(Closed) Would you be hurt if your cousin couldn't come to your bridal shower?

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3211 posts
Sugar bee

No I wouldn’t be. It would be enough for me that you come to my wedding.

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would not fly across the country for someone’s bridal shower for one day. That is insanity. Just send a gift ahead of time with a note saying you are sad you had to miss it but can’t wait to see her on her special day.

Post # 6
Member
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I do not have a relationship with any of my cousins… so no.

Post # 7
Member
46328 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wouldn’t expect anyone- even my Mom or the bridal party – to fly across the country for a shower, whether they could afford it or not. Sometimes people need a reality check when it comes to expenses associated with weddings.

Post # 8
Member
2907 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Nope! I couldnt make my cousin’s bridal shower and I don’t think she minded. I sent a gift and a card and I think that was fine. I have a ton of cousins who are invited to my shower next month, and while I would love to see them, I understand most of them probably won’t be able to make it there. I’d rather if they can only travel once, that they come to the wedding. I wouldn’t have any hard feelings.  🙂

Post # 9
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I personally wouldn’t ever expect anyone to fly across the country for a bridal shower.

However, sometimes family drama doesn’t really fall under the “rational” category, so there’s no way of knowing how your aunt/cousin are actually going to feel.

To avoid confrontation, I would probably make up an excuse. Say you have already accepted an invitation to another event in town that weekend. Be very remorseful and stress how sad you are that you are going to miss such a joyous occasion.

Post # 10
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I wouldn’t worry about passing on the shower. My out-of-state bridesmaids didn’t come to mine, and I completely understood. I didn’t even think about inviting my cousins to the shower because I didn’t want to put any pressure on out of state family members to fly down.

Post # 11
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

She needs to get a clue. Its across the country. Even if your ticket is paid for its a whole weekend and a hassle. 

Hell i dont even think my aunt and uncle will be flying down for my WEDDING. And i cant blame them its across the country and all. 

Post # 12
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Flying aross the country for a bridal brunch is an unreasonable expectation. Any sane person would not expect you to do that. Also, it is crazy rude to ask someone WHY they declined an invitation. You don’t owe her or anyone else an explanation. 

Post # 13
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@anon00:  I don’t know. I would never in a million years be angry that someone wouldn’t fly across the country for the day of my bridal shower. I would never expect that from anyone either. Can you tell her you have a work obligation or something? Does she know about her shower?

Post # 14
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I was hurt that my cousins didn’t come to my bridal shower, but they only live a couple hours away.  If they lived across the country, of course I wouldn’t expect them to come!  So, I think you are fully justified in not going. 

My best suggestion about declining – make sure you RSVP, tell her how sorry you are that you cannot make it (even if you aren’t) and that you are really looking forward to attending her wedding (even if you aren’t) and send a gift (or a gift card, etc.).  That way it won’t reflect badly on you, hopefully. 

Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

No

Post # 16
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

No, but send them a gift or a card.

The topic ‘Would you be hurt if your cousin couldn't come to your bridal shower?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors