(Closed) Would you be a stay at home WIFE not mom…if you could?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 182
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

id love to work from home, it would give me more time to persue other things, as of right now i leave the house at 8am every morning and dont get home untill 8pm at night, 9.30 if i go to the gym, it sucks:P

Post # 183
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We’ve discussed this because someday in the future we might try it.  I am going for my Ph.D and barely get paid anything.  When I finish I’d like to teach but there aren’t a lot of jobs in the area, but we are staying because of FI’s job and other reasons.  That’s fine with me as long as we can get by with me working part time.  I am not sure if I’d be fine with being a 100% stay at home housewife but I’d be willing to give it a shot!  My dog is needy and I am a total homebody, so it would work out. 

Post # 184
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Right now I’m a stay at home wife, although technically its not by choice. (I’m Canadian and can’t legally work in the US yet until our immigration files are settled.) My family and friends think I must be loosing my mind/feel so badly because I ‘must be so bored” etc. etc. I get where they’re coming from because I’ve ALWAYS worked and am quite a busy-body, but so far I’m enjoying it.

I love that I can help DH to keep added stress off of him. He puts in his time at work, and picks up OT when he can, which isn’t a big deal because when his days off roll around we’re free to do whatever! Chores are done, errands have been taken care of. Its “us” time!

One thing I was really surprised with is how quickly the day flies by. There really still isn’t enough time in the day even when you’re at home. I plan to work again briefly before we TTC, but will definitely be a Stay-At-Home Mom until kids are school age.

Post # 185
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would probably love it if I could stay home and just keep the house in order and then attend to my hobbies. I mean, think about it – the idea of work being this big fulfilling thing that really makes your life complete isn’t really an idea shared by everyone. It’s WORK – that’s why they have to pay you to be there, because most people don’t really want to be there doing the work! 🙂

I do think I’d need to put myself on some sort of schedule, though, if I were a Stay-At-Home Wife. Like, 9am – 12: housework, laundry, etc. 1pm: errands, grocery shopping, etc. Afterwards, whatever I want to do. Otherwise, I’d probably fritter away a large chunk of the day just watching TV and reading and generally puttering around, and then look up at 5pm and be like, oh crap, gotta get dinner ready!

I can’t wait until I can be retired and actually get to live as a LOLA!

Post # 186
Member
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I honestly wouldn’t. I’m surprised i’m in the minority. I think its that we’d all love to have more free time. Who wouldn’t?

But in the context of marriage, I (personal opinion) feel like both people should contribute to the household as equally as possible. I’m fairly anti gender roles. I would much rather change the tires on the car than cook! haha

Mainly, I would just have an issue not contributing to finances. Even if my hubby could support our lifestyle, I would think that I could be working towards a retirement fund so we could both stop work earlier. I wouldn’t mind being a Stay-At-Home Mom though.

Post # 187
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

I wouldn’t do this.  I know that if I have more than two days with no work to do, I start getting REALLY stir crazy.  Also, I’m in graduate school right now and I am so pumped about completing my degree and being able to work in the field.  I’d be incredibly sad if I wasn’t using my degree, although it would be really cool to be able to take different sorts of classes to learn new things.

Post # 188
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think I would get too bored…and when I’m bored, I eat. haha.

Post # 189
Member
1712 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

No! I think I would go crazy.. Plus I love the field I work in.

However, I would love to be a stay at home mom when the time comes.. or just work part-time.

Post # 190
Member
1712 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@tdizzle: Lol, same here!

Post # 191
Member
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would. It would give me time to focus on my writing.

Post # 192
Member
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@superplannerbee: I work super close to home. Even with all of those deductions, it wouldn’t be ideal for me to just sit at home.
Everything a Stay-At-Home Wife does, I can do also plus work 40 hours a week. I relax, read, blog, cook, clean, workout, go on vacations, ect. We just have double the money to do it. ^_^

Post # 193
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@superplannerbee: It makes sense now, but when we have kids I doubt it will. I used to work at a daycare and my entire paycheck minus maybe a couple bucks would go to childcare.

Post # 194
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah, I’m not sure cooking and cleaning are going to fill up 40 hours in your week.  Think about it: how long does it really take to clean your house?  I can clean my house top to botom in 3 hours.  So…what am I gonna do with the other 37 hours in my “work” week?  Cook?  For 37 hours?  I don’t think so.  And how many errands do you really have to do in the week that you need to not work to get them all done?  Remember, we’re talking just being a housewife, not a Stay-At-Home Mom.  I get the Stay-At-Home Mom thing (in the early years.  Once they’re in school, I tend to wonder about these things too.)

And I’m not buying that cost break down for a minute.  So you’re not going to need gas and insurance to run those thousands of errands you supposedly have to get done?  You’re never going to buy clothes?  Never going to eat out?  Never buy your family gifts?  Come on, let’s be real.  

If you want to be a housewife, fine.  To each their own.  I just call b.s. on the whole “I can’t POSSIBLY get everything done I need to get done in the week unless I don’t work!!” when you don’t even have kids.  Just admit you don’t want to work. I can respect your honesty.

Post # 195
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@lezlers: Oh, I totally admit I’d just rather not work. Maybe I am lazy, I don’t know. When I am in a job, though, I throw myself into it full force, so I don’t really think I’m just lazy. I’d just much rather do whatever I want with my time than be at work, doing what someone else wants/needs me to do.

Post # 196
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I pretty much am a stay-at-home Fiance right now. I started a business a few months ago which immediatlely took off, and I could have easily quit my job then, but I just cut down my hours. I’m down to 10 hours a week right now and I’m considering quitting entirely. My business is really just me selling at a market on the weekends, which doesn’t sound like much, but it gives me the income of a respectable full-time job. I think what I am going to do is quit my part-time job and invest those hours into expanding my business by selling on eBay.

I don’t see anything wrong with women who want and are able to not work and be homemakers instead. I think a lot of men take pride in being able to be the sole provider for their families, even if their family consists of just husband and wife at the time.

But being a homemaker isn’t the easiest thing in the world, either, if you ask me. It can be difficult to manage your time when you’re under no one else’s schedule but your own. I often find myself putting off certain chores or errands until it’s too late for them to be done by the time Fiance gets home, and then feeling guilty about it. It takes practice to make practical use of your hours during the day (when there are fun things like hanging around WB to tempt you away from your to-do list!) and manage your time independently, at least it did for me!

I also think Miss Tat brought up a good point a while back about feeling like you’re taking an “allowance” from your husband to be able to spend money. That would bother me. So, I’m glad I am able to bring in my own income, and I think I’d like to always do that to some extent no matter how much FH is bringing home.

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