(Closed) Would you be mad?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why can’t she work and then come to the wedding?  Is it very far away?

Post # 5
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I dont think its rude she thought about money. Not working/vacation day and not earning money is a real concern for many people. She probably should have just kept quiet because it hurt you what she said. This is a topic on this board often, what people think about non-weekend weddings because people do worry about the inconvenience of it.

You made your point and she then stopped discussing it so I would just let it all go. 

Post # 6
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@nafarey7:  So again, why can’t she work that day?  What time is your wedding?

Post # 7
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it depends on her financial situation.  If she’s living paycheck to paycheck/money is super tight I can see her being worried about missing work.  It wasn’t very good manners for her to tell you like that, but I can understand the concern- I’ve been in jobs where missing a day could have put my job in jeopardy/made it difficult to pay my bills that month. 

Whether or not she is struggling for money, it was rude for her to put it like that.  I’d just try to be more understanding if I knew she was in a bad spot money wise. 

Post # 8
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont think it’s rude, actually. It’s part of the deal when you pick a Friday wedding. You will have many more guests who will think the same thing (and probably some that it will actually keep from going if the cant get a flexible schedule). 

Post # 9
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry your sister upset you.

A lot of times, when a wedding isn’t held on a Saturday/Sunday, people will complain that it is inconvenient. Because it just IS going to be inconvenient for most people, especially if they live out of town.

Most likely, she IS excited about  your wedding, but it is going to require people to maybe take off work in order to participate or attend. She just voiced that frustration out loud instead of keeping it to herself.

We considered a Friday evening wedding b/c it was so much less inexpensive for a particular venue we were originally interested in. But all of our guests were coming from 2-6 hours away and some would have to take a couple days off to be able to make it. We just couldn’t do that.

However, if most of your guests and attendants are in the same town as you, and you are having an evening wedding, it shouldn’t be as big of a deal.

Obviously I wasn’t there to hear her tone of voice, and clearly she upset you, but like I said, she was probably just voicing her frustration and didn’t necessarily mean it as a dig, it might have just came out wrong.

I’m sure your wedding is going to be awesome and I’m so glad you were able to find your dream venue! Just focus on your day and try to enjoy the process <3

Post # 11
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I just attended a Friday wedding this Friday. Personally, I would not do it as I personally (MY OPINION) that it is inconsiderate towards guests. Sure, it costs you a whole lot less, but not your guests. 

-We had to book the whole day off of work (FI could only get a half a day off as his job is very demanding, he was pissed about her having it on a Friday. It gets more complicated with kids in daycare and school and travel time. 

However, it is her special day and I am a good friend to her so I went and did not say a thing. personally, knowing how it is to be a guest on a Friday wedding – ESPECIALLY one of out town- I would never do it.

Don’t be too mad at your sister. She will be there, maybe she just needed to express her bottled up feelings instead of keeping it in and being bitter.

Post # 12
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

If she’s earning 300-400 a day, she’s probably doing alright financially. That said, she has every right to think about money, and she may have just been pointing out that a lot of your guests may have a hard time attending a friday wedding due to work commitments (which is why most people have their weddings on saturdays). If you have an evening wedding that is close to most of your guests homes, then I think that would work. Then they could still work and as it’s in the evening, people would still have time to travel. I wouldn’t be angry, I think you’ll find that a lot of people will be thinking the same way.

Post # 13
Member
7 posts
Newbee

I don’t think that she is rude. She can earn 300-400 a day and this is not a small deal. As you said it’s her little sister(your) wedding, if she still willing to come, you are no need to give her money. She may just complain to you but not mean much.

Post # 14
Member
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Can she take a halfday?  Can she plan ahead?  You’re wedding is MORE than a year away…she can’t plan in that time to take a day off for her sister’s wedding?  That seems extremely unreasonable to me.

Post # 15
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

To be honest, my feelings would have been hurt as well. We are having a Friday evening wedding because I have always wanted a Friday evening wedding, not because the venue is cheaper (because in my case, it’s free). Many folks are used to weddings always being on Saturdays (I have never been to a Sunday wedding). Hopefully your sister comes around.

Post # 16
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

That’s not rude at all, she’s being honest. YOU decided to have a weekday wedding, that means plenty of people wont be able to come. Sorry to be blunt, but if it was absolutely essential to you for everyone you invited to come, you wouldn’t have a wedding on a weekday. Having said that, you have your reasons, and I get that… but realistically, people have other priorities.

I don’t think I could/would take a day off work for a wedding… We need money for, you know, living.

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