Would you allow your partner to risk life to have child?

posted 8 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you allow your partner to risk death to have a child
    No way : (93 votes)
    89 %
    If they really really wanted to and there was no other way : (12 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 2
    8960 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    lauralaura123 :  There is an almost infinite number of other explanations between the over-simplified “he doesn’t care” and the oddly specific other scenario. I can’t answer the poll because I don’t understand the concept of “letting” or “allowing” another grown adult do something. Also, is there any situation where having a child would result in health risks to a man? So it’s an especially odd question to be asking a site that is mostly women.

    Post # 3
    5163 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2017

    lauralaura123 :  there are always risks with pregnancy. Nothing is risk-free and you can’t foresee everything. It’s a personal choice, no right or wrong. If someone wants a child badly enough they might be willing to risk everything. No judgement.

    Post # 4
    6696 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    This is the WOMAN’s choice, no one else’s. No, as a spouse I wouldn’t want to see my partner risk their life (not that a man can really risk his life in a pregnancy), but it wouldn’t be my decision because they are an adult, capable of deciding those things and evaluating the risks on their own. Some people feel their lives wouldn’t be complete unless they had a biological child, and who am I to say they cannot attempt that?

    Post # 5
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    It’s not the partners choice to make.

    Post # 6
    6854 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I don’t own my partner’s body so I think the word “allow” needs to be tossed right out the window… 

    Post # 7
    81 posts
    Worker bee

    Well I believe the situation is more of an actively participating to get pregnant vs. allow but whatever. As a woman I can only answer for my SO and no, he would shut down any talk of a baby if there were high risks involved. Of course childbirth is risky by nature but I am talking additional very severe risks on top of it. No way my SO would participate to get me pregnant in that situation. 

    Post # 8
    1265 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019


    My partner doesn “allow” me to do anything.

    If my life was at risk, I would be the only one to make that call. If anyone else has even the smallest input, it means they have a sense of control over my motality and that’s just not ok.

    Post # 9
    360 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015


    It’s not a choice either of us would make. Especially for a second child. I would not risk a 50% chance of leaving my son without his mother. If we wanted more children we would look into adoption. 

    Whilst it is the woman’s body I think the partner should get a say in the decision and be heard. They will be the one left as a single parent if the worst happens.

    Post # 11
    3068 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It is the woman’s choice to undergo pregnancy. All pregnancy comes with risk. 

    I have a friend who, had she lived in another time or country would have died having her children. She is well aware of this fact as is her husband. She is catholic and will only use natural family planning. 

    She wanted a third baby, her husband didn’t want her to go through that again. They have decided not to have any more. She acknowledges that her hormonal brain wants a baby, but her logical brain agrees with her husband.


    because of her religion they are technically having unprotected sexlauralaura123 :  

    Post # 12
    1028 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    Personally,  I think someone has to be a little mentally unhinged to go ahead with a pregnancy that has a 50/50 shot of killing you.  It’s pretty selfish to know that you’ll probably be leaving your so as a single parent,  even worse if you already have kids that you’d be leaving behind.  (My statement only applies if you live in a place with affordable/accessible/safe abortion)  I also think that while it’s a completely stupid decision, it’s their stupid decision to make. Luckily,  I’ll never be in that situation.  Not only because I’m a straight woman who doesn’t want kids but because my so and I both know how fragile life is.  We don’t knowingly put ourselves in high risk situations that could cut our lives with each other shorter than it has to be.  

    Post # 13
    1545 posts
    Bumble bee

    Either you’re pro choice or you’re not. 

    This would get a side eye; but it’s her decision, not yours.   Not his. 

    Post # 14
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t feel we can “allow” anyone. They have their own power to choose. I would not want my spouse to make that choice, but ultimately  it is their choice/life. 

    Post # 15
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee

    Mmm being the female I personally wouldn’t have a child if that was the risk and my husband wouldn’t want me to either. We would be happy with fur babies or exploring adoption.

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