(Closed) Would you be a stay at home WIFE not mom…if you could?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 77
Member
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@bakerella: Ditto, for almost everything you mentioned. I used to work part-time as an online English teacher but somehow the whole program ceased to exist. I’m now learning Swedish and go to language classes everyday for a few hours (I leave at 7am and return before 2pm) so it keeps me pretty busy. I’m also planning to open an Etsy shop and have a slew of DIY projects. I’m never, ever bored.

With that said, I do hope to find a job here, something I enjoy, even if its volunteering for a local community group. 

Have you ever gotten weird comments from friends when they find out you’re a stay-at-home wife? I’ve gotten a few odd remarks. One friend saw all my food pics I love posting on FB and said how “domesticated” I am now! Yes, she actually used those very words! My love for cooking is something new but I’ve always loved food so I’m don’t exactly know where that came from … BUT a mutual friend of ours, a guy, also used the same exact words!

Another friend asked outrightly, “How I like being a Swedish housewife?” WTF seriously?! I can’t help but be slightly offended – their tone isn’t just a joking thing, it’s a bewilderment on why anyone would want to stay home! Argh!!!

I also have a university degree and business background. I don’t get how some women look down at others lifestyle choices when I know some of them (my friend that called me domesticated) would be the same if she could.

Post # 78
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d say yes to being a stay at home wife, but that may be in part b/c my current job is not mentally stimulating and it doesn’t make me happy, besides getting that sweet direct deposit every two weeks 🙂  I feel like if I had more time in the week, I could make our house look really nice, go to yoga, work out every day, take my dogs on nice long walks, learn how to garden, learn how to cook, get back into playing piano, visit my grandparents more, spend more time with friends…  I’m pretty sure I could fill up my schedule really fast!

Post # 79
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If all of our savings/retirement/college fund for future kids was all SUPER padded and we could very easily live a comfortable life in addition to those savings…HELL YES I would stay home.

I could easily fill my day no problem! I would have to make sure I had a schedule that I stuck to, and got lots of stimulation/interaction from the outside!

Post # 80
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I am a Stay-At-Home Wife and I LOVE it and so does my husband.  He loves coming home for lunch every day and having lunch together.  I also keep the house clean, cook, run errands and do whatever we need to get done so we can play in the evenings and weekend.  It is also really nice being able to go on business trips with my husband without having to worry about taking off of work.  I did enjoy working in my career path and I am glad I got my degree, but staying at home is what my husband and I both want.  I wouldn’t change it for anything (except we are adding on to our family in July!) and I know we are blessed to be able to afford our lifestyle. 

I never thought I could be a Stay-At-Home Wife or Stay-At-Home Mom, but it is amazing how easily I adjusted to it.

Post # 82
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I wish.. but it will never happened.

I would love to have the time to workout daily to get ready to have kids in the future, i have constant back problem and neck stress from work, get time to finally use my cricut, learn to do real cooking, read the bible, sleep 8hrs a day. I wish I can have real meals waiting for hubby, and have a clean house with no piles of laundry when he comes home..

Post # 83
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

No way.  I didn’t bust my ass through college and law school to go to pilates class and garden all day.  I don’t understand women that have post graduate degrees and choose not to work.  It just doesn’t compute with me, as it seems like a horrible waste of an education (and the money wasted on that education, egads!)

I get a lot of vacation time at work so I’ll sometimes “play housewife” for a week every few months.  It’s fun for the first few days, then I get bored and depressed.  I mean, like @misstattoo said, there’s only so much cleaning that needs to be done.  I also manage to work out every day and cook dinner most every night, despite working 40 hours a week, so it is possible. I don’t understand why it has to be an either/or thing.

Finally, I would be loathe to be completely dependent on someone else financially.  It goes against every fiber of my being.  My mother would also be horrified.

In a perfect world, I’d work part-time.  But no work at all?  Never. 

Post # 84
Member
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

The FH and I can’t wait until after the wedding when I can be a Stay-At-Home Wife. We are fairly traditional when it comes life roles. FH works really long hard hours when he is working and has long periods of time when he is off. He loves it when I am home to take care of everything when he is working. When he is off, we would love to be able to go down to our cabin and spend that time there.

The fact of the matter is, FH will have a short life span because of his job and he wants to be able to spend as much of it with me as possible. I would do without a lot of things to spend that time with him.

Post # 85
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I totally would love to be a stay at home wife! But I am already a stay at home mom =)

Post # 86
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tksjewelry: What industry is he in that he has to worry about a shortened life span?!?!

Post # 87
Member
5323 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Vitsippa: Umm yes and no. I think mostly I get a lot of behind my back commentary that I’m aware exists but no one has really mentioned to me. A few very close friends have asked me how we can afford it and I’m honest about it (DH is not the sole breadwinner of our house, if that were the fact I couldn’t afford to stay home, I have other income sources than a 9-5 job). When other people who I don’t know as well ask, I just tell them I’m a lucky girl and change the subject. I’d say overall, my friends are understanding (if not a touch jealous at times) and we all joke around about my being a “domestic goddess”. Then again, a lot of my friends are also crafty women who are great at cooking, so we have a lot of that stuff in common. I honestly didn’t picture this as how my life would be, but I love it and I’m happy and that’s what matters at the end of the day. I used to volunteer at an animal shelter feeding kittens, but since we moved further away I haven’t been able to go, it just takes forever and a day to get there and back. I’d like to find somewhere else to volunteer, and I’ve been thinking about our local library once it reopens from renovations. I’d like to open an Etsy shop, but for whatever reason I’m terrified so I need to get over that and just do it, LOL! Whatever makes you happy right?

Post # 89
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think I could totally do this, but I certainly wouldn’t be sitting around doing nothing. I really want to work on my designs (I’m in school for Fashion Merchandising but my main love is designing). I plan to try to find a job doing Visual Merchandising (in store displays and the likes) but if I could stay at home and work on my original designs and sell them online that would be ideal. I would probably also do some freelance display work to help supplement my income.

As it is, I’m currently planning to have kids and be a work-at-home mom if we’re financially able, so it will be a similar gig just adding in a baby or two. It would obviously be easier without the kiddos, but Fiance and I want children so we have to plan for that. 

Post # 90
Member
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@R.ELLIOT – He is a boilermaker. He builds and maintains power plants. He welds all day and breaths in the most awful stuff not to mention the coal dust, plus he is always working around or covered in aspestos. Average retirement for his industry is 18 retirement checks, and they retire 8 years earlier then the average person.

Post # 91
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Out of sheer curiosity, I’ve got to ask:  for the women that are already Stay-At-Home Wife or would like to be, would you be ok with your husbands staying at home while you were the sole bread-winner (assuming you brought home more money than him)?

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