(Closed) Would you be mad if you couldnt afford someone’s bachelorette plans?

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmm I mean, I’d be dissapointed if I couldn’t go, yeah, but MAD – no. If that’s what the bride wants to do then that’s what she wants to do. It sounds like she wasn’t under the assumption that everyone would be able to come anyway – or am I wrong? I’m a little confused about how it was organized, though, and how exactly you are being thrown under the bus. What family is throwing you under the bus – her family? Are you related to her? I’m confused. Maybe I need more coffee….

Post # 4
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I”m a little confused by your description of events and your relationship to the bride/involvement in the planning. Do you mean people are getting mad at you b/c it’s too expensive?

If I were invited to a Bach party that was way too expensive for me I’d just decline the invitation. I would feel bad about not going and probably would wish the bride would have chosen something more economical. My sister was talking about going to Vegas for hers and we seriously had to talk her out of it – no one would have been able to afford it (even her!) after the airfare, hotel, meals, etc.

Post # 5
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

A little confused but here is my take. I would in no way be mad if I could not attend a bachlorette party due to cost and more than likely would refuse anyway. I am frugal. I cannot attend a friends New Years Eve wedding due to the ridiculous costs to fly coast to coast and time off work. I am not mad, however are they? Yes! That is what upsets me is when the bride gets upset that people dont come at all costs to their wedding or bridal parties. People can be upset at me for all I care, when I am living in my home, mortage/bills paid with money to spare in the bank and their scrapping pennies, maybe they will realize why I made the decisions I did.

Post # 6
4485 posts
Honey bee

Speaking as someone who was invited or as the hostess or bride? I wouldn’t be mad but I would be disappointed in either scenario. Then again, I’ve never heard of expensive bachelorette parties occurring away from wherever you live or are getting married. The current state of the economy doesn’t help matters either.

Post # 7
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I’m also confused as to why people would be mad at *you* for this. Are you the bride and they are mad at you? Or are you one of the invitees and people are mad at you?

But no, I wouldn’t be mad at the bride if her bach plans were too expensive for me. That happened at the last wedding I was in, and I just decided not to go because I couldn’t afford it.

Post # 8
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I just had the same issue pop last week.  I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor and the bride didn’t specify what she wanted to do just where she wanted to go.  So I found a hotel with a bach party package (included hotel room, spa treatments, champagne/fruit and pool-side cabana).  I didn’t know how much the other girls were willing to spend so I emailed a few to get a feel. 

One of the BMs emailed me back and said yes, sounds good go for it.  Later that night she called the bride complaining about how expensive it is and that the bride should have chosen something cheapier or local.  The bride was in tears.  She had no clue what the girl was talking about.  I was pissed that someone had the nerve to be mad about it and call the bride.  If you can’t afford to go then say so or decline the invite.  But to ruin things for everyone including the bride is unfair.

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