(Closed) Would you be annoyed if…

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
46646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is the same situation when parents give couples a large amount of money towards the wedding, then the couple buys the parents an expensive gift. Why didn’t the couple simply spend less on the wedding and return the extra funds?

Post # 4
Member
1522 posts
Bumble bee

@Aquaria:  kinda but it may hav been circumstantial ex: a family member gives them extra money that they were nt expecting… I see your point of view but just be understanding at the same time at least she is paying it back to you guys just in a different way

Post # 5
Member
1134 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Were im from its expected of the bridesmaid to buy her own dress. Of course it would be a nice gesture for the bride to buy the dress.

Post # 6
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

No. These issues are separate. A gift is a thank you. If she gifted the items she wanted you to wear, that’s not a thank you. That’s a subsidy. If you had an issue with the budget, that should’ve been handled in its own right.

Post # 8
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Aquaria:  But now you get a pretty diamond necklace out of the deal! I think as long as the bridesmaid is comfortable paying for her dress, shoes, etc, this is totally fine. And I agree with PP, buying the dress wouldn’t really be a gift.

Post # 9
Member
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Aquaria:  If I agree to be a bridesmaid I know I pay for my dress, shoes, accessories, hair and makeup. I have that figured out before saying yes. I personally would like a gift.. and additional “thanks so much for doing all of this for me”.

Post # 10
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It depends- I have bought my friends gifts that I purchased with gift cards. So very little of my money was actually spent on the gift even though it was a very expensive item.

Post # 11
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

No way! I was Maid/Matron of Honor twice and each time I got gifts that I cherish. I could have bought myself the same jewelry, but lets face it I probably wouldn’t and now it’s more meaningful. I also got a coach bag that I love.

Post # 12
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No… that would not annoy me. And, let me tell you, it most certainly did not annoy my bridesmaids, who got very generous gifts and were really happy about them.

Post # 13
Member
46646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Aquaria:  I think you have a valid point. You spend money that is not in excess supply, to buy a dress that you will likely never wear again, along with expenses for shoes , makeup, hair etc and the bride then buys you an expensive gift that you will treasure as a memory of the wedding, but that really isn’t part of your lifestyle.

 

Post # 14
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mrsSonthebeach:  +1.

 

I only have one bridesmaid (my MOH) and she is buying her own dress. My gift to her is going to be a necklace with a small diamond in it from Tiffany’s. I think the necklace is like $375 and her dress is going to be around $200. To me, the necklace is a thank you – something she can wear all the time (its her style and its not bridesmaidy), plus its something she would never buy for herself. The dress is just for my wedding – that is really not a thank you gift at all IMO.

 

Now if buying the dress were a financial issue for her then that would be different, but she is financially comfortable so I don’ t think the dress purchase will be putting her out.

 

ETA: I am paying for her makeup though and my mother, who is a hairstylist, will be doing her hair.

Post # 15
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Personally I would rather it be like this, I would never fork out the money for a diamond necklace though I would love to have one but I would willingly and happily fork out the money for a bridesmaid outfit.  In this situation I get to stand up in a friends wedding for a price I expect and get a diamond necklace out of it too 🙂 win, win in my book.

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