(Closed) Would you accept the gift being returned?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: I would
    Never accept the gift back : (21 votes)
    22 %
    Always accept the gift back : (12 votes)
    13 %
    Only accept it back if the wedding was called off : (28 votes)
    30 %
    Accept it back if the wedding was called off or the marriage was annulled : (20 votes)
    21 %
    Accept it back if the marriage only lasted a certain period of time : (7 votes)
    7 %
    Other : (6 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @AB Bride:  Probably not, just because I’d feel like they’d been through enough without having to mess around with returning gifts.  Maybe if it was before the wedding, but unless they sent it to me, or someone actually handed it to me, even then, I don’t think I would

    Post # 4
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Actually yes. If the wedding doesn’t go through people do give the gifts back.

    My parents gave a gift to a couple getting married who ended up not. The ex-bride wrote a letter to my mom and enclosed a gift card for the returned value.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Depends on the situation. There are so many variables.

    Say its a close female friend and she is having trouble making ends meet and I know the check/present will go to her, then I would tell her to keep it.

    If it were a distant cousin and both we well off enough and the wedding was cancelled before I went there (but I sent the check) then I wouldnt ask for it back, but if they returned it I would accept it.

    etc

    Post # 7
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee

    I would say that if the wedding was called off then I would def accept the gift back

    Post # 8
    Member
    458 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I would be upset if I sent a gift early and the wedding was called off. I’m pretty sure I’d expect the gift back.

    Post # 9
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Regardless of how long it lasted or if they went through with it -if they offered to give it back I would accept it. Otherwise I would suck it up and move on.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Uhh YEAH!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2891 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    That so depends! What did I give? 

    Money and the wedding never happened no because I would feel so bad for her having spent so much, probably owing still more and nothing but hurt to show for it. With how expensive weddings are today I must be a close friend to be invited and  friends share each others burdens 😀

    A tangible gift like a doormat with their last name I would take back and try to find it a new home if it meant calling up random Johnson’s in the phone book lol. What girl needs to look at that slap in the face?

    If the marriage was annulled it would be the same. If the couple divorced I would not expect anything back. That is just silly and would only agree to take it back if the  reminder was just to painful to look at. I actually have been offered things back after a divorce because they wanted no reminders and I always find someone who desperately needs said item….except for that lava lamp….yeah. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    974 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Voted other.  I’d tell them one of them should keep it, but if neither wanted it I’d take it back.  If I didn’t want/couldn’t use it I’d give it to someone who needed/wanted it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    635 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    It definitely depens on what the gift was and how close I am to the couple. If it were my sister or best friend, I’d tell her to keep it b/c she would either still be able to use the item or need the money. Coworker or distant family member? I would take it back, depending on the circumstances behnd the breakup.

    It also depends on whether the breakup happens before or after the wedding. Before or immediately after (I’m talking days to maybe 2-3 weeks after), I probably would expect some sort of acknowledgement that they are offering the gift back, even if I end up saying they can keep it. Any longer after the wedding, I wouldn’t expect the offer.

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