(Closed) Would you be a stay at home WIFE not mom…if you could?

posted 11 years ago in Married Life
Post # 92
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Actually, what would be more ideal for me is if I could work from home all day… but then again, I don’t know how I would stay motivated to actually do work.  Yeah, I need to work.

Post # 93
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@tksjewelry: Oh wow that sounds so hard!

Post # 94
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

YES! Although like others I would work part time or volunteer. I don’t think it would last long though, at some point I would need something else. But when I went back to work I would find a job that would be rewarding and not just a paycheck

Post # 95
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@ttn133: Same here.  I would find myself taking lots of “little naps” and and watching 90210. 

Post # 96
Member
5323 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@lezlers: Sure. So long as he was contributing to our household in another way (cooking, tidying up, laundry, whatever). DH is a guy with “projects” and he really wants to turn those projects into little businesses that sort of run themselves and require little interaction on his part so he can stay at home more. Sounds awesome to me!

Post # 97
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

for me personally, i don’t think i could, unless i volunteered like crazy and felt like i was doing something productive and contributing to society in some way. i don’t mean that to sound all self-righteous, it’s just i was really raised to believe in making a contribution. my parents LOVE their jobs, so the goal for me has always been to find a career doing something i love and that makes a positive impact on society. i was also raised in a super feminist household, so i don’t really buy into traditional gender roles. we split domestic chores, etc. actually, hubby on the other hand would probably LOVE to quit his job and focus on cooking/food blogging full time at home. too bad my grad student stipend prohibits that 😉

Post # 98
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i know women who are stay at home wives.  (and not moms).  i personally don’t see how they do it!  it would make me feel dependent and worthless to be honest (im NOT saying stay at home wives are worthless, just how it’d make me feel personally!).  but, i’m strongly indepedent, always have been.  i like the feeling knowing that if i had to, i can support myself, and stand on my own feet, and doesn’t rely on somoene else.  but that’s just me

Post # 99
Member
7086 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Lezlers – only of he could learn to do the laundry not in hot water, do the dishes so I didn’t have to redo them and clean the toilets correctly. If he could do all that and I made better money, then yup, he could stay home and I would be thrilled to get him out of his industry. He would never let that happen though, he hates it now that I am working. He has working mans guilt.

Post # 100
Member
2836 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That is what I am now (even though we have only been married for 2 weeks). I begin class tonight so I will have something else to do other than clean up all day. School is my priority right now, but once I am completely done if I don’t find a job I would volunteer.

Post # 101
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

Nope.  I wouldn’t stay home absent me taking care of our children or something else we deemed to be major.

Post # 102
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

@lezlers:  Absolutely.  As long as he was contributing to the household as I am now.  I didn’t hate working, I actually enjoyed it.  But I enjoy our time together more so it is ideal for us that I can stay home and have everything taken care of so our evenings and weekends are 100% free of chores and such.  I wouldn’t mind supporting him financially at all if the situation were turned around. 

Post # 103
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

YES

Post # 104
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve often wondered what I would do if given this option. Despite a lot of daydreaming about it, I really don’t think I could.

I know I would have a blast. I’d fill my days with volunteer work and taking classes and lessons. I’d have time to become the Jill of all Trades and Renaissance Woman I’ve always wanted to be. I’d spend more time with the people I love, I’d host awesome get-togethers and parties. I could have pets!

But I really, really hate the idea of being 100% financially dependent on another person as an adult, when there is no practical good reason why I shouldn’t be working. My independence is too important to me, it’s too much a part of my identity and self-esteem. For me, losing that independence would trump all the benefits of being a Stay-At-Home Wife. I could work part time, but I couldn’t not work at all.

Post # 105
Member
1182 posts
Bumble bee

I’m at stay-at-home fiancee right now. (unemployed but looking for a job!) And while it is nice to have all day to do ‘me’ things, and be able to have our place clean with yummy food on the table, I hate that the high point of my day is when my Fiance comes home. I don’t mind staying at home while he works, but I don’t want my entire day to revolve around him coming home… 

Post # 106
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Thanks for responding guys, that’s really comforting to know.  I was growing concerned that it was more of a gender issue than a monetary one for some of you and being 2011 and all, I found that…interesting. 

I still couldn’t do it, though.  Not in my wiring.

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