(Closed) Would we regret eloping? And how to make it special?

posted 4 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Would we regret eloping?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 2
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee

    My fiance and I are having a small intimate wedding with just our parents and siblings. Sit down and really discuss how important it is for the two of you to have all your friends and family. That’s what we did and we realized the only people we want there are our immediate family and no one else. We had just purchased a house so financially we couldn’t take that hit. We let all of our friends and family know our decision and everyone understood. We are going to have a wedding celebration/house warming party to celebrate with them all and show them pictures. You could do the same. There is nothing wrong with it and trust me it will feel just as amazing as any wedding whether big or small. Ultimately, you two make the final decision and I’m sure both families will be supportive. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee

    We’re having a very intimate wedding in October. We thought long and hard about our priorities, and ours went in this order:

    1) Get married
    2) Don’t spend a ridiculous amount of money for one day (we are about to close on a house)
    3) Don’t have an out of control guest list that would increase cost and anxiety
    4) Have our immediate family witness our nuptials

    This left us with a roughly 30-person guest list of just immediate family, their significant others, and one set of family friends each, who feel like immediate family. While there are people who are disappointed they won’t be able to spend the day with us, we feel confident in our decision. We’ve been asked by various people to have a housewarming/wedding celebration later on, but I think we’ll likely forego that as there’s a reason we kept it intimate to begin with!

    Post # 4
    Member
    3535 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2015

    We had a small wedding (8 total) and I don’t regret it for a second. It was amazing and exceeded my expectations. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    3440 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

    I think it’ll be wonderful as long as you both agree this is what you want and have the same priorities in mind. No need to think of anything to make it more special. You’ll have to ask your Fiance directly if not having all his friends there would bother him. We are doing a max guest list of 40 but honestly immediate family and the bridal party are our only absolute must have attendees and that total is about 15. Intimate gatherings have always been more comfortable and enjoyable for me.

    Our priorities were nearly identical to farmfreshjoy so decide whats most important and go from there. 🙂  

    Post # 6
    Member
    2141 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    ‘legit wedding’ all weddings are legit as long as your married at the end of it

     

    to be honest only you can answer if you’ll regret eloping,

    is it something you WANT?

    or

    something your doing because your broke/stressed/running out of time etc…?

     

    if you always wanted an elopement or small wedding then you wont regret it, if your doing it just to get it over with because your stressed and dont want to save you might regret it later

    Post # 7
    Member
    5362 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2016

    We had a small destination wedding in Hawaii with 10 guest. It was amazing and we will never regret it! It was one of the best weeks of our life!! We closed on our first house a month before we left for the wedding so I was more focused on our house, but it still turned out perfectly. We are having a reception/housewarming party next month where we’re going to have a bbq and share our wedding video/pics! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    As someone who does kind of regret their elopement, I think the most important factor is to decide if you are doing this out of necessity or because you WANT it. 

    We eloped due to family drama and it didn’t feel very special to either of us. But we literally just went to the courthouse in plain clothes and did it. So I think if you made it special and maybe even brought the immediate family it could be really nice.

    Post # 9
    Member
    203 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    We eloped to an island. We had a wonderful time and made great memories but I do sometimes wish we had small wedding here. Our guest list was only 30 people and we def could have pulled it off if we had a ceremony here and reception at a resturant. We thought that in one year we could redo it but popular opinion on wb seems to be that’s it’s tacky. So if you have any doubts I would just bite the bullet and have it with your family/friends 

    Post # 10
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    My cousin and her husband sort of eloped in Hawaii, which they made a dual wedding and honeymoon. They got married on the beach in Hawaii, just the two of them, and had a nice wedding video made. After spending 1-2 weeks in Hawaii, they came back home to have a very simple backyard BBQ reception with the entire family. It was very casual, but my cousin still wore a simple white dress and they played the video of the ceremony in Hawaii for us all to watch together. I thought it was a wonderful way to have their own intimate wedding at a cost they can afford, and still include all of their family and friends in the celebration. In my opinon, a super fancy wedding is not needed, but your family and friends would appreciate the opportunity to celebrate with you as you start your marriage! 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    We eloped on the beach and my wedding party consisted of men/women I met the day before who worked with my husband, he is in the military. It worked for us, but our family and friends were disappointed so we will be having a vow renewal ceremony for our 15th anniversary so all of our friends and family can celebrate with us all over again! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    605 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2016

    View original reply
    lelly7:  We had a planned elopement because we left for our honeymoon that night. We both dressed up and we exchanged vows. The only people to attend were his parents and my close friend, who officiated. It felt very special and I wouldn’t have changed it. I don’t think you’ll regret it. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1245 posts
    Bumble bee

    Fiance and I will have about 45 ppl witness us exchange vows in my MILs backward. Then back to our place for celebrations. Originally it was just going to be immediate family but I really wanted some time to celebrate and Fiance is close with his aunts and cousins so here aloe are at 45 pPl. 

    My advice is to sit down and think about how you want to remember your day… is it just the memories with Fiance you want or the chance to celebrate with friends and family? Fiance and I have both been married before and for me it was to make new memories celebrating because we deserve those memories with each other rather than looking back on the ones we had with our exes.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1724 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    H could not stand the idea of being in front of people, but vetoed the Justice of the Peace.  After a lot of research following some friends comments about spending more on the honeymoon than the ceremony, and to avoid the stress they all faced, (we had about 30 friends get married in a two year period, big weddings, small weddings, all stressed).

    after learning about an all inclusive one couple went to for their honeymoon, I found that all inclusive often plan and provide all aspects of a wedding if you want.  So we picked one in Jamaica, and had a minister, photographer, planner all provided, got to pick flowers, cake, and had a toast.  I wore a ‘real’ wedding dress,mans H had on a light pants,my eat, tie set, and we got married on the beach.

    Sure some people seemed confused they weren’t invited, but I made it clear NO ONE was invited, even H’s parents because their health makes it hard for them to go to the store, let alone any wedding we would have planned back home.  

    I had a very ‘legitimate’ wedding with a walk down the aisle, vows in a beach gazebo, cake and toast in a tropical garden, and a photo session all over the resort. we were offered an first dance, and could have included guests had we desired any, but for us, this was perfect.

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