(Closed) Would you attend a reception if you were not invited to the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Would you attend a wedding reception if you were not invited to the ceremony?
    I would not attend the reception if not invited to the ceremony : (21 votes)
    34 %
    If I wasn't invited 2 the ceremony but had the option of watching it on a big screen I would attend : (1 votes)
    2 %
    I would try to find another location for my ceremony to accomodate all of my guest : (23 votes)
    37 %
    I would attend the reception if I was not invited to the ceremony : (17 votes)
    27 %
  • Post # 3
    5106 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Um, so I was prepared to say that I would totally not mind about not being invited to a ceremony but attending the reception, I’ve done it before for several weddings where there was either not enough room or they wanted family only.

    BUT, if I was kept in the dark about not being allowed into the ceremony and I show up and have to wait outside I would be slightly perturbed and annoyed.

    She needs to let guests know this beforehand. I’m sure no one would mind just coming to the reception, but she might have some pissed guests who attend neither if she doesn’t give them the full scoop…

    Post # 4
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I don’t know… I don’t like the guests being seperated into the lucky half and “the rest” who get to sit in a seperate room and watch it on TV.  That’s a bit insulting to those people.

    If it were me, I’d only invite 80 to both, and invite the other 70 to the reception only (explaining that due to limited space, they are welcome to watch it on a screen if they would really like to see the ceremony.)  My guess is most people would just want to show up to what they can participate in.

    Post # 5
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I probably wouldnt attend…missing the ceremony and only attending the party kinda defeats the purpose of the idea of witnessing the marriage you know? For Destination Wedding its different..

    Post # 6
    26 posts
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I’m with Mrs.tobe, I would be annoyed if I showed up for a ceremony only to have to sit in a different room watching it on a screen. But if I had a fair warning, I wouldn’t mind too much.

    If she has a WEDsite, or has people RSVPing by phone/email she should mention the big screen tv viewing.

    Post # 8
    637 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    If the invitation said “family only ceremony” and the start time for the reception was made clear, then I probably wouldn’t mind. If she is going to go that route though, I think it would be better for her to choose who she wants at the ceremony vs first come, first serve for the 80 seats. I would be more annoyed if I really tried to make it to the ceremony, only to find that there were no more seats so I think she should definitely consider narrowing down who gets seats. Just makes things easier in my opinion.

    Post # 9
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think that you can write an invite for just the reception, and tell them that they can watch the ceremony in a room before hand, but not the actual ceremony.

    I had a cousin who had way more ppl at her reception than ceremony, but it was at diff loccations.

    Post # 10
    4124 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    As much as I love a reception.  I love a ceremony more.  That said, in the UK it’s perfectly acceptable to send “reception only” invites.  And I agree with PPs about saying “family only cermony” on the invites.

    Post # 11
    921 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @mrsjjohnson2b:I’ve been to weddings where it was just a reception, and the ceremony was family only. So long as the line is drawn very carefully, it’s simple. Most people only *really* want to see the reception anyway. 🙂

    Post # 12
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I think it’s perfectly reasonable for her to NOT invite everyone to her ceremony. If it was me, though, I would limit the ceremony to just close family. Categorizing it this was would be less offensive (e.g., why did THAT cousin get to go to the ceremony and this cousin did not?!). 

    That having been said… she absolutely 100% needs to tell everyone what they’re being invited to. I’m sure there are invitation wording examples that are reception only. 


    Good luck!

    Post # 13
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    haha i was gonna say ‘ No, Id never attend a reception if I wasnt invited to the wedding” — but then if i have to watch it off the big screen in another room. obviously it depeds on my relationship with the bride. If Im a close friend then Id be offended and sad, if Im a distant friend I guess I wouldnt be offended but a little suprised? find it a little weird?

    Post # 14
    5762 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It wouldn’t bother me at all to just be invited to the reception. As a matter of fact, lots of people have always skipped the ceremony anyway and only showed up for the reception (especially if there was a long gap in between), so I’m guessing they wouldn’t really mind very much. I always felt bad seeing half empty churches since I think it’s the most important part, but lots of people really don’t see it the same.

    I think she should invite those she wants/can fit in to the ceremony, and invite the rest to the reception. The difficulty may be in deciding who would be offended by that seperation, which I would think would be family and close friends.

    Post # 15
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I did this and it was fine.  There are always people LATE to the ceremony anyway, and most people I found to be REALLY understanding about it.  I only had to cut a few people, but it ended up working out (some people who weren’t invited showed up and some people who were were late and missed it), so it worked out.

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