Would you be annoyed?

posted 12 months ago in Reception
  • poll: Would you be annoyed if a wedding 1 hr away by plane "just" had an afternoon tea reception?
    Not at all, an afternoon tea sounds fun and different! : (35 votes)
    21 %
    I paid for flights and accommodation... to eat a scone?! Helll no is that ok. : (63 votes)
    38 %
    I'd deal with it but secretly be annoyed : (26 votes)
    16 %
    It would be ok if there were other events planned (welcome dinner? after party? farewell breakfast?) : (42 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 46
    12 posts

    megm1099 :  I’m guessing that it is not a driveable location(?),  Maybe an island destination or some other remote destination.  But this does raise a good point, if it hasn’t been raised yet, and it very well could have been:  How are guests transported from airport to wedding site?    

    “However, people should realize that this would be incredibly rude if you were having your wedding, in, like, Paris. “

    How does this mean though?  How could her wedding be in Paris and only one hour away?  Unless her wedding is indeed in Paris, one hour away (flight) from her guests. starting point   Which then, one hour is one hour and how would one realize how rude it is just because it is in Paris?

    “Also, to bees that want to be “different and unqiue” I want to say that if something is not commonly done, there is probably a reason for it.”  This is a good point!  There are exceptions, of course.  But for many/most, this is a sound rule. 

    Post # 47
    366 posts
    Helper bee

    I really like the idea of an afternoon tea reception!

    It sounds so chill and fancy.

    With a destination wedding I’d be a bit miffed no matter the reception, but setting it earlier in the day allows your guests to enjoy the area a little bit more on their own if they liked. 

    Post # 48
    2429 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: NJ

    To be totally truthful, I wouldn’t go. If I felt the slightest hesitation or annoyance, over time or money, I would simply RSVP a no. 

    If me & Darling Husband felt like a nice weekend away, with a wedding sandwiched in as one of the relaxing activities, then we might go. 

    We would expect a sit-down dinner, in any case.

    Post # 49
    2798 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think it sounds lovely! As long as there’s plenty of food and drink (including alchohol) and it’s a decent length of time, then I don’t think that starting it earlier in the day really matters. Personally I MUCH prefer that kind of ‘finger food’ to a plate of dry chicken and asparagus.

    Now, if it was from 2pm – 4pm and you served only scones, finger sandwiches and tea THEN I would say it was a bad idea. But this just sounds like a different style of reception, which is fine. 

    ETA – I’d also arrange a chill welcome dinner BBQ or farewell breakfast picnic. If they’re going to travel, it’s nice to offer people a couple of opportunities to all get together. 

    Post # 50
    616 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I would go especially if there are other things to do, I’d make a vacation out of it! I think it would be unique and fun.


    Dont let people telling you this can’t be done get you down. Don’t dismiss them altogether though. A lot of times the harshest people have some good advice buried in there somewhere. I asked a lot of questions on here where people told me that our wedding would be the worst because it was in a park and we didn’t want to have assigned seating. I still combed through the advice, took out the gems and used that advice to make it work for us . 


    More than a year later, people randomly mention how our wedding was their favourite wedding they ever attended. I know they aren’t just being nice because who randomly says that when we aren’t even talking about weddings? However, I think it was better because some of the harshest people pointed out some potential problems and I definitely wasn’t too proud to listen to them, even if they were kind of mean.

    I would totally come to your wedding!

    Post # 51
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    We had an afternooon tea wedding because I’m not a late-night person and I don’t drink alcohol (though we still served unlimited wine and beer, because I was told that that was necessary).

    Quite frankly, people who can’t imagine enjoying themselves without late-night drinking aren’t people I’d be friends with anyway.

    Really all that matters is serving an abundance of food so that everyone gets more than enough. We served basically the equivalent of lunch immediately after the ceremony (the “cocktail hour” in a traditional timeline, while we were doing pictures), and then we had a sit-down afternoon tea. Many people said it was the best wedding they’d ever attended.

    You can ensure your guests’ comfort without hosting a cookie-cutter event.

    Post # 53
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    favflamingo :  The “cocktail hour” was heavy hors d’oeuvres and a mashed(?) potato bar, plus I think some sort of fruit/cheese station. IIRC, we had three hors d’oeuvres with meat, three with fish, and three vegetarian, but I don’t remember what exactly they were. This was the main savory food, in quantities large enough to substitute for a meal and at the typical mealtime.

    The sit-down part did have three-tiered stands, full of little dessert-y things: tarts etc. And there were chocolate-covered strawberries. The servers brought around sandwiches separately, and they were slightly larger versions of typical tea sandwiches: I think one was cucumber and dill, one was maybe salmon, and maybe egg salad for the third? Then of course there was the cake.

    I’ll send you a PM with a photo.

    Post # 54
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    happytravls :  My point with the whole Paris thing that this menu is ONLY okay because the flight is only an hour long. This type of reception would be incredibly rude if your guests spent 13 hours on a flight to get there. 🙂 

    But you do raise a good point. I would not go if it wasn’t driveable unless you were like a super close family member or something. But I’m one of the few on this site that just find destination weddings to be rude (unless it’s a multi-ethnic wedding and it can’t be helped). 

    Post # 55
    1043 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    megm1099 :  People of the same ethnicity can still come from different places….

    Post # 56
    1721 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    BookishBee :  That’s my point XD Destination weddings don’t bother me if the groom’s family is from Taiwan and the bride’s family is from America. Or whatever, ya know. Having a destination in Taiwan or America would be totally lovely. 

    Just not a fan of people who say “oh hey let’s invite 300 people to Paris because we randomly want to get married there” lol

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