(Closed) Would you…

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think that if it comes up, you need to be honest, but I don’t see a need to announce that you slept with others while you were apart. Has he explictly said you are still the only person he has been with since you broke up? If not, perhaps he has been with others too.

I do think honesty is the key, but, frankly, you were broken up and what you did in that time and the details of what you did are none of his business, nor is who he dated/slept with/etc any of your business. What you choose to share should be up to you 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you need to tell him out of the blue. Even if he explicitly asks, it’s still really not his business, so you could say you don’t want to talk about it, if you don’t.

Post # 5
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t admit to it just because.  If he doesn’t ask what you were doing when you were split, then don’t go there.  The past is the past.  Leave it at that.

Post # 6
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

Just to clarify, are you planning to reconcile and work on these as in become friends again, or start dating again?  If you are just going to be friends, I would not tell him.  If you are looking to start dating again, you shouldn’t hide something like this from him and tell him.  Aaaand if you didn’t use protection, you need to tell him either way.

Post # 7
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hell no.

Post # 8
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@KT808:  agreed ! HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL no. Are you crazy?! lol

Post # 11
Member
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Honesty is the best policy.  I would tell him.  But I’ve always been very open about my sexual history with people I’ve been with, so it’s a no-brainer for me.

Post # 12
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Man, that’s a tough call. Part of me wants to say that what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. I think telling him will make it more difficult to patch things up, even if you weren’t officially cheating. Maybe keep quiet unless he asks or he brings it up. Otherwise, the past is the past. No use dragging it into the present so it can affect your future relationship. 

Post # 13
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Listen when I tell you, HONESTY is NOT always the best policy. This actually isn’t even a case of being honest- you didn’t lie to him it’s just that some things are better off kept to yourself or it will just create unneccessary drama! I am telling you, do not do it, the past is the past for a reason, if you want to start fresh then start fresh! You didn’t cheat on him, you did nothing wrong and offering to tell him this information will do more harm than good. DON’T do it!

Post # 14
Member
3451 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Dell79:  I agree.

I also think that most guys don’t care to know this stuff, at least in my experience this has been true.  I know a lot of females (myself included) like to know everything (even if it will drive us crazy) and sometimes talk about our past without being asked for it.  There have been times I’ve offered up information about my sexual history to my Fiance and he’s said “I didn’t need that image in my head.”   In a previous relationship, admitting to my ex that I went on a date with someone else while we were broken up caused problems.  I heard things like “How could you move on so quickly? You must not have really cared for me.”… even though he broke it off with ME to go back to an ex of his.  It just creates conflict.  So yeah, if you didn’t cheat, it’s probably best to keep it to yourself.

Post # 15
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would tell him.

Darling Husband and I broke up for a few months while we were dating and I made out with someone during our break-up (so like you, not cheating).  When we got back together, I told him.  I felt he had the right to know plus we’d always been open about these things before, why should it be different because we are reconciling?

Post # 16
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

He doesnt need to know. You were broken up.  My SO doesnt even want to THINK that i was with anyone before him.  Because it honestly doesn’t matter. 

As long as you didnt get anything (get tested, i dont care if protection was used get tested) from this dude, he doesnt need to know. 

Good luck!

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