(Closed) Would you be a stay at home WIFE not mom…if you could?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@PinkBubbleGum: ITA!! I honestly should not have gone back for the master’s.. At the time I didn’t really know what I wanted to do so I just kept going to school.. Bad idea. If I could be a Stay-At-Home Wife now I would, but I deff plan on being a Stay-At-Home Mom.. I just hope to have my loans paid off before we have kids.

Post # 48
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee

If we had kids then yes, definetly. I would love to stay home and raise them like my mom was able to (that will never happen though, we need both incomes). Without kids though? I don’t know. Some days I wake up-like today when its snowing and gross out-and I would much rather stay home and clean, get some laundry done, and cook a nice dinner and take care of the house. But I don’t know if I could do it everyday, indefinetly. I like having a schedule, I like being challenged and coming home at the end of the day and feeling like I accomplished something. I would LOVE a month or 2 month vacation though to recharge 🙂

Post # 49
Member
1753 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think I could!

Not because I’m a huge feminist or anything but I don’t think I could stay at home and spend money doing whatever it is that I’m doing while seeing my husband work so hard. I just couldn’t.

So I would need at least a part time job or something.

To be honest if we were that rich that I could afford to stay at home we would probably start our own firm.

Post # 51
Member
881 posts
Busy bee

I think there are two camps to this question.  One is people that really actually enjoy their career/job and like the process of going out to work each day.  The other is seemingly those that don’t really love what they are doing or have a passion that isn’t their career (like horse riding, which would be hard to make a career! :P)

Great question, OP.  I love reading everyone’s different views on stuff like this.

Post # 52
Member
3786 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would LOVE to be a Stay-At-Home Wife. I was between jobs last summer for a few months and I adored it. I was able to keep our house clean, cook more, work out more and volunteer. We could do it financially but it would be tight. I don’t want Fiance to be stressed about money so I work. We are saving and doing everything we can so that it will be possibly when we have kids for me to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.

Post # 53
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@superplannerbee: I agree.. I love what I learned, but I have a history degree and sadly in this economy I can’t make much use of it. I am sure I would feel differently if I had a job where I could actually use my degree or if I was passionate about my career! The truth is, I’m not.

And I agree with

View original reply
@luckyprincess: I love working with animals and would love to spend more time volunteering at shelters, etc… but I don’t see how I could make a career out of it without going back to school to be a vet or something.

Post # 54
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Hell yes! I would be a stay at home wife if I could. Although I would continue to do volunteer work etc. Actually, if money was no object I would open a huge animals sanctuary for homeless animals on my huge beautiful farm (we are dreaming right) and I would run that so I guess it would still be a job-but a job I would love.

Post # 55
Member
5323 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@luckyprincess: I’d like to speak up for the minority third camp, SAHW! I love being here. I don’t resent it. I don’t feel like I’m wasting time or talent. I have a univeristy degree and a college diploma, neither or which was a waste, I wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t have those experiences. Different strokes for different folks 🙂

Post # 56
Member
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I get bored when I take the day off work or if I have to stay home sick.  I feel worthless, I don’t know why, but those days depress the shit out of me.  I think mainly when I got out of the military, I was unemployed for like 6 months, and it was AWFUL.  Ever since then, I just can’t stay home.  I would have to volunteer or something.  Start a club.  Take in a 1,000 animals.  I don’t know.  I’d be drinking at 10 am out of sheer boredom.  I would LOVE to do that, however, and get a Master’s, I could see that.  But picking up after my already-clean husband and I is not a full time job.

Post # 57
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

SIGN. ME. UP.

Post # 58
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

HELL YES I WOULD

Post # 59
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I once jokingly asked SO if I could be a stay at home fiance. He said no 🙁 lol

I would do this if fiance agreed, but I’d probably do it in order to go back to school or start my own etsy business.

Post # 60
Member
1337 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think it would be fun for a while. I could put more time into my Etsy shops, volunteer more, etc. and take yoga classes during the day.

But on the other hand, I would feel weird about not financially contributing, especially not even contributing to retirement. And I would feel like my education was a waste, unless I was volunteering somewhere like a legal clinic where I would actually use it. And it only takes a few minutes a day to keep the house clean, and we only do laundry once a week so its not like I would be doing that every day.

I’m surprised by the number of people who say they would be able to make gourmet meals if they didn’t have to work. Not to be a snob, but we both work 40+ hours a week, and have amazing, made from scratch meals every night (well sometimes we get take out if we’re in the mood!).  The more you cook, the quicker you get. It doesn’t take long at all to make “gourmet” level meals, under an hour, which we also use as time to chat about our days and have fun.

Post # 61
Member
4081 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

No way. I would be bored out of my mind! I was home for one month after surgery in November and thought I was going to lose my mind after just two weeks. I need to be around other adults and feel productive. Now, part-time…THAT would be perfect. If I only worked 4-5 hours per day and had those few extra hours each day to cook/clean…priceless!!!

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