(Closed) Would you ask this girl to be a bridesmaid?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If I were asked by my Future Sister-In-Law who I don’t hang out with and haven’t been around hardly at all to be a bridesmaid I would feel awkward. That is just me though. I feel bridesmaids should be who you are closest to and if I wasn’t close to the person asking I would politely decline. I would also wonder if my family pushed them into it or something to make them ask me.

Post # 5
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I wouldn’t because it could be a recipe for disaster but it wouldn’t be weird. 

Post # 7
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@jackndiane:Yeah, if you guys were closerI would say go for it, or if you knew she wanted to be in the wedding party again I would say go for it. But if she really hasn’t said anything about it I wouldn’t. I have been asked by a casual friend (more of a co-worker than anything else) to be her bridesmaid and it was awkward as hell because I barely knew her and didn’t know how to turn her down without hurting her.

Post # 8
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would not ask her because she isn’t your SIL and you don’t really know her.

ETA:  if you did know her and you were close, I would say include her (regardless of FBIL’s intentions to propose). 

Post # 9
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

What if they break up and you have this girl in your wedding pictures? This happened to a fiend of mine. She dated a guy for years and everyone was sure they would get married. Well, they ended up breaking up and she had been in his sister’s wedding. Big framed family picture hanging on the sister’s wall.

Ok, so that really isn’t that big of a deal. How far a way is your wedding? If you have time, I would maybe wait until the holidays when you are bound to see them and see if you feel like you are getting to know her any better. I would also maybe run it by Future Mother-In-Law and see what she thought.

Post # 10
Member
1686 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

How long until your wedding? Maybe you could spend some time getting to know her better, then ask. I was reading a post the other day, or maybe an article somewhere, on reasons to wait to choose your bridal party.

Post # 11
Member
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t know, I wouldn’t ask her. Since you’ve only met a few times, even though you like her, she’s not one of your closest friends. So you’d be asking her because you expect her to be your sister-in-law soon. You’re probably right, but that also might put some kind of weird pressure on her or her boyfriend that you didn’t intend. I just wouldn’t go there.  

Post # 14
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@jackndiane:recipe for disaster because you don’t know her that well.  You don’t know for sure if she will respond when you need her to, buy her dress on time, whether you can be honest with her, etc… and that can put a strain on any future relationship you might have with her.  Also, as @penguinsaremyfriends: said, what if they break up? 

I would just see how it goes when it gets closer.  There is no law that says you have to ask all your BM’s at the same time.  You can wait.  And she can still be just as involved without being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

Post # 15
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I haven’t read the other responses, but I think that you should choose girls who you know well and really want to have by your side to be bridesmaids. I do think, though, that it would be a nice gesture to include this girl in some family pictures and such.

Post # 16
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think the answer is obvious from this statement you made

I really don’t have a preference regarding making her a bridesmaid or not. I think it would be nice, but I don’t care one way or another” 

You should care deeply for the individuals that will be standing up there with you IMO.

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