Post # 17
I would be open to adoption but I also would like biological children of my own. I really want to experience pregnancy and giving birth.
@IheartNYC: “In some states, the mom can change her mind for a certain number of days after she gives birth”
This happened to my aunt and uncle. They paid for all of the pre-natal care for a woman who then gave birth and changed her mind and decided to keep the baby. My aunt and uncle were out a lot of money and had to go home to an empty nursery. They did ultimately successfully adopt two daughters though. 🙂
Post # 18
@figgnewton: Yes, and we plan on it when our children are a bit older.
Post # 19
Did they get any of that money back?! I sure hope they would):
Post # 20
I have always been terrified of pregnancy, even from a young age. What pregnancy does your body and the act of delivery is probably the biggest reason for waiting (TTC in a few months). If I could adopt I would without question.
Post # 21
It depends. If it was an adoption where I was aware of the mother’s situation and she was drug and alcohol free, then absolutely.
If it were a blind adoption or a foster to adoption situation, probably not. And if for some reason we decided to, it would have to be an infant. Please do not think I am heartless. I worked in the social work field until recently, working for DHS as a case manager. Many of the children I worked with had severe fetal alcohol syndrome, were babies that had tested positive for various drugs, etc. Those children had mild to severe behavioral issues or medical issues that i do not believe I would be a good mother for. many children also have RAD which is reactive attachment disorder. I personally worked with a family who was fostering a child effected by meth that had RAD. This little girl was trying to harm the family’s biological son. I would rather not take my chances with adopting a child from the system.
so, private adoption through an agency with a drug tested mom, yes, maybe. Otherwise, no.
Post # 22
oh my goodness! Of course, the birth mother should have a right to change her mind but it’s very very sad for the adoptive parents. I’m glad to hear they were able to have kids after that but I can’t imagine the heartbreak they must have felt at that time!!
Post # 23
Totally do not think you are heartless. I totally agree on the infant part and so does DH. He said no to a teenager.
Post # 24
Yes, we plan on it! I want biological children but DH has two adopted siblings and we want to be able to give a child in need a great life.
Post # 25
I know Fiance wants to have a biological child, but we have also talked about adopting if we decide we would like more children (I have a 4 year old from a previous relationship). We would also like to foster children when any kids we have are a bit older. I know my sister and her partner plan to adopt, as neither one of them has any interest in carrying a child but they love and want kids!
Post # 26
I would love to adopt, whether or not we could have children of our own.
Post # 27
You can adopt FOR FREE. Adoption does not have to cost a lot. There are over 150,000 children with their parental rights already terminated in the US foster system (which means you wouldn’t be fostering while waiting/hoping that the parents would terminate their rights – they already have). Adopting through the foster system is free and even comes with health benefits for the child. During National Adoption Day, lawyers give their services for free to finalize those adoptions.
We would adopt before taking extreme fertility measures like IVF.
Post # 29
The adoption process scares me as much as IUI or IVF. We would adopt if it came to that, though we’d like to try for our own first. Adoption has always been an option for us. 🙂
Post # 30
No. DH and I are are TTC and have (obviously) already had the “what if we’re not able to conceive…” talk. We both agreed that adoption wasn’t the right choice for us (but have mad respect for those who do!!!) We’ll be crazy-doxie lovin’ couple if that’s the case 😉
Post # 31
Yes, my fiance and I have already discussed this. We plan on having two children of our own and adopting a 3rd child.