(Closed) Would you be a surrogate? (To a family member/stranger/at all)

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Would you ever be a surrogate?
    Yes, but only for a family member/close friend NOT using my genetic material : (37 votes)
    29 %
    Yes, but only for a family member/close friend, even if it meant using my genetic material : (12 votes)
    9 %
    Yes, for anyone, including a stranger, but NOT using my genetic material : (7 votes)
    5 %
    Yes, for anyone, including a stranger, even if it meant using my genetic material : (6 votes)
    5 %
    No, under no circumstance : (61 votes)
    47 %
    Other- explanation below : (6 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 31
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    As I have mentioned in other threads pregnancy terrifies me so I voted no. I just don’t think I could happily and willingly be a surrogate at this point in my life.

    Post # 32
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Nope, absolutely not. I wouldn’t put my body through that to produce a child that wouldn’t be mine. Even if the child wasn’t genetically related to me, incubating it for nine months and going through all the drastic physical and mental changes involved would make me emotionally invested in the child, and I would worry constantly about the kid’s welfare.

    I was adopted as a newborn, and when I was 25 years old, my biological mother tracked me down because she had spent two and a half decades worrying about whether she had done the right thing for me, whether I had a good life, a good upbringing. I can’t even imagine how that must have been for her.

    Post # 33
    7693 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    No I wouldn’t. Pregnancy and childbirth are hard enough on the body as is and I would only go through that for my own children, not someone else’s.

    Post # 34
    1920 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Maybe to a sibling, under extreme circumstances. And I would not use my own eggs and only after I had my own children. 

    Post # 35
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I don’t know. I wouldn’t for my sibling, nor probably for the Boy’s sister as I’m not very close to either of them.

    I think the only case where I would consider it would be possibly for my best friend, if she couldn’t have children. But she currently doesn’t want any, ever, so I think my services would never be called on!

    Post # 36
    5543 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    For a close relative ( my sis, SIL, and my first cousins who I grew up extremely close to) maybe. But it would have to be “their” baby, using their genetics, not mine. And as others have said, after Darling Husband and I are done having children. Of course I can’t imagine anyone I would consider doing this for actually wanting it because they want to adopt anyway, even if they can have biological children, so if they couldn’t they would just adopt. 

    Post # 37
    1188 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    No way. I’m currently pregnant with my own and am not a huge fan of pregnancy. But, I think women who are able to do this for others are amazing!

    Post # 38
    1102 posts
    Bumble bee

    I wouldn’t use one to have a baby myself, I just don’t think I could ever ask that of someone. I have thought I probably would do it for someone else out of a very specific group of people – if one of my sisters needed it, or if my gay best friend asked very nicely. I don’t think I could do it for anyone else. I don’t think I’d want to use my own eggs though, and I’d want to have had my own children first. I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant and it’s already feeling like hard work (!!) so I understand a bit more now what a massive undertaking it would be to do this for a baby that’s not yours. Not just for me but also Darling Husband who is having to listen to all my complaints and will be the main support person throughout the whole thing. Hopefully I’ll never have to make this decision though.

    Post # 39
    2561 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If you would have asked me a year ago, I might have said I would for my own sister, but now that I am in my third trimester, I would have to say no. I vomited non-stop for the first 22 weeks of my pregnancy, and now I am facing gestational diabetes and pregnancy induced hypertension. I just don’t think that putting my body through any more pregnancies than necessary to fill my own family is a good idea.

    Post # 40
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Kudos to those of you who say you would do it – I just don’t think I could.   I’ve had a pretty easy pregnancy so far but now that I’m feeling the baby move, I couldn’t imagine not having this be a baby we would keep.  The level of attachment grows quite early on and I just don’t see myself being able to give it up, even for my sister, whom I am very close with.   I wouldn’t mind donating my eggs after I’m done having children I don’t think, but it would have to be an anonymous donation where I never know if those eggs were ever used.   

    Really though, those of you who could do it are amazing because I never could.

    Post # 41
    4801 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I’m not sure I’m ready to go through pregnancy and labor for a child of my own, so no, I most definitely would not be able to do it for someone else. If they could somehow magically get eggs out of me without the physical things involved that make me want to be ill, I would be all for that as I definitely feel for couples who have trouble conceiving.

    Post # 42
    1676 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’d like to think I would for a close family member or friend.  However, pregnancy has been so tough on me that it makes me wonder about even having a second child of my own let alone a child that isn’t mine at the end of the day.  It would be an extremely tough call…

    Post # 43
    1160 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d probably do it for $$$ 😉  My figure is ruined anyway.

    Post # 44
    466 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would for a stranger if I am one of those people who adore being pregnant (never been so cant say for sure). In guess I feel if its to be a surrogate, I would like to be ‘removed’ from the child. It might get too hard if I am still in close contact with him/her. But you never know, if my best friend asked me to I think I probably would consider it. Family member would be where I draw the line. Its too close for comfort.

    Post # 45
    493 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If anyone is seriously considering this, I would suggest you consider it only after you have been pregnant with your own child at least once. For me, pregnancy was nothing like what I expected. If you haven’t been pregnant before, it’s impossible to anticipate what pregnancy will be like (both physically and emotionally). At least that has been my experience. It took being pregnant with my own child to realize I could never be a surrogate.

    The topic ‘Would you be a surrogate? (To a family member/stranger/at all)’ is closed to new replies.

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