(Closed) Would you attend a wedding cerenomy that will not have a open reception????

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

I probably wouldn’t. Just being honest. While the ceremony is the important part, I think people would feel like they weren’t good enough to be included originally and invited to the reception. 

Post # 4
3696 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you should invite people as “seat-fillers” to make the church look less empty. That treats people as “props” rather than guests.

There’s nothing wrong with inviting a wider circle of friends and family to the church and doing a cake-and-punch reception, maybe with some light apps like cheese & crackers, a veggie tray, tea sandwiches, etc., and then having a small immediate-family-only restaurant dinner later. But if you go that route, do it because you genuinely want the guests to share your day, not because you didn’t want empty pews in the church.

Post # 5
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

no thanks, i’d be pretty offended that I wasn’t “good enough” to be invited to the reception, too since that’s the thank you for attending the ceremony part. 

I think it’s kind of shallow to wnat to invite people to fill pews.  Wedding guests are not  place holders or space fillers, they should be the people you want to be there for your big day to support you. This totally rubs me the wrong way that you want to invite people to fill the church. Very poor form in my opinion.

Post # 6
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Nope I wouldn’t attend, and I wouldn’t send a gift.  I would take it as a gift grab and that I wasn’t good enough to attend the celebration.

Post # 7
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

No one wants such obvious proof that they mean no more to you than a seat-filler.

Post # 8
4787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@KCKnd2:  +1

“I want to put some people in the pews to fill out some space lol.” Really? I could see if you were able to add some people you had wanted originally but couldn’t fit in the first venue, but this statement is ridiculous!

Post # 9
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I actually had someone invite me to their wedding and not their recption…… I DID NOT go. I felt insulted and as if I was only invited bc she wanted a gift (there was like 5 gift registry things in her invite). Its tacky and you shouldn’t do it.

Post # 11
9050 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, I think throwing what’s essentially a “two tier” wedding is a bad idea.  If someone openly indicates that they’d like to attend you can certainly advise them that the ceremony is taking place in a technically public place.  But I’d be pretty annoyed as a guest to find out some people were invited to the better version of the reception. 

Post # 12
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

+1 to every bee on here.. OP, that’s RUDE! 

Post # 13
5473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

View original reply
@IrvingButterfly:  You should host the wedding you can afford… can’t afford to feed that many people dinner?  Ok, don’t invite that many people.  Or, have your wedding at a non-meal time and have cake & punch, appetizers, or finger foods.  There are too many budget-friendly options to be rude enough to have a tiered reception.

By the way, a reception is the couple receiving guests and thanking them for attending their ceremony and sharing in their joy as they begin married life.

Post # 14
2334 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Absolutely not.  Even with your clarification.

Post # 15
1936 posts
Buzzing bee

Generally ceremony’s are open to the public. Anyone can come, especially at a church. It’s really only the reception that is invite-only. However in practice not many people will attend a ceremony if they aren’t invited to the reception and I think it’s a bit rude to actually ask people to come to the ceremony and not the reception. If members of the church etc.. show up to the ceremony that’s fine but I wouldn’t extend any sort of official invite.

Post # 16
13949 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, I think it’s rude to do this, and I would be offended to be invited to the ceremony, but not the reception – almost like, in your mind, I wasn’t valued enough to be included at your party even though I attended the most important ceremony of your life (to date).

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