishPrincess: Im sorry to hear about your brother. It sounds like it was a very difficult situation.
Post # 16
It depends on how close I am to the relative, TBH.