Post # 1
Ok here is the deal. It started out as a small wedding with onlyclose family attending. Now we are having our ceremony in my dad’s friend church and I want to put some people in the pews to fill out some space lol. Now we have already paid for our reception at a restaurant for our family so no one else can be added to that ticket. Do you think people will still want to come see us get married if we dont provide a reception? What if I still give them wedding favors and maybe serve some finger foods. Would you still attend???
Post # 3
I probably wouldn’t. Just being honest. While the ceremony is the important part, I think people would feel like they weren’t good enough to be included originally and invited to the reception.
Post # 4
I don’t think you should invite people as “seat-fillers” to make the church look less empty. That treats people as “props” rather than guests.
There’s nothing wrong with inviting a wider circle of friends and family to the church and doing a cake-and-punch reception, maybe with some light apps like cheese & crackers, a veggie tray, tea sandwiches, etc., and then having a small immediate-family-only restaurant dinner later. But if you go that route, do it because you genuinely want the guests to share your day, not because you didn’t want empty pews in the church.
Post # 5
no thanks, i’d be pretty offended that I wasn’t “good enough” to be invited to the reception, too since that’s the thank you for attending the ceremony part.
I think it’s kind of shallow to wnat to invite people to fill pews. Wedding guests are not place holders or space fillers, they should be the people you want to be there for your big day to support you. This totally rubs me the wrong way that you want to invite people to fill the church. Very poor form in my opinion.
Post # 6
Nope I wouldn’t attend, and I wouldn’t send a gift. I would take it as a gift grab and that I wasn’t good enough to attend the celebration.
Post # 7
No one wants such obvious proof that they mean no more to you than a seat-filler.
Post # 8
“I want to put some people in the pews to fill out some space lol.” Really? I could see if you were able to add some people you had wanted originally but couldn’t fit in the first venue, but this statement is ridiculous!
Post # 9
I actually had someone invite me to their wedding and not their recption…… I DID NOT go. I felt insulted and as if I was only invited bc she wanted a gift (there was like 5 gift registry things in her invite). Its tacky and you shouldn’t do it.
Post # 10
Ok maybe I shouldnt have said seat fillers. Its a lot of people that want to come to the wedding and I cant really afford to feed everybody that way. The wedding plans have changed plenty of times since we got engaged. I dont want people to feel like they cant come to wedding and then on the other hand I cant afford to feed and take everybody out that wants to come. Its like Im trying to please everybody and I just dont have the funds to do so.
Post # 11
No, I think throwing what’s essentially a “two tier” wedding is a bad idea. If someone openly indicates that they’d like to attend you can certainly advise them that the ceremony is taking place in a technically public place. But I’d be pretty annoyed as a guest to find out some people were invited to the better version of the reception.
Post # 12
+1 to every bee on here.. OP, that’s RUDE!
Post # 13
@IrvingButterfly: You should host the wedding you can afford… can’t afford to feed that many people dinner? Ok, don’t invite that many people. Or, have your wedding at a non-meal time and have cake & punch, appetizers, or finger foods. There are too many budget-friendly options to be rude enough to have a tiered reception.
By the way, a reception is the couple receiving guests and thanking them for attending their ceremony and sharing in their joy as they begin married life.
Post # 14
Absolutely not. Even with your clarification.
Post # 15
Generally ceremony’s are open to the public. Anyone can come, especially at a church. It’s really only the reception that is invite-only. However in practice not many people will attend a ceremony if they aren’t invited to the reception and I think it’s a bit rude to actually ask people to come to the ceremony and not the reception. If members of the church etc.. show up to the ceremony that’s fine but I wouldn’t extend any sort of official invite.
Post # 16
No, I think it’s rude to do this, and I would be offended to be invited to the ceremony, but not the reception – almost like, in your mind, I wasn’t valued enough to be included at your party even though I attended the most important ceremony of your life (to date).