(Closed) Would you be bothered by guests leaving very early?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 47
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I won’t be surprised if it happens at my wedding but I’d still be a upset. 

Post # 48
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

In terms of the op, I think it sucks and it’s great that you didn’t let it ruin your day.

It’s normal to be disappointed and hurt but howver it really depends on the situion. I seeing people list events people should stay for, not to be touting myself as an wedding expert but as someome who goes to multiple weddings and have been for the last few years, couples do things on different timelines. So it’s complete subjective and I don’t thin easy to put specfic events people should stay for.

Some people go right into their first dance. Other’s go into dinners and million speeches whici lets be honest can start to get boring, quite frankly I’m annoyed by the all of the dances people do now. Now there the first dance, grandpa dance, the generation dance, the brother and sister dance, and it’s like jeez how much more should we take.

I think guest should show up on time, stay for a reasonable amount of time. I think a few hours. Again timelines are different so I don’t think staying for a particular event is worth it. I been too weddings were dinner was sever late, cake was cut at the end of the night. So completely subjective.

Post # 49
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had quite a few people that left early from our reception, but I understood. Our wedding was on a Sunday, a majority of the guests were older & had traveled from many miles away. I didn’t let anything like that bother me. Actually, it was a good thing in a way.. that way we were able to clean everything up so I didn’t have to be up late!

Post # 50
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would be so upset!!! It will be costing SO and I just over $5000 for our venue and catering so I’d be super pissed!!!

Post # 51
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

In my particular case, I wouldn’t be disappointed at all. We invited over 140 people and, at the end, we didn’t even count how many actually attended our wedding or how many left early. We were just soooo happy and obviously our closest family (parents and brothers) were there until the party was over around midnight. The reception started at 8:00 PM and I think a bunch of guests left around… I don’t know… 9:30 or 10 PM? But we didn’t mind at all. We are not rich or anything like that (actually, we had a backyard wedding on a budget) but we didn’t even mind having paid for the meals of people leaving early (IF there were people leaving early, which, as I said, we didn’t notice too much) or having paid for meals of people not attending. At the end, we were just so happy that we are married and we were thankful with the people who joined the celebration, no matter how long they stayed for (Am I too cheesy or what? Embarassed ) but, on the other hand, I also understand your point and that it means too much for most people. I just hope those moments don’t ruin the whole picture of your wedding, which I’m sure was beautiful Smile

Post # 52
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Eh I don’t think I would be upset. Some people just don’t like the more “party” part of the reception, and I wouldn’t want them sitting there bored. 

Post # 52
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
AnonymousCupcake

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Girl the same thing happened at my wwedding. It was just last month! I started my own thread because I was really having a hare time getting over it. Obviously it’s still hard since I’m seeking out other bees who have dealt with the same thing!

 

 

((Well really I just received my wedding photos for the first time and it I felt that wave of dissapointment ALL over again)

 

 

So long story short my ENTIRE ffamily left after the meal was over and the reception ended way early because other guests quickly followed suit. Very few said goodbye.  Because they’re pricks. So you’re right! People leave without being seen because they know they’re being ass hats.

 

 

It wwasn’t you it was them. Their guilty behavior says it all! 

Post # 53
Member
7895 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

That is a little weird considering no special circumstance. On the flip side, it also means extra leftover cake and other things for you!

Post # 54
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

The same exact thing happened at my wedding reception this weekend which was New Year’s Eve and it’s kind of implied if it’s a New Year’s Eve reception that you stay till New Year’s Eve our wedding reception was done by 9:30 because my husband’s family up and left and they were half the wedding party and they all left at the same time I’m still really upset about it I’m sure I’ll get over it someday but right now I’m really really hurts because we put $6,000 into 8 1920s Great Gatsby reception and almost everybody dressed up except for his family and they had eight months to notice it wasn’t real hard to put a little thing in your hair I think it’s the lack of respect that they’ve shown me as the new person in the family that really bothers me the most.

Post # 55
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

 I think it depends on a number of factors. If there’s great music that suits a variety of tastes and/or bridges the generation gap, then people are more likely to stay. One of my husband’s good friends got married this fall and the music was awful. Like dance club techno music and current pop. We left fairly early. It was painful to sit there and listen to it all night. 

Also, if there’s a full open bar, people will more often stay. A dry bar….don’t expect guests to stay after dinner.

And if you are having your wedding on a holiday, forget it. People would rather celebrate a holiday their own way. 

Post # 56
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I live in UT and that’s so common. However they aren’t used to traditional receptions it hurt my feelings a little when they left early but I expected it in a way.

Post # 57
Hostess
4069 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Was it a dry wedding?  Everyone left my sister’s dry wedding early – we finished clean up before the event was supposed to end.  Same with my cousins’ dry weddings.  I’ve also left a wedding early when my SO of 5 years wasn’t invited, but otherwise at least stay until the cake is cut.  I’m sorry you had so many guests leave 🙁  We had a few leave right after dinner, but they had a 10 hour drive home and a sick family member so I was amazed they made it at all. 

Post # 58
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

View original reply
AnonymousCupcake :  I would be a little annoyed. If they couldn’t stay for the event, then I would have preferred them not come at all. However, this is my opinion AFTER being on the bride side of things. I have been guilty of leaving a wedding early (though not nearly as early as the guests in your situation). My thinking was that even though I was super busy (I had work at 6am the next morning) that my friend would appreciate me at least making an appearance at her wedding. The reality is that you’re not going to have time to visit with the bride and groom very much. If you can’t stay for a good chunk of the celebration then it might be better to RSVP no and treat the couple to dinner (and give them a gift) on a different day to celebrate. (I’m referring to cases where you are pretty close to the bride and/or groom. If it’s the wedding of a distant cousin or something just RSVP no.) 

Post # 59
Member
44 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

This happened at my wedding too. We had to cut the reception short by an hour.

A good chunk of FI’s family drove down from Tusla, ate, and then immediately left to drive back home (our wedding was about an hour north of Dallas)! Also, not that I’m keeping score, but they didn’t bring gifts either…

After that, the church crowd started to trickle out (apparently baptists don’t like to dance much). We were stopped about 6 times on the way to cut the cake by people saying goodbye before leaving. The wedding was at 4 on a Saturday, and we didn’t make guests wait long to start the reception and provided beer and wine for the guests. FI’s parents just concluded that his dad’s side were cheap asses who didn’t want to pay for a hotel room. 

I was a little disappointed that it happened that way, since we had put a lot of planning into the wedding and it flew by for me. We made the decision to cut the reception short so we wouldn’t have a dismal exit. Honestly, by that time, I was ready to have some quiet time. I think my Mother-In-Law was the most upset, however, because there wasn’t enough time to play all the music she requested. She was still ready to party. 

Post # 60
Member
2710 posts
Sugar bee

I would be upset if my three closest friends left super early for no particular reason I think. I certainly don’t expect EVERYONE to stay any longer than they want to be there, but it would hurt my feelings if my good friends left so early and without saying goodbye. Have you spoken with anyone since? They may have a reason for doing so that they just haven’t told you yet? Maybe they felt out of place because they were the only non-family there and the wedding wasn’t really… catered to friends?

Are you normally quite close with them? Can you bring it up without it being awkward? They may have just felt out of place and like their presence wasn’t required really.

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