- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
UM NO. Definitely not aha.
UM NO. Definitely not aha.
I don’t think so, and my dress hasn’t even been made yet, and I really doubt I’ll sell it.
In your case, definitely not! Worst case scenario, you lose a Facebook friend, or two, if you also know her best friend who sides with her on principle or something like that. And your alteration concerns are very valid. If you want her to look beautiful on her wedding day, but preserve the integrity of your dress, it’s your duty to say no!
Also, I would suggest she look into local tailors who can make her a dress inspired by yours. A lot of the time they can work faster than a company like Jasmine’s, and she can be involved in the process. I don’t know what her budget is or how complicated your dress is, but I’m getting a relatively complicated custom dress (with high quality fabric I get to choose myself to make sure it looks and feels right!) for about $2000, and I consider that reasonable for a dream dress.
I would consider it for very special circumstances, but definitely not in your case.
Not a chance.
She didn’t even really ask you.. She just strongly hinted at it and made it weirdly uncomfortable :
No way would I let someone I’m not close with borrow my dress.
Are you even invited to her wedding?! Haha
In this situation I wouldn’t. I would be so afraid of it getting ruined or not getting it back. I’ve been burned too many times loaning things out before and something that costs as much as a wedding dress would not leave my possession unless I was selling it. If it was best friend and she really needed it then I would loan it to her in a heartbeat but she wouldn’t have to alter it and I know she would take care of it and give it back, I don’t think you could trust a FB friend like that, especially one who sounds like shes just trying to save some money.
Thank you ladies! I’m going to sleep on it tonight, but I’m fairly certain I will be telling her no. I paid, in my opinion, a lot for this dress, so giving it to her is not an option for me. I had it perserved in a way that has a clear front, so I can see my dress (and I won’t lie, I’ve looked at it several times – to me, it’s like flipping through my wedding album). Yes, the dress is just fabric, and the pictures are just pixels and paper, but they both hold memories for me.
I would also not be okay with something happening to the dress (stained, torn, or otherwise damaged), and I really would not be comfortable with her altering the dress to fit her, then have her return it to me. I plan on keeping my dress forever, so selling it to her is not an option either. It hurts to say no to her, but at the same time, I have to honor my feelings on this, not just hers.
I am flattered that she loves my dress, and I wish I weren’t the type to be sentimentally attached, and that I could help her out, but it just doesn’t seem like it’s going to work out that way.
I will be telling her about all of the other options she has (local seamstress, Jasmines, Pre-owned dresses), and while I don’t know her budget, I could see these being very affordable options if she is worried about costs! I mean, for what I paid for dress preservation, she could put that money towards her own dress (and if I were to let her borrow my dress I would expect her to pay for my gown to be preserved exactly as I had it before, from the same exact place.)
Thanks again ladies! Like always, extremely helpful. Keep replying though, I love seeing everyone’s opinions on this.
I’m honestly not sure if I’d ever let anyone borrow my dress. In your situation, I would say HECK NO! It’s your dress, you’re allowed to be as sentimental as you want about it! And especially since you two are close at all. Just awkward!
No way. Unless she was dying of some tragic disease and her last wish was to borrow my dress for her ceremony. Then maybe.
Maggie has a line of dresses done in 6 weeks or less, DB’s dresses arrive in 12 weeks or less… SHe has other options!
If they were the same size and we were super close, I’d have no problem with it. My aunt borrowed my mom’s dress. I would deff have a “you break it, you buy it” clause though. 😛
But I would certainly not be okay with allowing it to be altered to fit someone else. No, it’s my dress, it’s supposed to be made to fit me…
I donated my dress to a thrift shop. No emotional attachment to it – it’s just a dress. If someone had wanted to borrow it before I donated it, certainly.
I plan to donate my dress to charity after the wedding. She could buy it from there! I’m not overly sentimental when it comes to clothing, so I think it would be weird to get attached to the dress. I donated all of my prom/formal dresses too. I can promise that my future daughters (if any) will not want to wear my dress. It is going to scream this decade.
I’m never going to wear it again and chances are that my daughter(s) (if we have any) won’t want to wear it so I would sell it to her.
But given your feelings, no….you shouldn’t. You’re clearly not ok with the idea and nobody says you have to be.
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