Post # 1
If a family member had made plans for their bachelorette party – which unfortunately, were not confirmed oly till about one month before and cost $240 for a cruise – would you be made when only four members of seven people invited family could make it and you couldnt go because you couldnt afford it for whatever reason?
I seriously dont understand. I am being thrown under the bus by family members because 1) I was accused of not telling some family members, which in fact were told and declined the invite 2) I did none of the contacting 3) There was another more afffordable plan in the air; however, the bride perfers the cruise 4) the bride has no bridesmaid and invited those people she wanted to share her moment with.
Someone through me some advice on this because Im ridiculously perplexed by this unnecessary drama which I plan to quickly address despite all the other things I have to deal with with school and a wedding one month away.
Mind you the bride made no comment to those who couldnt make it b/c seriously she didnt want to impose.
Post # 3
Hmm I mean, I’d be dissapointed if I couldn’t go, yeah, but MAD – no. If that’s what the bride wants to do then that’s what she wants to do. It sounds like she wasn’t under the assumption that everyone would be able to come anyway – or am I wrong? I’m a little confused about how it was organized, though, and how exactly you are being thrown under the bus. What family is throwing you under the bus – her family? Are you related to her? I’m confused. Maybe I need more coffee….
Post # 4
I”m a little confused by your description of events and your relationship to the bride/involvement in the planning. Do you mean people are getting mad at you b/c it’s too expensive?
If I were invited to a Bach party that was way too expensive for me I’d just decline the invitation. I would feel bad about not going and probably would wish the bride would have chosen something more economical. My sister was talking about going to Vegas for hers and we seriously had to talk her out of it – no one would have been able to afford it (even her!) after the airfare, hotel, meals, etc.
Post # 5
A little confused but here is my take. I would in no way be mad if I could not attend a bachlorette party due to cost and more than likely would refuse anyway. I am frugal. I cannot attend a friends New Years Eve wedding due to the ridiculous costs to fly coast to coast and time off work. I am not mad, however are they? Yes! That is what upsets me is when the bride gets upset that people dont come at all costs to their wedding or bridal parties. People can be upset at me for all I care, when I am living in my home, mortage/bills paid with money to spare in the bank and their scrapping pennies, maybe they will realize why I made the decisions I did.
Post # 6
Speaking as someone who was invited or as the hostess or bride? I wouldn’t be mad but I would be disappointed in either scenario. Then again, I’ve never heard of expensive bachelorette parties occurring away from wherever you live or are getting married. The current state of the economy doesn’t help matters either.
Post # 7
- Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch
I’m also confused as to why people would be mad at *you* for this. Are you the bride and they are mad at you? Or are you one of the invitees and people are mad at you?
But no, I wouldn’t be mad at the bride if her bach plans were too expensive for me. That happened at the last wedding I was in, and I just decided not to go because I couldn’t afford it.
Post # 8
I just had the same issue pop last week. I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor and the bride didn’t specify what she wanted to do just where she wanted to go. So I found a hotel with a bach party package (included hotel room, spa treatments, champagne/fruit and pool-side cabana). I didn’t know how much the other girls were willing to spend so I emailed a few to get a feel.
One of the BMs emailed me back and said yes, sounds good go for it. Later that night she called the bride complaining about how expensive it is and that the bride should have chosen something cheapier or local. The bride was in tears. She had no clue what the girl was talking about. I was pissed that someone had the nerve to be mad about it and call the bride. If you can’t afford to go then say so or decline the invite. But to ruin things for everyone including the bride is unfair.
Post # 9
Yup, I am the bride. My sister coordinated it all by advising the invitees. I dont have birdesmaids, so no one had to dish up money for a dress or a bridal shower ( my mother is paying for it, since we are paying for the wedding) There may have been some misunderstanding b/c there was an initial plan then this plan came up & they declined. We proceeded with the plans however there was talk thereafter about a stripper with those invites and that it was for my bachelorette; therefore, they assumed the bachelorette was still here – so when my sisters and I booked the cruise – they all got pissed 1) because they still thought it was here and 2) they had already declined (Im thinking the stripper is for my bridal shower but my sister wanted to keep it under wraps) Anyways aside from that confusion – they are upset that I choose the cruise – I explained I am the bride, I really didnt want a bachelorette, I preferred something relaxing not strictly a crazy party, I can only have one and if they want me to have something in town they can pull it together themselves but I only have one weekend I can spare since I am in school and doing all the wedding planning and DIY on my own.
A mother of the invitees that is not going threw me under the bus saying I didnt tell them and it was wrong. However, I confirm they were told – just talked it out with one of them because I needed to know what the hell was going on – and she admitted she was disappointed or something around those lines that there wouldnt be a second bachelorette to include them – I said my bridal shower is intimate and I said I really dont care, it can be my bachelorette – I have yet to talk to the other two family members but as much as I want to resolve it ( i.e. before the bridal shower on saturday) Im freaking exhausted and done with it.
Total unnecessary drama that needs to be squahsed asap. Thanks for your advice – Im sad they can join but I understood it was $250 that not everyone has – it was my choice and the first time I pull out my “Im the Bride” card – I was asked what I wanted to do – I choose that and hoped people could make it – sorry they cant. I dont expect anyone to be able to make it and I am overjoyed by the fact my sisters can make it – I wish I could have two, but I cant because of school.