- 4 years ago
I haven’t been very active on WB in awhile, just due to a busy work schedule, etc. but I am dealing with something pretty devestating and I need advice. I’m not ready to clue my family or friends in yet. (I’ll try to keep this short)
DH and I have been married for about a year, dated 3 years before we were married. Before we got together/early on in the relationship, he was a big pot smoker. He was raised in an environment where pot smoking was encouraged, his parents smoke daily, etc. It took a lot of him getting out of that environment to get him to stop. I had THOUGHT he wanted to stop for himself, not just to please me. Once we both graduated college, I said I thought we should grow up a little bit and not continue to smoke at all. As far as I knew, DH hadn’t smoked in about 1.5 years (maybe closer to 2).
However, he still sees his family at least once a week for a shared athletic hobby that they all participate in. I don’t care for his family because of their lack of ethics/morals/etc., so I choose not to attend.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have noticed a distinct pot smell in our garage after coming home from being out alone, work, or something. I also found an empty plastic baggie that had little green “flecks” in it. Both of these things aroused my suspicion. I asked him many times if he was smoking, and he always said “no! are you kidding? I literally haven’t smoked in years. you know that.” he’s also offered specific reasons like “I don’t even have anytihng to smoke out of!” or “When would I even smoke?” or “How would I buy pot without you knowing? We share a bank account, remember!”
I should have trusted my instincts more, I know I should have. I was stupid not to, but I’ve been busy, and I guess his answers were easy to swallow.
Last night I found buried in a storage box in (where else?) the garage, a large jar of pot, a pipe literally made of foil and a lighter. Honestly, at this point, I have no idea how much/how long he has been smoking. I’m going to assume he’s been lying to me for months or maybe years.
It’s easy to blame his family. Sure, they raised him this way, and continue to endorse irresponsible, immature drug use. But honestly, he’s an adult. It’s his choice to do this, and he chooses to lie to me every single day.
Bees, would you forgive this? Would you be able to work through this? Should I try to work through this? This is a HUGE lie.