Would you allow your partner to risk life to have child?

posted 4 months ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you allow your partner to risk death to have a child
    No way : (92 votes)
    88 %
    If they really really wanted to and there was no other way : (12 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    8317 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Given the OP’s posting history, l think this is just another of her idle passing-the-time questions and l hope sincere bees are not getting upset by it.

    Post # 47
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    My husband and I already talked about this before TTC. He saw the article about the woman having cancer and forgoing treatment to have the child, and she died right after the baby was born. We discussed it and confirmed that we agree – my life is more important than the unborn child’s. I don’t want to have children just to procreate, I want to be a mother. My sister passed years ago and I can’t do that to my parents either. Darling Husband doesn’t want to lose me just to have a child to raise on his own, and he said he would look at that child in sadness knowing that I died to have it. 

    I agree the OP may have phrased things a little weird saying “allowing”, but the update makes more sense. Before pregnancy, it is absolutely in the husbands right to make a decision to not get pregnant, however that may be (vasectomy, etc.). If the woman is already pregnant and then found out it was life threatening, I think it should still be a joint decision even though it is HER body, she would selfishly be leaving her husband behind to raise a child alone. To all you saying her body her choice, does the person who will become a single grieving father not get ANY say in this at all? What if he resents the child for killing his wife and the child grows up having issues because of that? 

    Post # 48
    Member
    390 posts
    Helper bee

    temeculabride :  I think you made the best post about this. I’ve seen plenty of stories of the same situation of a mother refusing treatment to carry their baby to term (I think even Grey’s Anatomy covered this concept). Ultimately yes it is the mother’s choice (her body after all), but I agree that it does need to be something discussed with a partner with much consideration.

    Just my opinion, but if a woman has a high chance of dying from being pregnant and she continues to do so without consideration of who might be affected…that’s kind of selfish. You brought up the point of potential resentment the living parent and family members would feel towards the child, but I don’t know how I would feel if I had to grow up knowing that my life inadvertently killed my mother. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    TeacherBee323 :  Exactly! The husband, grandparents, other family/friends and unborn child are all affected by this decision – it is incredibly selfish. So many women on this thread are saying their body their choice and no one can decide that for them, but they are forgetting the repercussions of that in the long run. The child could end up with severe issues knowing it killed its mother, neglected, abused, in foster care, etc. We have too many people in the world to want to procreate just to make more humans – you need to think of the life the child will have without a mother and quite possibly an emotional and disgruntled father. It’s essentially suicide for the life of the unborn child, and while I do understand mental illness I think suicide is selfish in its own right too. You leave everyone else behind you to pick up the pieces, and in this case, raise the child that killed you on top of it. 

    Leave a comment


    Find Amazing Vendors