Post # 1
I’m doing a poll for my sis who is not a Bee, I know she sucks!! Anyway, her ceremony space only holds 80 ppl the bridal party is 26 people. Her guest list is up to about 150. Now, its not that she wants an intimate ceremony, its just that space is limited. The venue offered her a room where they would but a big screen TV so the people that are not able to fit in the ceremony space can watch the ceremony in there.
She said finding another location for the ceremony is not an option. I’m not to sure if she is letting her guest know that there is limited seating or if they will find out when they get there. I totally disagree with that and told her she needed to let them know. The ceremony and reception is being help in the same location, but the reception will be in a ballroom with enough space to accomodate her guest list.
I totally understand that people have a ceremony with just family and after have a reception and that I don’t mind but I think it will be kind of rude to have you guest at the location sitting there waiting for you ceremony that they can’t see to be over and then go to the reception.
What do you guys think?
Post # 3
Um, so I was prepared to say that I would totally not mind about not being invited to a ceremony but attending the reception, I’ve done it before for several weddings where there was either not enough room or they wanted family only.
BUT, if I was kept in the dark about not being allowed into the ceremony and I show up and have to wait outside I would be slightly perturbed and annoyed.
She needs to let guests know this beforehand. I’m sure no one would mind just coming to the reception, but she might have some pissed guests who attend neither if she doesn’t give them the full scoop…
Post # 4
I don’t know… I don’t like the guests being seperated into the lucky half and “the rest” who get to sit in a seperate room and watch it on TV. That’s a bit insulting to those people.
If it were me, I’d only invite 80 to both, and invite the other 70 to the reception only (explaining that due to limited space, they are welcome to watch it on a screen if they would really like to see the ceremony.) My guess is most people would just want to show up to what they can participate in.
Post # 5
I probably wouldnt attend…missing the ceremony and only attending the party kinda defeats the purpose of the idea of witnessing the marriage you know? For Destination Wedding its different..
Post # 6
I’m with Mrs.tobe, I would be annoyed if I showed up for a ceremony only to have to sit in a different room watching it on a screen. But if I had a fair warning, I wouldn’t mind too much.
If she has a WEDsite, or has people RSVPing by phone/email she should mention the big screen tv viewing.
Post # 7
@Mrs.tobe:I totally agree with you. The last time we spoke about it she was just doing a first come first gets a seat situation. I was like have you lost your freaking mind!! I’m like family, Out of Town guest and close friends invited to the ceremony and let everyone else know because of space they have the option of watching it on a big screen, which I’m not even sure that room will be able to accomodate all of the overflow, or just attending the reception.
I think it will be very rude for someone to show up then not be allowed in the ceremony, then the viewing room to be full and them just sit there and wait for the ceremony to be over, then wait for pictures to be taken, and there will NOT be a cocktail hour so that’s about and hour and a half, providing the wedding starts on time just sitting waiting.
@MsNarwhal:That’ what I told her about the Destination Wedding. With Destination Wedding it is common to come back and throw a reception. I think it would really suck especially that everything is in the same location. Her Fiance wants to do it in a church which is 10minutes away but she is refusing to give up that location for the ceremony.
Post # 8
If the invitation said “family only ceremony” and the start time for the reception was made clear, then I probably wouldn’t mind. If she is going to go that route though, I think it would be better for her to choose who she wants at the ceremony vs first come, first serve for the 80 seats. I would be more annoyed if I really tried to make it to the ceremony, only to find that there were no more seats so I think she should definitely consider narrowing down who gets seats. Just makes things easier in my opinion.
Post # 9
I think that you can write an invite for just the reception, and tell them that they can watch the ceremony in a room before hand, but not the actual ceremony.
I had a cousin who had way more ppl at her reception than ceremony, but it was at diff loccations.
Post # 10
As much as I love a reception. I love a ceremony more. That said, in the UK it’s perfectly acceptable to send “reception only” invites. And I agree with PPs about saying “family only cermony” on the invites.
Post # 11
@mrsjjohnson2b:I’ve been to weddings where it was just a reception, and the ceremony was family only. So long as the line is drawn very carefully, it’s simple. Most people only *really* want to see the reception anyway. 🙂
Post # 12
I think it’s perfectly reasonable for her to NOT invite everyone to her ceremony. If it was me, though, I would limit the ceremony to just close family. Categorizing it this was would be less offensive (e.g., why did THAT cousin get to go to the ceremony and this cousin did not?!).
That having been said… she absolutely 100% needs to tell everyone what they’re being invited to. I’m sure there are invitation wording examples that are reception only.
Post # 13
haha i was gonna say ‘ No, Id never attend a reception if I wasnt invited to the wedding” — but then if i have to watch it off the big screen in another room. obviously it depeds on my relationship with the bride. If Im a close friend then Id be offended and sad, if Im a distant friend I guess I wouldnt be offended but a little suprised? find it a little weird?
Post # 14
It wouldn’t bother me at all to just be invited to the reception. As a matter of fact, lots of people have always skipped the ceremony anyway and only showed up for the reception (especially if there was a long gap in between), so I’m guessing they wouldn’t really mind very much. I always felt bad seeing half empty churches since I think it’s the most important part, but lots of people really don’t see it the same.
I think she should invite those she wants/can fit in to the ceremony, and invite the rest to the reception. The difficulty may be in deciding who would be offended by that seperation, which I would think would be family and close friends.
Post # 15
I did this and it was fine. There are always people LATE to the ceremony anyway, and most people I found to be REALLY understanding about it. I only had to cut a few people, but it ended up working out (some people who weren’t invited showed up and some people who were were late and missed it), so it worked out.