(Closed) Would you be a stay at home WIFE not mom…if you could?

posted 10 years ago in Married Life
Post # 154
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Maybe… more time to focus on writing. But even then, I might get restless and take a random part-time job to meet interesting people/gain more experiences to write about.

Post # 155
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Omg I would LOVE it. I am a freelance writer in addition to teaching, and I would love to concentrate all my efforts on writing for a while. But then again, I guess I would still be working, just from home. 

Post # 156
2236 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Never. You couldn’t PAY me to stay home and have to tell people I was a Stay-At-Home Wife. Fi and I have talked about me cutting down to part time once we have kids but that’s just because daycare is so expensive. I work over 40 hours a week, do all the laundry, keep the house tidy enough (although fi helps with cleaning), workout at least 4 times a week, and cook dinner every night. Yeah my days are busy, but I LOVE being productive. And I still have time to occasionally volunteer at the Humane Society and regularly work on wedding projects. I actually might start working part time on top of my regular job at weight watchers just because I’ve had so much success with the program. And I bake regularly too, fi has been enjoying home made cinnamon raisin bread toast for breakfast all week. I can HONESTLY say I have no idea what I would do with myself if I was a Stay-At-Home Wife.

Oh and dinner is usually ready by 530, but I work 730 to 4 (not 9 to 5).

Post # 157
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would LOVE to be a SAHW/M.  This is my dream lol.  There’s never enough time for the house to be clean, laundry done, dishes done, projects, etc.  If I could do these things all day I would be sooo happy!  I think my husband would be too b/c we both hate coming home to a dirty house or a sink full of dishes.  And I would love to be able to cook more but right now there is just no time!  If only…

Post # 158
1108 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve thought about it.  I like staying home to clean/run errands/have dinner ready/other crazy things.  

One of the first comments Fiance had when I started working was that he somewhat missed me being a bum, he could come home to a clean-ish house and dinner would be hot and ready 90% of the time.

For the area we’re in, it’s almost affordable, but it’d probably work better if he made about 10k more a year.  

I also don’t think my parents would approve, having spent so much money on my schooling for me to stay at home.

Post # 159
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Fiance is in the Navy, so we’ll be moving all over once he is done training.  I still want to work part time on base or something until we have kids, but I want to spend as much time with him as possible in case he gets deployed.

Ideally, I want to figure out something I can do online and work from home so I wouldn’t have to keep trying to find a job everytime we move.

Post # 160
6013 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Haha!! SO and i were talking and since I’ll have to leave my job, then move with him and find one, that there will be a time where i’m unemployed.  He said that’s fine as long as dinner is on the table when he comes home and I pick up the slack around the house.  I tossed out … how about i go to the gym and do the grocery shopping … he laughed and said it could just work out! 

Post # 161
1058 posts
Bumble bee

Yes Definitely!!!!!!

Post # 162
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m a Stay-At-Home Wife and I’m about ready to climb the walls. Sure, cooking and cleaning keep me busy, but after awhile it all gets very boring. But because of the crap job market it’s looking more and more likely that I’ll be a SAHW indefinitely. Thank God for volunteer work and hobbies.

Post # 163
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I wouldn’t work if I didn’t have to. Kids or not. I’m like a clean freak–so even not having a job I could spend all day cleaning if I wanted to. Plus it would give me time to start a garden, or really excel at a hobby. Maybe take a class. I get easy overwhelmed at work…so it just has a negative orb around it. I might do some volunteer work somewhere. Shew possibilities are endless! But I would most appreciate it if I had kids, bc I think its really important that one of the parents be home with the kids often. I know that day care is also good for children, so idk. I would definitely stay home if I could.

Post # 164
478 posts
Helper bee

My SO and I do not want children at all, in fact, it’s one of the main reasons I decided to enter into a relationship with him, BECAUSE he didn’t want kids.

Before I moved in with him, I was working part time (25 hrs a week) and going to school full time. I made it clear to him that my intentions when I graduated were to remain part time. I wanted to only work part time, and the lifestyle I was living by myself could be supported by working part time.

I wanted to be able to pursue other interests or just relax being that I didn’t want kids. I feel that’s a decision I have the right to choose. If I choose not to have children because I don’t want the extra work and stress, or don’t want to have to work full time to support them then I feel I am entitled to that decision.

A normal day for me consists of me waking up at 3am, doing yoga, then going to work at 5am. I work until 10 am and then have the rest of the entire day to do whatever I please. Today for example, I sat at Starbucks and read for four hours. Yesterday I went shopping, and tomorrow I’m going skiing. Other days I just nap. Am I lazy? I don’t think so! Am I selfish? For what, wanting to live my life how I choose? I think not. Do I get bored? Sometimes, but very rarely.

I have full intention of taking various classes to fill my time (ie: cooking, yoga, pottery making, piano, jujitsu, etc…). Not having children and being able to nurture my relationship with my SO, travel the world with him, relax with him, and not stress over work like a lot of people with children do is a choice I’ve made that I feels affords me the lifestyle that I want.

I’m not 100% a “stay at home wife” but I’m pretty damn close. I love my life and I wouldn’t change it for the world.


Post # 165
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@superplannerbee: Do you still have the link to the article that inspired this thread? I’d love to read it.

And yes, I would love to be a stay at home wife. It isn’t that I would love to clean the house and cook all the time, but I’d enjoy having a clean house and delicious meals. Someone has to do it, and it’s a lot of work at night and over the weekends (even with my fiance doing half of the work) to keep up with laundry, cleaning, meals, and two dogs – as well as exercising and wedding planning. Yikes. I know some women enjoy doing all of that in addition to a career, and obviously I know everyone is capable of doing it, but if you don’t enjoy being that busy, then what’s the problem with readjusting?

I just asked my fiance about this too, and he said he’d be perfectly happy with me staying home as long as we were very comfortable financially on his salary. Maybe in the next few years Wink

Post # 166
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

it sounds interesting but i wouldn’t want to. i kind of experience that now since i’m looking for work and really, i don’t do much cleaning OR cooking anyway. lol. even though i live with my mom and she knows how to cook, neither one of us really cooks! i have no idea how i’m surviving at this point.

but in the end, i’m BORED and really ready to be back at work. at least to do something other than be at home.

Post # 167
5117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would love to be a Stay-At-Home Mom, but I’m not sure I would find enough to do as a Stay-At-Home Wife to keep me busy and mentally stimulated. Sometimes I get that O.o look from people when I say that we hope to pay off our student loans quickly so that one of us can be home with our kids (or find a way to swing part time for both of us, etc). With the cost of daycare, we figured it makes just as much sense to work it out that one of us is there with them instead. Having some type of part-time legal job may be difficult to line up, but it’s my dream, at least until my (future) children are school-age. 

Post # 168
875 posts
Busy bee

I think that there are so many things to do as community projects as well as household things that you’d never be bored, and the idea that not being paid makes you lazy… is an invalid way of thinking.  I really hate the concept that people judge others on how they are using their educations by how much money they collect or if they are paid for their work.  I am a substitute teacher and have found myself in an unusual position of being employed but having more “at home time” than the average instructor.  That being said, I’m also on call throughout the school year.  The days I’m home, I am constantly finding things that need to be completed or activities that I can volunteer my time and talents for…  I have a huge pile of crafting projects to complete, and I find that the skills that I would really like to learn are skills that were never taught in the classroom, but would be very useful to life…

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