(Closed) Would you be a stay at home WIFE not mom…if you could?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 227
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

No way jose. I always think. even if I won 38 million dollars in the lottery, I would still own my own business and work. Working is so good for your own personal growth, and achievement. Also I want to always teach my son the value of hardwork. But thats just me.

Post # 228
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I could never do it. I would be very lazy. 

Post # 229
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have 4 dogs & I tell you I can NOT keep my house & dogs clean enough working a regular job! You do what you have to do & yeah we both work & have to do the running errands, grocery shop, clean laundry etc…throught out the week & I can tell you it is not done without exhaustion & letting certain things slide. I do not want to spend my weekend cleaning a house! That is the time I actually get to spend with my husband! Why would I want to waste that time away with cleaning bathrooms – yuck! So yes, I would be a Stay-At-Home Wife in a freaking heartbeat! The stress & pressure of doing all that stuff you have to do anyway while working would come down a ton!

But I also think …..why do you care if someone is a SAHW? Why do people get upset about it ~ if you don’t like it don’t do it. Would you talk down about a person who chooses a receptionist job over an accountant’s job? Kinda the same thing in my mind.

Post # 230
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m technically a stay at home wife. Right now I’m taking a few courses towards another degree and run a part time (I work a few times a month) buisness.

I’m beginning a progam that will take 50-80 hours a week next year and will work that much (if not more) after graduation.

 I tend to get irritated when people make comments about my status. I love working (really) but right now I have time to focus on school and taking care of things at home which keeps me pretty busy. I worked 60 hours a week while earning my first bachelors, it’s nice to be able to slow down.

 I’m not sure if I would want to be a permanent stay at home wife, but I know the ladies who do it don’t usually sit around and twiddle their thumbs all day.

Post # 231
Member
1099 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I didn’t take time to read through all the responses before posting mine.

  For me, I don’t think I could do it. I am a person who can get depressed if I am not doing enough things. I think if I stayed at home, I would turn into a couch potato! Plus, I would feel guilty about not doing my part financially to help with the house. I have my bachelor’s in elem. education and am currently working on a master’s degree, and with how much I’m paying for them, I would like to use them :-). Also, I know that if I would stay at home, I would be responsible for pretty much all the cooking, cleaning, that stuff, and while I like some of it, I wouldn’t want to do it all.

  Plus, I get a taste of being a Stay-At-Home Wife during the summers and other school breaks. It is just enough to let me enjoy myself, but I’m usually ready to get back to work. We have a snow day today, we had one yesterday, and I was bummed that they called off today. I have a lot to get done in my classroom!

Post # 232
Member
3997 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Miss Taco Night: Extremely well said (: That is what partnership is about, I agree!

I would love to (sort of) stay at home after finishing school. Ideally I would work as a supply teacher so I could have a very flexible schedule. My teaching degree would still go to good use and I would be able to still do something I love. Other than that I would love to volunteer in the community, cook, clean, run errands, scrapbooking, take yoga classes, etc. I would also have time to work at local elementary schools running after school tutoring programs. The reality is that I’m probably going to be making double what Fiance will make when he’s done school so I think I would find it hard to give up that income, as well as the benefits. We would obviously have to live more simply which I wouldn’t mind as long as we could still afford to travel someday with our kids, own our home, own two cars, and as long as we could still afford to pay 2 or 3 years of our future childrens’ tutition.

Post # 233
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@ Miss Tattoo:

I never said my house is so dirty that I cannot possibly work and keep it clean. I don’t need to work for money, so I don’t. I enjoy the perks of not working, hence not having to clean every Sunday or picking up on evenings. Instead Fiance and I can do other activities that we enjoy. It works for us. Some days I might not need to clean at all and spend the day doing other things that need to get done or doing whatever the heck I want. If we needed the money, I’d gladly work. I’ve worked two jobs while going to school and volunteering. I much prefer it this way and so does Fiance.

Post # 234
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am a stay home wife….at the moment. I quite enjoy it. After working full time for so many years (and being completely independent) this was a nice break. I finally have been able to focus on the things I enjoy doing, rather than on things I “have” to do. Do I spend my days cleaning? absolutely not! I have full time help. But I do have to supervise. I spend my days by going to the gym, meeting friends for lunch/coffee, trying new recipes for my husband (who’s an amazing cook!), updating my blog, going to charity events (just today I have a lunch meeting with the director of a local charity) and planning our weekend activities. Do I miss work? Sometimes. Will I go back to work? Absolutely…but part time. 

I think you shouldn’t judge a woman for choosing to be a housewife until you know her story, and until you can walk in her shoes for a few weeks.

Love,

B

Post # 235
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Whew, long thread!

I personally couldn’t be a stay-at-home-wife. I respect people who can, who are motivated to fill the hours with things that aren’t work, but I like my work and a lot of my validation of self-worth comes from being successful in the academic setting. My husband and I bring in about the same amount of $, and it helps to consider each other equals in every fashion, including money. We also connect on that level by coming home and talking about our respective days and contributing/understanding each others situations with bosses, coworkers, customers/patients, etc. If I were at home all day, I’d be doing the things I already do (clean, cook gourmet meals, etc) but I’d have to find things that helped me find similar fulfillment and I don’t think I’d be able to find those as easily without a job. I’d feel dependent on my husband. I’m not even sure that once we have kids I’ll stay at home fulltime because I think that you can be 100% present both at work and at home once you find a balance.

Luckily, there are women out there who are fulfilled in different ways and that’s the beauty of having such a choice 🙂

Post # 236
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@gatorhailey:

Beautifully said! That absolutely is the beauty of it. We all have the right to make our own decisions on what is right for US. I love a woman with eloquence and tact.

Post # 237
Member
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

YES!Tongue out

Post # 239
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

DEFINITELY not. I enjoy working and want to contribute financially to my household. I would also want to be able to support myself in the future if my husband died, got sick, lost his job, or if we got divorced. I know that I could theoretically reenter the workforce if any of those things happened, but in reality, women who leave the workforce even for a short period take a hit for the rest of their lives when they reenter in terms of salary and retirement savings. If I left the workforce I also doubt I would be able to reenter doing the same work I do now. I have a PhD and work in a somewhat technical field, and an employer is not going to hire someone in my field who had not been working for many years. (If someone had taken a short period of time off to have a child, or had been doing part-time consulting while they were out of the workforce, they probably could reenter…but not at the same level they’d be if they never left.)

My husband and I also believe very strongly in having equality in our relationship, and it would bother us greatly if we fell into traditional gender roles in our marriage. Even if I had money from another source, it would bother me to not work if my husband did. I would feel like we’d fall from being in a similar place intellectually, at least in terms of how we spend our days.

I do not plan on having children, but for these reasons (and some others) I also would continue to work full time if I did have kids.

We live in a very expensive area, and we would have to change our lifestyle a whole lot if either one of us stopped working or lost our jobs. Some of my coworkers are the only breadwinners in their families, and I don’t know how they do it!

And finally…I would be the world’s worst housewife! I hate cleaning, and my husband is the one who cooks.

Post # 240
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Even if this was an option, I’d feel pretty guilty about doing this as I’m sure he’d probably love to give up his job too, if he could.

Post # 241
Member
6610 posts
Bee Keeper

I enjoy time at home but I get antsy without a set schedule. 🙂

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