(Closed) Would you be angry if your fiance called you by an ex's name?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: If your fiance called you by an ex's name when saying the he loves you would you:
    Be very crushed and upset? : (69 votes)
    38 %
    Brush it off like nothing happened? : (46 votes)
    26 %
    Be really angry? : (34 votes)
    19 %
    Think it was hysterical and laugh? : (31 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    1883 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I mean, I wouldn’t be thrilled, but I’d let it go. I have a past, he has one too, shit happens. I can’t imagine being crushed unless there was some sort of history there that made me mistrust his feelings for me and worry about his feelings for her.

    On a different note, sometimes my dad accidentally calls my sister and me by his beloved cat’s name. 🙂

    Post # 47
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee

    I would naturally be VERY upset and hold it against him so that he would have to make it up to me by buying me a very nice gift… 

     

    The boyfriend I had at 15 actually did this, and he had to buy me a Gucci perfume… Lol. He was forgiven!

     

    I think this time it would need to be a Gucci bag or something! Lol

    Post # 49
    Member
    3244 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    pess:  Wow, Darling Husband would have just laughed his arse off at me if I thought I deserved a present for a slip of the tongue. Hahahaha he ain’t that generous 😛   

    Post # 50
    Member
    5106 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2014

    My Darling Husband has never done it, I wouldn’t necessarily think it was hilarious, but it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, unless it was a constant thing. 

    I’ve called Darling Husband by my exes name once, when we were first dating. I was with my ex for 6 years and was used to saying his name, plus my ex and Darling Husband have similar names that start with the same letter, so it’s an easy slip. I don’t know if he even noticed and if he did, he didn’t say anything. 

     

    Post # 51
    Member
    5862 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Would depend on the context & the situation. In the course of normal conversation, no big deal I’d likely make a joke of it. Attached to an intimate moment however- as in OPs case with ‘an I love you’, during sex or something romantic like a slow dance, my feelings would be hurt. Still a forgiveable offense because it was nothing more than an accidental slip, could happen to me as well and I’d hope he’d understand it was an innocent mistake and nothing more, but still understandably hurt my feelings. If it happened in front of others I’d be embarrassed and hope they wouldn’t read too much into it or gossip about it- I shouldn’t care what others think but in all truthfulness I would. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee

    My SO introduced me to someone as his ex somewhere and I just looked at him… and he went uh noooo and corrected himself. He and his ex do not get along at all. He felt horribly for weeks. I tried to make jokes about it as I really didn’t care, but couldn’t even do that because he felt so guilty.

    Post # 53
    Member
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I called my fiance my exes name durring our first fight as a couple. And needless to say I lost that fight. lol But it was good that it was because I was so used to being angry at/shouting that name and not his. That I only had negative and and angry emotions attached to that  name. lol 

    Post # 54
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee

    I dont think I’d find that funny, but I’ve also never had it happen to me.

     

    I had an ex’s neice call me by his ex girlfriends name, and we all laughed about it. He’d told me it had been 6 months since they split, and she’s 3, so I didnt think much about it. Come to find out, he lied, and they’d only split weeks before. Poor girl was confused, since we both have dark hair/eyes.

     

    My current SO’s ex is bat sh*** crazy, so I dont think I’d be happy if he called me her name while saying ILY

     

    I MIGHT find it amusing if I was being a total brat, and he called me by her name. But then again, maybe not, cause I dont want to think that I’m THAT bad lol

    Post # 55
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I accidentally called Fiance by an ex’s name when we first started dating because when we first started dating, my ex was still in my life. Fiance brushed it off and didn’t think twice about it; it happens. I haven’t done it since though because I no longer talk to any of my exes and barely ever think about any of them; same with him. So if it happened now, I’d be a little annoyed/suspicious because I’d be wondering why that person was suddenly on his mind. But if he accidentally calls you by his baby mama’s name, that’s totally understandable…she’s a big part of his life.

    Post # 56
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    theatrejulia:  LOL…although I do think accidentally calling people by other people’s names has more to do with how much they are in our lives/how much we think about them rather than how much they may look like us or what race they are…but yeah, I guess that would be funny.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    wifetobee63:  Hell my own mother calls me by my aunt’s name all the time, same with my brother and my uncle. She doesn’t even realize she’s done it until someone points it out! I say no big deal. 🙂

    Post # 58
    Member
    891 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Darling Husband has never done that with me, but I wouldn’t be upset if he did because I’m not insecure.

    Post # 59
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    It just depends on the sitatuion. Like you said, that’s the mother of his child, and someone he talks to. So it isn’t like she was written out of his life to never be thought of again. 

    Now, if it were an ex from say, 10 years ago, no children, no communication in those 10 years, then I’d wonder where it came from. 

    I’ll be honest, sometimes in my mind, I’ve always said one of my ex’s name when talking about my Fiance, or when saying something to someone else. Doesn’t mean I love him less, just that it happens. My mom does it too.. she’ll mention an ex’s name (and its not because she cared that much, its the ones she didnt!). 

    Post # 60
    Member
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee

    Times when I would be annoyed:

    If he did it during sex

    If he did it while saying I love you

    Tme when I would be pissed

    If he did it at the altar

    Any other time,I can let it go as long as it doesn’t become a habit.

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